The Simple Lives We Live
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The Simple Lives We Live
God Will Take Care of You | Janice Stedman
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What happens when two kids with the mumps decide to have an egg-eating contest? Janice Stedman grew up a tomboy named "Johnny" on a farm near Galva, born in Beach, ND, with no running water and plenty of mischief. She graduated in a class of three, married David four days later in her prom dress, and built a life in Missoula before coming home. Janice opens up about faith, loss, and the day her brother Buzz asked, "Sis, will you run it for me?"
Welcome to The Simple Lives We Live, where we capture the extraordinary stories hidden inside ordinary lives. I'm your host, Kylie Simiano, and each week we sit down to share memories of love, family, hardship, joy, and the moments that shaped us. If these stories mean something to you, you can help support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a review, sharing episodes with family and friends, or donating through the links in our website and social media bios. Your support helps keep these stories alive. Now, let's settle in and listen back together. Welcome back to another episode of The Simple Lives We Live. The quote today: the greatest wealth is to live content with little, and that is by Plato. So today I have a super, super beautiful guest. I've got Miss Janice Steadman with me. So welcome. Thank you. I'm so glad you were able to that we were able to make it this work. So me too. Yeah. Interesting. And Janice and I do not know each other at all. I just met you about five minutes ago. So I'm gonna have you start off with how old are you? I'm 84. 84 years young. That's really what I should say, right? Now, where were you born? In Beach, North Dakota. You were in Beach.
SPEAKER_00Have you always lived in Beach? We live, I I lived in Beach until 1967, and then my husband and I moved to Missoula, and we lived there for 25 years, and then we moved back because of uh his Alzheimer's and living we we moved to Galva. Moved to Galva first, yes. Okay, and I mean when he wandered off, they would call me and say, David is down by the elevator. I mean, I would have never had that in Missoula, Montana.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, and they knew who who he was and who to call and okay. So you lived in Missoula for 25 years, you moved back to Galva. Um, let's start then with you were living in Beach, you grew up in Beach. How many siblings do you have, and where do you fall in line?
SPEAKER_00I have uh there's there were six of us, and I'm the fifth.
SPEAKER_02You're the fifth.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so who let's list them in order? Donham Sagula, okay, Charles Fulton, Maynard Fulton, okay, Larry Fulton, and then would have been me, Janice, and then my youngest sister is Marles.
SPEAKER_02Prince. Okay. Okay, so six kids. Who were your parents? Barb Dudley and Barbara Fulton. What were their names? Dudley. Dudley. Okay. And Barbara? Yeah. Okay. What were they like as parents? Tell me a little bit about them.
SPEAKER_00I I they were wonderful. I mean, we we did a lot of things, you know. Um, we didn't have a lot of money, you know, to go places, but like someday, some weekend that'd take us to the Medicine Rocks down by Ikalaka where we could climb in the rocks. Or uh my mom had a brother that lived over by Amadon, and we would go over there maybe and and visit and play with the kids, you know, our cousins.
SPEAKER_02And lots of family time together though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02What did your parents do? Was your mom a homemaker? Yes. Okay, and what how about your dad? He just worked the farm. The farm, okay. So you grew up on a farm. What were some of your chores that you had to do?
SPEAKER_00Oh, like milk the cows, help weed the garden, help with mom, you know, was gonna can food. We had to help with that. We always had we didn't have running water. Okay.
SPEAKER_02So who did somebody was somebody in charge of going and getting the water?
SPEAKER_00Well, we just had we had a um a well just down the hill from where the house was. And so we just go down there and pump water and carry it up to the house.
SPEAKER_02Was it usually the older ones that would do that just because trying to get more water is heavy? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so no running water, lots of um what do you call like uh sponge baths? Mm-hmm. Was pretty much, yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Or well, we had a tub that we'd bring into the house. We just heat the water over the stove. Yes, okay. And heat the water for the ringer wash machine. No electricity. We had we had electricity. You did.
SPEAKER_02You never had you never worked without electricity. No.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay. We had heated with coal. Okay. Um dad would go down to the river uh south of us and load up coal and bring it home to that was our heat for winter and stuff, you know. And we had a root cellar, and like when we were getting a bad storm, I remember one time we had a bad storm. Um and uh we he was trying to get us all rounded up to go to the down to the cellar because it was and and the lightning struck the house, knocked one of the two by fours out of the ceiling up in this upstairs. And we had a hard time finding my brother. He was hiding under hit mom and dad's bed, and we were trying to which brother was that?
SPEAKER_02Larry Larry, okay, the one just older than you. Okay, so was it really strong winds and stuff too? One of those terms, okay. Okay, wow. So you guys had cows, so farm and ranch a little bit. Yeah, farming and ranching, okay, and you had chickens, yeah. So you had to get collect the eggs and do you remember? Um, did you have like a certain weekend where you would butcher all the chickens and helping out with that? Or was it more like, hey, we need a chicken, we're gonna go one by one?
SPEAKER_00No, we would usually get like pullets, you know, for um like in the spring, and then there would be so many that we were gonna butcher. Okay. And and we didn't usually have a lot of freezer space, so most of that was put into jars. We can chicken.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it is interesting the freezer versus like canning, because now with meat, you guys would can a lot of meat too, right? And that time okay. Did you help a lot with that? Was that mostly the women that would do even the canning with the men more butcher the cow? Do all of that?
SPEAKER_00Well, and my three boys, the three boys were older, you know. Uh Buzz was the oldest, and then Maynard, you know, uh then there was there was two years between each one of the three older ones, and then there was a four-year span, and then the the other three of us was born. So those two older boys was always helping dad, Buzz and Maynard, or Charles and Maynard, but we we called Charles Buzz. Yeah, that was yeah, his nickname.
SPEAKER_02No, why was that? Where did the nickname come from?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. It was just uh uh us kids started calling him Buzz when we were little, I guess, and it just stuck with him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so many had nicknames, yeah, yeah. If you're your generation, I feel like a lot of people had nicknames.
SPEAKER_00Well, we had a neighbor that named all of us too. So what was yours? What was yours? He called me Johnny, Johnny, yeah, because I was such a top boy, I was always climbing the windmill and up there turning the wheel. And was that fun? Yes, yeah, because you could get up on top of that, you know, the little platform up there and you could see forever, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I got in a lot of trouble learning that. What were some of the games that you played growing up with your siblings? Were you all close? Were you pretty close siblings? Uh yeah, yeah, all through the years we all stayed pretty close, yeah. You know, so when you were young, did you all play together when there wasn't necessarily chores that had to be done? Oh, yeah. What were some of the games that you played?
SPEAKER_00Oh my I think we did hopscotch outside, we did I don't know. It was just a lot of the older games, you know, that we used to play.
SPEAKER_02Did you all have bicycles? Did you ride bike at all? No, no bicycles, no, okay. Jumping rope? Did you have you did have jump rope?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_02So we did some of that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. My little sister, Marle's like one that was two years younger than me. We we played a lot together. I still have my doll. My uh doll that I had when I was growing up, you know, they were cloth and and with the sex ceramic head, you know. And so I've got that sitting on a little chair in my living room. When everybody comes in, they look at that and say, Is it kind of old and tattered and torn a little bit? Or bad because because my uh older sister then went and made some dresses and little outfits that I could put on it. So it's it's nice, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And your brothers didn't take the head off. No, well, that was nice of that. So you had great parents, yes, a really good close-knit family, it sounds like doing a lot of things together.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and you said you grew up on like a farm ranch. Uh what how was school? Did you how far did you live from the school?
SPEAKER_00Well, um, my three older ones, they went to the Crip School, which was I would say about three miles or better that they had to go. What was it called? The Crip. Crip C-R-I-P? Yeah, I think Crip School. Okay. And but who took that? Did they walk most days? Or sometimes they walk, or they we had a horse that they can use, you know.
SPEAKER_02One room schoolhouse, I'm assuming for them too. Yeah. Okay. Was there any going off of that with those three older ones? Did they ever get stuck in a storm or anything like that? No. No, they never did. Okay, okay. And they're usually, I'm learning, there's usually like a barn to put the horses in. Was there for them or just I don't like a little altered?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I don't remember if there was a so did you ever go to that church or church, that school? No. No, no, I went to when my sister, my little sister and I started, we started in Galva, and I went the whole uh 12 years in Golva.
SPEAKER_02So you graduated from Galva as well. How many were in your graduating class? Three. Three. Three was that that was still that's a small class.
SPEAKER_00Well, we started out first grade, there were seven. And then we got up to uh sophomore in high school, and uh there was uh four of them went, you know, moved their parents moved, so they went to different schools. One one boy went to the Abbey, okay, and uh one of them went to school up here, and another one moved to Bismarck. Okay, yeah, kind of dispersed a little bit, and then you guys had only three, you said, in your graduating class. Yes. And they're still right in this area.
SPEAKER_02Really? So everybody's still alive, we're still in this area? Okay, and I did ask earlier when you were listing off your siblings, are all of Buzz has passed away? There's only the three younger ones left. Only the three younger ones left. Okay. What with you going to school in Galva all of those years, who are some of what were some of your favorite subjects and who were some of your like favorite teachers? Or any teachers that you can remember?
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, I remember their names.
SPEAKER_02How about subjects? What when what subjects did you really enjoy?
SPEAKER_00I liked it. Well, and I'm still am a reader. I I like to read. I am I am very into reading.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so now I gotta ask what kind of books you like to read.
SPEAKER_00I'm into uh the older, like the uh Amish books and the the just kind of the older how the older people grew up or some of the you know Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The easier, simpler times, shall we say? Yeah. So reading was good. Did you after you graduated high school, did you go to college at all? No, no college, okay.
SPEAKER_00I graduated um um from my high school, I think our graduation was May 15th that year in 1960. And May 19th, I was married to David Stedman.
SPEAKER_02Oh, you got married real quick after graduation. We did not waste time. So we'll and you know what? Let's come back to that. Um, let's talk just a little bit more about growing up, and then we'll get into how you met him and all that fun stuff. Not that this isn't fun. What are some of your earliest memories of growing up? And did you have did you have a sibling that you were closest to growing up when you were just my little sister, I think.
SPEAKER_00More Marless? Yeah, because Gonna was you know so much older, and so it was mostly Marless that we played a lot together.
SPEAKER_02So talk to me about some of those earliest memories of growing up.
SPEAKER_00I think it was just, you know, we didn't have much, but we didn't want we didn't know. I mean so even the smallest things, like uh one incident that I remember, and that involved my brother Buzz. Um both of us ended up with the mums at the same time. And my mom had gone to come to town shopping, and Buzz was supposed to make sure that we behaved ourselves. And we got an egg eating contest. We went and got eggs and we boiled eggs and we fried eggs and we and he got the hives. And my mom came home and she didn't have no eggs.
SPEAKER_02And he was allergic to eggs and you didn't know. He didn't know how many eggs did you all eat?
SPEAKER_00We ate over a dozen each.
SPEAKER_02Each each. So you had a competition.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And how much older is Buzz than you? Because he's the second.
SPEAKER_00Uh let's see. He was born in um He had to be like eight years older than you or so. Mm-hmm. At least, because And you all eat one dozen. He would be eight years because my oldest sister is ten years older. Donna was ten years older than me.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so a dozen eggs.
SPEAKER_00Yes, and I was out jumping rope, and he was out working on his car when my mom got home. But you had the mumps. I know. We weren't we're not supposed to be outside. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02That is so big. So with him having the hives, how was there anything that you did to help him with that?
SPEAKER_00Well, he didn't get the hives until I mean mom got us home when he broke out with the hives.
SPEAKER_01Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_00Because we I didn't, you know. Did he eat many eggs after that? Just a couple, I think, is all he would eat for breakfast.
unknownUnderstandable.
SPEAKER_02That's so great. What were Christmases like growing up?
SPEAKER_00They were good. Um one of the things I remember, my dad was not a drinker, and so he would always get a model of Morgan David wine, and he would let each of us have a little sip. That was the worst taste of wine I've ever.
SPEAKER_02Is it like dry church wine? Yeah. Is that what you're okay? Oh yeah, gross. Oh, gross.
unknownIt was over me.
SPEAKER_00But mom would make us that stuff, you know. She'd done a lot of sewing and stuff, so we got a lot of new clothes and stuff like that. We didn't have a lot of toys.
SPEAKER_02But you have a certain meal that you had a lot of times for Christmas?
SPEAKER_00Well, she would always make sure that she had like Thanksgiving. We would try to have the turkey and and all the fixings if you know. And and Christmas, we usually had ham.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So the nice kind of traditional, what a lot of people. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so no, no oyster stew for you guys. No, that was a big one. I've heard a lot of, and I'm like, I don't know why oyster stew was so big. I did not like the oyster stew. You did not like the oyster stew. Any other like special traditions around um Christmas? Is there certain decorations or um music or baking or anything like that that you guys would do or go with?
SPEAKER_00We did a lot of making the Christmas cookies, and my mom made fruit cakes. Okay. Those are big. Those are big. Yeah, and she made them in a pressure cooker. Yeah. And uh I mean they were always so moist and interesting. You know, she would take and after she got them out and she would wrap them and and stuff, and I loved hers. Yeah, better.
SPEAKER_02Did she give those as gifts a lot of times?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And you liked hers why? Because it was always so moist, it always stayed so moist. Most fruit cakes now are dry. And I I I have always wished that I would have paid more attention to what she did with that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And maybe the pressure cooker is the key. I've never heard of that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So she would put them in the pans, and then she had this, she'd take like wax paper and put tie a string around that, you know, and that they were in, and that that's how she did them.
SPEAKER_02How about birthdays? Did you do any certain cakes, any certain um traditions around that?
SPEAKER_00Not really. We would celebrate a birthday, you know. Maybe she would make a birthday cake or something, but it wasn't just a really a lot of fancy stuff that we did, you know.
SPEAKER_02Did you have were you able to have like friends over or was it some family that would come over? Just mostly family. Yeah. Did you have grandparents that lived close by then too?
SPEAKER_00We had a uh uh grandma and grandpa um that in later, well, they lived with us. He my grandma was bedridden.
SPEAKER_02Now, would that be your mom's okay?
SPEAKER_00And she took care of her, and so grandpa and and them lived with us when we were little. When some of us were little.
SPEAKER_02Was that hard to have them live with you? Did you have to help out with some with that? Or was it such a did you think of it as a blessing that you got to have them around? What was it that meant to your grandma better than she had um that rheumatoidness or something?
SPEAKER_00Okay, something like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, okay. Hard to see somebody in pain though, too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, with movement like that. And grandpa was always a card. I mean, he was always, you know. Joking around. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He was he was fun to be around. When you were little and you had um no running water, but you had electricity. So, say you had times of long cold snaps or blizzards or things like that. What would you guys all do as a family to stay occupied? Because obviously you probably weren't like going to school or things. Like that during those long, sometimes maybe a long stretch. What was it that you did to occupy yourselves?
SPEAKER_00Played cards, played a lot of those games. We did checkers, we did Monopoly, we did any, we had a lot of those games that you could play. Classic games. Yeah. Everybody just did you have a TV?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_00Not we didn't get a TV until um I was a freshman in high school and um we got a TV because I had um I was out of school for a while.
SPEAKER_02Um think about did you have something? Yeah, you were sick with something?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was sick with something, and I was not able to go to school for a little while, and so they finally got a black and white me. Okay, but otherwise we didn't, so do you do you look back on that?
SPEAKER_02And are you thankful though for that? Oh yeah, yeah. Especially you have such a love of reading. Did you read a lot of books then too growing up and everything? Yeah, well, did you read any classics? Like, I'm trying to think of what would have been what would have been considered already a classic, like Jane Austen or things like that. Did you have any of those types of books?
SPEAKER_00Um we just I usually just got books, you know, from the school because we didn't have we didn't have a library. So I would usually just get books that we could get from you know, take home from the school.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_00Whatever they would have over there. Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02What were summers like for you as a kid?
SPEAKER_00Just lots of playing outside, doing chores, or well, most most all of them could could go out in the field except me because I have asthma really bad. Okay.
SPEAKER_02So did you help your mom out in the house? Mostly you were more doing that. Yeah. Any certain gifts that you got that you remember? Any gifts that stick out to you, whether birthday, Christmas, forgot to ask that. No, no, no. Just mostly the homemade clothes that your mom made and things like that. How about vacations as a kid? Did you get did you guys take any vacations?
SPEAKER_00Not really. Like I said, you know, we dad would take us down to the medicine rocks, you know, and so we could climb around down there. We'd pick up take a picnic lunch and go down and spend Sunday or something, you know. And only one vehicle.
SPEAKER_01Most people only had one vehicle.
SPEAKER_02Um did you have a barn? Did you guys plan a barn? Or or not? I mean, you'd have to have a barn, right?
SPEAKER_00We didn't really have a big barn. We had kind of a shed like thing, you know. We didn't really have a big barn.
SPEAKER_02Is the house that you grew up in, is that still there? Yes. It is. Is it dilapidated or is somebody living there?
SPEAKER_00My one uh Buzz's oldest boy lives on the farm. Okay, has a farm, and he has put some a bigger barn, a great big barn out there.
SPEAKER_02Done some improvements.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Oh, very cool, very neat. And of course, put water in. Yeah. And everything.
SPEAKER_02So the bones are still there though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The bones are still there. I like that. Did you work at all in high school?
SPEAKER_00I didn't work until after I got married. Okay. And then I started working for uh John uh Swigert, Walt Swigert that had the super value store up here.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00The big one on the corner with the Viper State Bank. That was a super value store years ago. And I started working in there when I had little kids and and David's one sister would take would babysit my babysit them. Would babysit my children.
SPEAKER_02So was the reason you didn't have a job in high school? Was it more because you were out on the farm, you were helping your parents, everybody, nobody necessarily worked off of the farm, you were working on the farm, helping.
SPEAKER_00Well, and and Galba really never had much for kids to yeah, kids to do. Plus, we were what it's we were six miles south of Galba of the farm, and then you got 13 miles from Galba.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so yeah, okay, that makes sense. Did you get to do any sports growing up? I was a cheerleader. You were a cheerleader, okay. Is that during the time when they did not have other than cheerleading, they didn't really have girls' sports? They didn't have a lot. Okay, yeah, mostly the cheerleading really could you have done track if you wanted to? I don't know, I don't think so. Okay, and maybe golf it was different than beach too.
SPEAKER_00Like some schools had certain sports and others didn't because of numbers or well, and I think a lot of it was you know, because we had such a few people, and so like the the boys that wanted to play basketball, they were you know there wasn't really uh enough for a team right there. Well, like when I was in high school, gosh, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. It is funny, I always say it's funny because like Golva used to have their own team and beach had their own team, and now you almost don't have enough between all these little communities to have one team, yeah, and they used to each have yeah, their own. Okay, so how did you well? One more thing. Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? When you were younger, was there a certain ambition that you something that you wanted to be? No, no, because what were the options back then? Was it pretty much like nurse, secretary, teacher? Like I never wanted to be a teacher. I feel like there weren't a lot of options for women back then. Um I feel like that was maybe the three big ones that you hear a lot of. Yeah, you know, seagurial, nurse, teacher. So nothing necessarily that was calling your name.
SPEAKER_00No, okay.
SPEAKER_02Who in your family or who in general do you feel like influenced you the most while you were growing up?
SPEAKER_00I think Buzz did. And in what way? Because uh even when I was in high school, uh my junior year, we had to pick a person to write a paper on. And so I was so impressed with what a hard worker he was, and he had kids, you know, and and I never heard him holler at his kids, you know, and yeah, and he he just impressed me, and and so uh when they asked me uh to to pick someone that I was really impressed with, I wrote a story on him. And so then after uh I got it back and was graded and everything, I gave it to him, and before he passed away, he had kept that he had kept that paper the whole time, and before he passed away, he gave it back to me.
SPEAKER_02Wow. Was your dad did he learn that from your dad? Do you think was your dad very similar in being that good dad, very involved, not yelling and not okay?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because when when us kids were little, you know, we'd go over to the alpha, they would have dances over in the alpha country club, and they would take us. And if we got tired, we crawled under the bench and went to sleep until they went home. And then we all that's how we did a date night. Yeah, that's how we learn to dance, we learn to do a lot of singing, and when we get in the car to go someplace, mom would always start singing old hymns, and that's what we would do. So there's just a lot of old hymns that I still somebody will mention a name and I can see you remember it, the words and everything.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Do you a lot of times when they will say that and a song comes to mind or the song that they mention comes to mind? Do you oftentimes have a memory that goes with that song?
SPEAKER_00Just the memory of us always, yeah. When we would try to, you know, we would go someplace or something. It was just it was just a way to be and entertained, you know.
SPEAKER_02I love that that is such a beautiful, like just simple memory, and a lot of times we take those things for granted anymore of just singing in the car with our kids or whatnot, and that sometimes are things that they remember more than the big yeah, extravagant.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I and I see so many kids don't know that they're on their they have Bible devices, and I think, oh, I don't know that I just think what I had was so much more real, it was yeah, communicating with people and using your creativity and yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so what's the name of your husband? David. David? Yeah, okay. How old were you when you met David?
SPEAKER_00Um I was go to the same school? No. Oh, oh, okay. We gotta, I yeah, I want to know about this. He he was uh he was a friend of my brother Maynard. My and Maynard had, I don't know how my brother Maynard met him, um, but he did, and that's how I was introduced to him.
SPEAKER_02And how old were you when you met him?
SPEAKER_00Uh 17, maybe no, 16. 16 when you met. Yeah. Got married at 18.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So how did he ask you out? Usually he would just say that we were gonna go, you know, uh, and it was usually with Maynard and his wife or his girlfriend that at the time. Yeah, you know, um, we went up to Buffalo. Um uh what is it uh up north? Um is it Almond's Day? No, the the dance hall that's up there. Oh, I have no idea.
SPEAKER_01Take your time.
SPEAKER_00Now I should have written that down because now I can't think about it.
SPEAKER_02They had dances up there and we'd we'd take off and drive up there and so it wasn't uh hey, do you want to go out on a date or do you want to be my girlfriend?
SPEAKER_00It was a slow kind of yeah, we just we just kind of because I was kind of close to my brother Maynard too, so you know he would and and the gal that he was going with, we were pretty good friends, and so they would ask if I wanted to ride along, and and that's then they would he would usually stop and pick up David, and then that's how we kind of got going together. How much older was he than you? If you were 18, how old was he? Let's see, he was born in 39 and I was born in 42, so three three years.
SPEAKER_02So he was about 21 when you guys got married. Okay. How do you propose? Do you even remember?
SPEAKER_00I am kind of putting you on the spot on that one. I don't I think we just talked about getting married, you know. And uh actually my mother was not very happy. She didn't like him? No. Did that ever change over time? It did after we had our first child. Okay. And finally, um but she softened to him a little bit, yeah. But she she she didn't even come to the we got she she was so upset that I was gonna marry him. We come and got married at St. Paul's Lutheran Church, and um Reverend Caxer married us there, and the only one there was was um David's parents, and his sister and her husband that stood up for us, and two of his brothers.
SPEAKER_02So extremely small wedding. Your mom was not there, my mom or dad. You're was your dad still alive at that time? And he did not come either. Well, I think because of your mom? Yeah. Okay. So he didn't he didn't give you away. Who gave you away? Nobody. You off by yourself. Yeah. Does that still hurt?
SPEAKER_00In a way, it does because they just did not realize what a guy he was. You know, I mean, we were married 53 years, and he was always a he was always a well provider. Um, and he was always doing everything with his kids, with the kids that we had, you know, and so it, you know, yeah, kind of tell me a little bit more about your husband.
SPEAKER_02What kind of person he was like? You said he's a great provider, he was a really good dad, it sounds like right. What else was he like?
SPEAKER_00He was all we we um he worked at the sawmill there in in Missoula. I mean, when we first moved to Montana, he worked on the ranch, and then my uncle, my dad's uh brother-in-law, lived in Missoula and he worked out at the sawmill and he said, David, why don't you come to work at the sawmill? And so David went out to the sawmill and he worked there until he retired. So he was there the whole 20-some years that we were did you move right after you got married? No, uh, we didn't move until 67. Okay, how long had you been married before you moved? We were married in 60, so seven years. So seven years. He worked for Bobby Jones.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02Now the wedding was really simple. Obviously, probably no dance, no reception.
SPEAKER_00No, we went to uh we went over to dance club for supper that night. Okay. What do you have for did you have a wedding dress? I wore the same dress that I wore for my prom.
SPEAKER_02I'm just gonna say, don't matter the dress, doesn't matter, right? 53 years. Yeah, you had a simple wedding, a simple meal after that, yeah. Um, so how many kids did you and David end up having? Three. You had three kids. Okay, so list them for me. Janet.
SPEAKER_00Okay, Dwayne. Galber.
SPEAKER_02Okay, and I've lost the middle one after Janet and Dwayne. After Janet or after Dwayne? Yeah, I oh wait, you lost Dwayne.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he died at fifty when he was 58 years old. He he was the truck driver and he called crawled under his truck to on the trailer and he called back out and he had what they have a what they call a widowmaker. He was 58. He was 58.
SPEAKER_02So was he married, had kids? Okay, we're gonna come back to that if that's okay. Huh? We're gonna come back to that. That's okay. Yep. Okay. When your kids were little, you said you did work. So you had a high school education, no college, right? Correct. You got married. How soon after you got married did you have Janet?
SPEAKER_00Uh David and I were married May 19th of 1960, and my daughter was born February 19th of 1961. Exactly nine months to the date.
SPEAKER_02That is impressive. That is impressive. So, kids right off the bat, how what's the age difference then between Janet, Duane, Delbert?
SPEAKER_00Uh Dwayne was born in 62, like November 18th of 1962, and Delbert was born May 15th of 1965.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so pretty all pretty close together. When you were when you were in the midst of growing your family, did you work? Or were you at home while the kids were being born and stuff? No, I worked after the supervisor. You did while you were having babies. Okay. So even when Janet was little, I don't think I started till Dwayne was after Dwayne was born. After Dwayne was born. And you said who watched them for you?
SPEAKER_00Um my sister-in-law. Your sister-in-law watched them while you worked.
SPEAKER_02How many hours did you work a week?
SPEAKER_00Um, I worked full shifts so 40 hours, five days a week, yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_02What did David do during that time? He worked for Mommy Jones, yeah. Okay, okay. And that worked for you guys. Yeah. Did you ever did you ever feel like you were missing out with the kids? No. Did you so I'm assuming with the 40 hours, was it Monday through Friday previously? Weekends off. So a normal kind of work week in a sense. So you had the weekends then to spend together as a family, things like that. Um okay, and now how many grandkids do you have?
SPEAKER_00I have 15 grandchildren. 15 grandchildren. Okay. 33 great.
SPEAKER_0233 great. Okay. What what year did Dwayne pass away? 2020. Well, that was a crappy year. 2020. And what year did your husband pass away? 2013.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02I have to take notes. People are like, what's taken her so long to ask a question? Um let's talk about David's. When you moved back, he had already been. Was he kind of full-blown having like Alzheimer's, things like that, or is it more of he started to become a little forgetful? And then you moved back before it really got bad.
SPEAKER_00I really didn't realize how bad he was until we moved back. Okay. Because he never did like to drive in Missoula. And so when we were gonna move, um, my son Dwayne drove his dad's pickup, and he had a house here, and and the house that I'm living in now used to be my son Dwayne's. And um we got there and I said, David, you you're gonna have to drive the pickup on to Galbuff. And he said, I don't know how. And so then shortly after we got checked in, I took him to a doctor and he couldn't even draw the clock. He couldn't draw a clock even. Yeah, they asked him to try to draw a clock.
SPEAKER_02How old was he at that point? Do you remember?
SPEAKER_00Well, we moved here in 04. Okay.
SPEAKER_02So we had a a good nine years of downhill.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and five of that was. Spent in the Webow nursing home. Okay, so I was gonna ask that if I'm in the Webone.
SPEAKER_02Did you was it really difficult though to care for him during that time? Because that became your full-time job too, right? You didn't work anywhere once you guys were back here. No, well, not until after he went to the nursing home. Then I went back to work. Then you did. Where did you work at in Montana when you were in Missoula? Where did you work at Elliott Since?
SPEAKER_00So another super grocery store. Well, I worked I worked actually for Safeway for seven years and then I spent 20 and to work for Elliott Since.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02So then you guys moved back in 2004. Can you talk on what it is like to care for somebody whom you love so much, that's like your person, and to watch that decline. What is that like for you, the caretaker?
SPEAKER_00It's awful. It's it's an awful disease because um, you know, they have that Alzheimer's place in Dickinson. They'll say they'll help you, you know, if you need help. And so I called them because I could not leave him alone. And you would have to have somebody stay with him, you know, or something. And sometimes I didn't have anybody that could do that. And so I would take him with me to Dickison and I'd have him get a hold of the pack of the cart, and I'd drag a cart all the way through Elbertson or around Walmart. Walmart, yeah. And to get the groceries we needed. And they said, well, we can come out, and they said, we could come out there for two hours. I said, if you come here for two hours, it takes me an hour to get to Dickison and an hour to get home. I don't have time to shop.
SPEAKER_02Right, right.
SPEAKER_00Oh, so you know, it was just a and I I mean and he got where. Well, he had uh the Thanksgiv um before he went into the nursing home, uh he got out on the front porch and just used underwear at night, and it was winter time, and so I um had my boys put a lock up on the top of the door that I could reach, and so every night I would lock that, and I had um mats by the side of the bed, so when he got up it would set off an alarm.
SPEAKER_02Or you know really just tried to think of everything and anything that could happen. Yeah. So that you could be aware of what's going on before something went too far.
SPEAKER_00Well, because that one fellow that was here that got out that lived in Beach, he got out in the middle of the night and walked away, and they found him froze to death three or four blocks from the house. You know, it was winter time. He got out at night and he's under clothes. And I was scared to death about that.
SPEAKER_02As anybody would be. Yeah. Yeah. And when it's all on you, that's a lot of responsibility, and you're also trying to take care of yourself a little bit as well.
SPEAKER_00Well, and if it finally the doctor said to me, he said, it's either you or him. Yeah. He said, you've got to decide what you need to do to put him where you've got some help. Because he's he said, and that's a hard decision.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02What what's the discussion? Um when you finally make that decision to go into the Lebow nursing home. What's that discussion like with him? Did he even know? Did he and what is that like with your children?
SPEAKER_00Well, um the day I had to take him over there, my son Delbert went with me. And uh he he knew I mean he knew I was declining so bad that that we had to do something. So they were more on board. Yeah. They knew the degree to which it had gotten. Okay. And so he went with me the day we took him over, and then they told me I couldn't come back for a couple of weeks. I had to let him kind of get used to the new yeah, okay. And which was a hard thing not to to go over, you know. But you don't have a lot of options. No, no, and when we left there, I cried all the way. I'm sure. You know, and then and then every time the after the two weeks, even when I would go back, he would say, I want to go home. You know, yeah. And so one of the nurses, about the time after I got done visiting and stuff, they would take him off someplace and then I would leave because they had a a thing on his ankle. So if he got through the door, it would set off the alarm.
SPEAKER_02When he started to decline, did he get angry? Did he get mean? Some get you know meaner, some some he's their sense of humor. So what personality-wise did he change it all?
SPEAKER_00He he didn't. I was that they told me that he couldn't, but he did not get angry. Or he did one time over at the at the nursing home, I guess he got angry and he grabbed a guy's arm and twisted it. And but he never got angry, you know, never tried hitting me or pushing me or anything.
SPEAKER_02Did he ask you why can't I go home? Where were you? Where, you know, when you would have conversations with the kids around him, did he mostly just stay quiet? Because they're trying to figure out like they know they should know who you are. Yeah, did he always remember you? No, no, do you feel like that's the hardest part when they just don't recognize you and yeah?
SPEAKER_00Well, and it and it got where he had to be lifted out of his bed. He was in diapers all the time, and they when you would feed him, they had to put his food into a blender and blend it, and then you'd have to say you'd give him a bite, and then you'd have to rub his neck and to get him to swallow. And so um, I had gone to a doctor um uh in October of 2012. Let's see, yeah, because he died the on New Year's Day at 2013. So it was October of 2012. I went to a doctor in um Bismarck, and of course they ask you all these questions, you know, about your families and stuff. And and so I was telling him that my husband had the Alzheimer's, and he said, he said, I'm gonna tell you something. He said, My mom and dad both had Alzheimer's really bad. And he said, You go back and you tell him to quit giving him all that medication and just keep him comfortable, because I told him how bad he was, and so I went back over there and I said to him, You you can't give him this medicine anymore, just keep him comfortable. And they said, You can't do that. I said, I had a doctor tell me I could do that because he said what was gonna get him would be pneumonia or something, and that's actually what did get him.
SPEAKER_02He got pneumonia, it's really hard to um to watch a loved one really start, like they're not themselves anymore. And so to watch them even struggle with like they know they should know who you are and they can't place you and they don't, and it's it's very frustrating for them, and then it's just really sad on those that because you want you want your person, yeah. You want your person to be there and to like you know, even whether it's to even share a laugh or a a memory, and you can't do that. So I'd imagine that that's very, very hard, yeah, to have it be a spouse, especially, especially.
SPEAKER_00And it was, you know, when we went over there when he when they called us when he was so sick on uh January 1 of 2013, and the boys and we were there, and and Delbert just went up to his dad, and I don't know if he understood him or not, you know, but he just he just went up to him and he said, Dad, we'll take care of mom. And wasn't much longer and he went away. I don't know if he actually heard him say that, you know. Yeah, which they say sometimes they do. It's okay for you to go, but yeah, and Delbert has taken very good care of me. I mean so he lives here, yes. Delbert does. Okay, he works for a priority lumber, he's the driver of the big truck.
SPEAKER_02Okay, and where does Janet live?
SPEAKER_00Janet lives in Forsyth. Okay, Janet, okay, and she just lost her husband this year. He had MS uh really bad. We're going to his memorial service the 15th of August.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
SPEAKER_00Wow, must have had a lot. He had MS for 36 years, though. So, and he was yeah, she took care of him, so she kind of understands now.
SPEAKER_02Let's talk about Dwayne, if that's okay. Okay, so you said 58 had a widow maker, right? Yeah, so obviously, no indication, very out of nowhere. How do you, especially after losing like a spouse, then how do you handle losing a son? Right? Because the kids are supposed to go first, or the parents are supposed to go first, excuse me. Say it the right way. And when that doesn't happen, what what helped you to carry out?
SPEAKER_00I think because I know the Lord, and I know that everybody has their time, and he's the one that makes the decision when we go and when we don't go. And when I found out that because he was he was up north and it was foggy that day, they couldn't even get a he was at Tyoga, they couldn't get a um of helicopter to take him to Minot. He had to go to Mynot to the hospital. So they took him by ambulance and they had done CPR the all the way. And if he would have made made it, I mean if they could have brought him back, what kind of a life he had? He would have never wanted to be in a nursing home. No, he was such an outdoor person that how many kids did he leave behind?
SPEAKER_02Three three kids, and that's hard on them. I mean, obviously that's no, you said you have 15 grandkids, 33 great grandkids. Yeah. Is there anything else you want to before we go to the is there anything else you want to add about Wayne? Anything you want to talk about about him that you want to say about?
SPEAKER_00Well, actually, when when I had to put David in the nursing home, uh the house that I had in Golma had an apartment downstairs. And at that time he was he was divorced and he was back single again, and he was driving trucks, so he just moved into my basement. He was only there once in a while, so he just bought that house because I I there they couldn't take my car and and and a house away from me, and so he bought it. He bought the house and to kind of help with making what we what we needed for yeah, and so he lived with me, he was living with me at the time, and then he passed away.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's little blessings that you got along like some extra time maybe with him too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. With the grandkids, how has being a grandma been different than being a mom?
SPEAKER_00Um, I don't know. I uh Grayson uh lives right here in town. He has three little ones. All this week I've been over there taking care of. She's an RN and so she works night shift in Glendive.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00And he drives the dump the dump truck and and works the the dump yard and stuff out here. And so, like, well, the other morning, Wednesday morning, uh she was at work Tuesday night, she don't get home till eight o'clock in the morning. He wanted to go out on the dump by he wanted to be going at five o'clock. So I got up at 3:30, I went over there at 4:30, so he left at 5. Then she gets home at 8, she lays down and sleeps, and I watch the kids until she gets up. But this week she's had them in the two older ones, the five and the three, she's had in swimming lessons. So she'd sleep to get up and take the kids to swimming lessons while I watch the little one-year-old.
SPEAKER_02Oh, and do you feel like that keeps you young though? Because that's what my grandma would always say. Yeah, that having the little ones around always kept her young. You knew more of the the younger kids were around town, but you also you were always using your mind, you were always walk moving, it just kept her young. Do you feel the same way with having grandkids and great grandkids, of course, around as well? Yeah, and I'm sure they love having you. What a blessing.
SPEAKER_00Well, and it's beautiful, just keeps them from taking them to daycare, you know, and um McKinsey does she is so wonderful with taking those kids doing stuff, you know. And I I just don't mind going over and helping them. I mean, now that we don't have the restaurant, you know, we since Barb and I run the restaurant for seven years. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Is that weird not having that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I miss the people, yeah. That's what she said to really missing the people. Yeah. Have you spent any part of your life traveling? No. Do you ever feel like you that you missed out?
SPEAKER_00No, no, okay. I did that with with I took one um cruise, my brother Buzz, and my sister Marla's and her husband and her two grandkids, and we went to Alaska.
SPEAKER_02How was that?
SPEAKER_00It was fun, yeah. Enjoyed it, but happy to be home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and so I I did get to do that. Yeah, and it was fun, and we enjoyed it, but but otherwise I don't do much. Well, like um Delbert has taken me to Missoula a few times since I've retired, uh, or since we've I've been here uh because there were six girls that I worked with at Albertsons, and every month the six girls would go out for supper. And just the six of us, you know, we'd go out and just visit, and and so um I always tried to go see if I could get back up to, and they would all get together. Two of them had moved to Spokane since they retired, and they would always come back to Missoula when I was when I would come up so that the six of us could get together. And uh Delbert took you. Yeah, okay. He would probably and um there was one of them last year that passed away, she had cancer. And so I went up to that one. Delbert took me up for that memorial service. So all of us was together.
SPEAKER_02Is is Delbert married?
SPEAKER_00No, okay, but he's got a gal that lives with him.
SPEAKER_02Okay, but she's good with like you, him taking you and taking care of you to do some of those things. She thinks that they're married, but I just think it is so awesome that he does take such good care of you. He really kept that his word to his dad. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, and uh last Christmas, uh Barb Barbara always has Christmas up at her house, and one of her sons' sons was there. Dewey's one of Dewey's sons, and um he was going on about Dewey always coming, making such a he couldn't get hold of his mom one day, so he comes flying over from Weibo because she wouldn't answer the phone and stuff. Well, she has congestive heart failure. Yeah. And AFib, and one time when we had the restaurant, she got up from the table and she fell on the floor. She passed out went on the floor, and I had to call an ambulance for her. So he is very concerned for her. And this kid of his was going on about how stupid that was. You leave your job, you run over here to see. And finally I got tired of hearing it, and I said, you know what? I said, we've got two of the best sons that we could have. I said, Dewey's concerned for his mother, and I said, My son checks on me every day. And I said, you could not ask for a better son.
SPEAKER_02And what what a blessing, too, that that does keep you guys out of like assisted living places, things like that, when you have people around and who can check on you and stuff. It's it is like a lot of uh security almost. Yeah, do you have any unique talents that people would be surprised to hear about?
SPEAKER_00I'd done a lot of the cooking meals for the senior meals over there, but it was because I had cooked, you know. I mean, I have always known how to cook. My mom taught us how to cook.
SPEAKER_02There's nobody that cooks like your guys' generation. Nobody. Do you make lemon meringue pies? No, no, I don't make lemon meringue. I have not had uh like a lemon meringue pretty much since my grandma passed away because nobody can compare like K-pop. But there was just your generation made everything pretty much by hand. Like I often say, like, you you all didn't need to work out. Have you needed bread? Like it's such an art workout, you do it a little bit, and you're like, oh my goodness, but everything was by hand and just the most amazing food all the time. So is that why you got into the restaurant?
SPEAKER_00Well, we got into the restaurant because it was going, it was um Kakuski was going bankrupt, they were repossessing, and Buzz heard about it, so he said, no, we're gonna keep it going for the older people. We need the older people need a place to go, yeah. So he bought it in June of 2016, and in December of 2016 was when he was diagnosed with the brain tumor, and he knew that it was gonna be just a matter of time. They told him they didn't know how long. And so he called me and he said, uh, sis, would you do something for me? And I said, What? And he said, I'm taking my name off the restaurant and I'm putting yours on. Will you run it for me? And I what do you say?
SPEAKER_02What do you say? Especially to the person who's in. You so much in life. Yeah. Right? But you enjoyed it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. And we had it for seven years, and then we put it up for sale. And the other gal bought it.
SPEAKER_02I will tell you, my family loved Buzzies. We'd bring our kids and they would always say, So do we get to go to Buzsies while we're at Nana Puppets? They're like, Yes, we get to go to Buzzies while we're at Nana Puppets. So they loved it. My kids loved going into Bussies. So um what's an important life lesson that you've learned?
SPEAKER_00I don't know, just to be faithful, be true to people, be good to people. You know. I think you've lost a lot of that. Yeah. Yeah. I just enjoy helping people or being good to people. And you know, it's just I mean when I when I worked up at the um at those two stores in Missoula, I was a front-end manager for both of them. I was bookkeeper for both of them. And I only had a high school education.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, you don't always need the education. Like you've got the mind to learn it sometimes, right? Yeah. If you could go back to any stage of your life, whether it's a memory, a particular day, maybe a season, what would it be and why?
SPEAKER_00I just wish, you know, we did some traveling, and and that was David, David always wanted both of us retired. We wanted to do some traveling. I mean, we had we had gotten a little motor home that was just about the right size for the two of us, you know, to go. And we did make a couple of trips like down into Jackson Hall and you know, went to some of the those uh empty cities, you know, the ghost towns and stuff they call them, I guess. But and I just wish we could have done more because he would have enjoyed it. Yeah, yeah. I was just so sad that that he never got to do uh, you know, he worked his whole life and he never got to to really do a lot. I mean, we would go fishing, we would we would take the kids and go fishing when they were little, and of course he always told me to go back and read my book because when I was younger, um my sister Joel Segula and her and and his brother had taken us down to William's Dam south of my mom and dad's place, and we were on inner tubes going across this little lake, and I flipped over and went down, and I didn't know how to swim. And of course, they got me back up, and what they should have did is made me go back across, but they didn't, and so I have never I've always been afraid of water, and David was a good swimmer, and so we would go fishing or camping out, you know, when the kids was little, and he'd take the boys down and they were fishing, and or Janet, whatever, you know, all of them would learn to fit um swim and and stuff. And if I go down there and I'd say, Oh, get get back a little bit, get back, he'd say, Go back to the camper and read your book.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but I understand why you would be like that, yeah, because you always had that fear then, yeah. So you never got that chance to really get over it right away, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I even tried taking water aerobics with some of the girls, but somebody splashed water in my face, and then I was done. I I was no, I didn't not even have any of that.
SPEAKER_02Is that a regret that you never learned to swim?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's why I'm so tickled that McKinsey is taking these this three-year-old and this five-year-old, you know, that's why I'm going over and watching the baby. So they go down, they learn to swim. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Learn have a a healthy fear of water. Yeah, like know what it can do, but yeah, yeah, be smart around it. Yeah, yeah. Is there anything you always wish you did other than swimming, but never got around to?
SPEAKER_00I always wanted to play the piano and I never got to take piano lessons.
SPEAKER_02Piano, awesome. Did you well you talked about singing in with your mom and dad and your siblings? Um, were you a good singer?
SPEAKER_00You don't know. I guess I always I I sing in church all the time. If they don't like my singing, I guess they've never said anything. They've never said anything. So learning the piano. Yeah. I would have liked to have taken piano lessons.
SPEAKER_02Did you, when you were growing up, you didn't do sports, you said cheerleading. Um, did anybody else in your family do sports or learn to play the piano or anything like that? The boys hall did basketball. They did basketball, okay, but nobody did the piano. Nobody learned the piano. If you could go back and give yourself a piece of advice, what would it be?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Just to be kinder to people or you know.
SPEAKER_02You um having been married, you said 53 years to David. What was it do you feel like that you did or told or make agreement-wise whatever that got you guys to 53 years? It would have gone longer had he stayed with us longer. But what was it?
SPEAKER_00I think just the communication, just being able to, you know, talk, say what we wanted to do, you know, like if we went camping and uh all that stuff, you know. I mean, he would tell me to go back and read my book, but I knew it was because he would watch them, you know. Yeah, and it was just I was putting fear into them by keeping hollering at them, you know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So is that the advice that you would give to young couples? What advice would you give to young couples?
SPEAKER_00Communicate, talk, don't be on your phones all the time. Sit down and have a conversation.
SPEAKER_02Do you see that a lot, especially you being at the restaurant for those seven years? Did you see that a lot of people coming in but just not really even visiting?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they would sit across from one another on their phones. And I thought, why are you in here? Why are you about to if you're not gonna why go in there with somebody if you're not gonna visit with them?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, we need to real communication, not these yeah, false like connections that we think we have with people but actually don't. It's just yeah, it's probably it's more artificial, yeah, than it used to be. Yeah. What is your all-time favorite song?
SPEAKER_00Well, I finally found the song that um Sunday in church. I have this song has been going through my mind, God will take care of you.
SPEAKER_01God will take care of you.
SPEAKER_00And so I had that I had looked in the songbook that we have a songbook that um we go to Bible study Friday morning, Barb and I do, and we have songbooks there, and the there's 14 of us, and we'll sing without any uh piano or anything. Sometimes the gal brings her guitar, but recently we've just taken the songbook and we we start singing. Yeah. And so I asked them and I looked through that whole book, couldn't find it. So I asked Pastor at church, Pastor Max did, um, and he said, Yeah, my family, I'm sure that's the name. Um, and so then uh John Foster came in and he plays the piano there at the church. And I said, John, do you know the song God will take care of you? And he said, Let me look. And sure enough, he found it in the book that he has up there, and so he played it Sunday. He played it three or four times while he was waiting for people to come in.
SPEAKER_02So he's still here, John is. Yeah, he is such a good man. We are lucky, lucky to have him for as long as we have. Yeah, I mean, I think pretty sure he's retired now, right?
SPEAKER_00But well he played, yeah, he's retired. He's retired from yeah, yeah, but he plays the piano at the oh that's wonderful. That's wonderful, yeah. Such a such a great guy. And in the morning he'll go in maybe 10 minutes before church starts, and he starts just going through songs, and and so as he was going in, I said asking, and he had it.
SPEAKER_02Oh just made you so happy, right? Yeah, oh, that's awesome. I'm gonna have to look it up. All these songs, a lot of them I don't know that people have mentioned, and I'm like, I have to go through and find these songs now. Um, what's one thing that you would want people to remember about you when you're gone? It's kind of like the worst question, I think. But what would you want to be remembered for?
SPEAKER_00Just being friendly and being nice to people.
SPEAKER_02And well, you and Barb with that restaurant have sure you kept a community together by having that. They are really important to have those things in a community because it's a central gathering place that people can come.
SPEAKER_00And I wished I have wished many times because we had this the the Anna that bought it, uh, we had already told her, you know, two days later I got a call from a guy that wanted to buy it. And it was all I we'd already made the deal in with her, and sometimes I kick myself. Maybe if I would have waited. I just don't know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right? You just don't know, and maybe that was part of God's plan. Yeah, the whole what ifs you can yeah, really beat yourself over the head with all the what ifs.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you know, and I I still every night I pray for Anna because she needs to find some peace. She her husband had been dead three years or so before she moved here, and she still has not dealt with that, and you have to deal with it, you have to come to terms with losing someone. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You you really do, or or it'll eat away. I was just gonna say you know more about that than most of us, yeah. But you know, but you have to you have to learn how to deal with it uh and to get the peace of mind that you need, you just can't keep dwelling on on on that. Yeah, you know that person would want that for you either. No.
SPEAKER_02Are there any other memories that you would like to share?
SPEAKER_00Or funny stories from when the kids were little or I one story, uh little story. The gal that took care of my kids, David's sister. Uh, we had our kids when they were little. Janet was small, and and she hers and Candy Wilson that lives here, or can't I don't that's not her name, last name now, but um she and my daughter were the same age. And um we was at Dr. Bush's and and he gave one of the the little boy a shot uh that was longer younger than and candy went over and kicked old Dr. Bush right in the shin because because he started crying, and he said goodbye, moms, and he made us go out of the room and he picked her up and spanked her butt. No way, and you wouldn't find that today now. No, absolutely not.
SPEAKER_02You know, it's funny that you mention him because he has been mentioned in so many interviews. He is one that I would love to like interview descendants because he had such a mark on this community, and everybody's got a story to tell, but even that, I mean, you could agree with that, but he was incredibly giving, he really took care of this community in ways that I had just no idea what he did, and that's just within kind of my mom and dad's family, yeah. You know, and so obviously it goes beyond that.
SPEAKER_00Look at the thing he has set up with the the service here where you we we were paying ten dollars a year and we get two meals a month free. What did he set up? It's it's through the through the thing, it's and it was because he left money. Like the senior senior center thing.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so he left money. I have no idea about this. See, all these stories keep coming up about Dr. Bush. So how did he do this? He left money to go towards a senior citizen meal.
SPEAKER_00Well, he left some money to the senior citizen center. Oh, center, okay, okay. And so they like when we had it, we did two meals a month. We did it on the first and the third Tuesday. They're doing it on Wednesdays. The no raises. But we did it the first Tuesday and the third Tuesday, and we would fix a meal, and people could pay $10. Like in October, they would get $10 from everybody, and they could come in and get two meals, those two meals, the first and the third, and not pay a time.
SPEAKER_02So basically five dollars a meal in a sense, right? Because you pay ten dollars and you get two meals.
SPEAKER_00Well, the whole year, you get two meals each month. Oh, but you only pay ten dollars a year? Yeah, oh a grief. And now they've just upped it now to twenty dollars. This month we're starting to pay twenty dollars, and we still get two meals a month.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's still a really good deal. Yes, yeah, and a good meal, yeah, and a really good meal. Do you all get together and eat that meal too? So it's a way to bring everybody together.
SPEAKER_00When we had the restaurant, we were getting 45 people on the first and the third.
SPEAKER_01Wow. Oh, you guys will miss that.
SPEAKER_00You will miss that. Well, now they're they're doing it at Dobra's, okay, and it's the first Wednesday and the third Wednesday, and they're fixing the meals because oh, but it's great though that you have community that's okay, that fell through on this end, somebody can take over.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think that that's really great. That that's really, really great. Yeah, I just totally off topic, but I just thought of this. You said your parents didn't really like David until you had Janet. Obviously, he was very well aware of that. How did he feel about that?
SPEAKER_00Well, he knew my mom is not, you know, she she considered him um poor, maybe, I don't know, because you know like not good enough for him. Yeah, yeah, okay. And but you know, and after Janet was born, it was my dad that came up first and kind of got us, you know, to he was more of the bridge, yeah. Okay, and got us going back and forth.
SPEAKER_02And she eventually kind of came around. Yeah, okay. Was he happy about that? Did that like did there end up being some good family gatherings and without awkwardness? I guess.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, when we first moved to Missoula, uh, my dad had already had a stroke, and my mom and dad drove out, she drove out with the pickup and drove out to Drummond. We were on a ranch in Drummond, and she came out there and they stayed with us. And my brother, my brother was working the same ranch, Maynard and his wife. Okay. And so they come out there, stay.
SPEAKER_02Did she ever apologize for not being at your wedding? Did she ever say anything about it? No, no, it was just oh. She was just hoping it's water under the bridge, basically, and that's bringing up.
SPEAKER_00But when my mom got so bad and was in Bismarck Hospital, and I got on a plane in Missoula and flew to Bismarck, and I was there with her for a whole week before she passed away. You were.
SPEAKER_02And I would do it again, yeah, yeah. Because if she to not live with that regret, if you had not come out or not come from Montana to Bismarck, that probably would have been a huge regret for your whole life. Like I should have gone and saw her, I should have just gone and saw her.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and every time my dad ended up in the hospital, I come from Missoula. Fly or drive? No, we drive. We drive, yeah, but that's what you do, that's what you do, especially for family.
SPEAKER_02Sometimes sometimes apologizing to family is the hardest. Yeah, right? And you just gotta hope it's water on the bridge, forget it. But the Lord tells us to honor our mother and father, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I guess some of that stuff really stuck with me.
SPEAKER_02And at least she passed away and you didn't feel like I should have done more, you know, to have that. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01It was patched up.
SPEAKER_00At least I know I was I was there for and my sister Donna and I stayed right there at the hospital, you know. Well, they had a they had a house that we could go to at night that was not far from the hospital.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yep, yep.
SPEAKER_02And so we were there. Anything else that you want to share? Anything that you remember about um oh my gosh, like big world events or anything like that that ring a bell for you, or that you remember, or the biggest world event I can remember is the because there was a TV up in my office, and it was when the towers went down.
SPEAKER_019-11.
SPEAKER_02That sticks with you. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I think we all remember where we were on that day. How about Vietnam? Do you remember much about Vietnam or any of the men around here leaving or anything like that?
SPEAKER_00Well, David had two brothers that was over there, and they both got that um agent or agent on. That's what killed them. You know, I mean they come back from there, but that's what eventually Yep, got them. And I'll tell you one thing. My the the girls that I told you that I worked with, we were always pulling something on the girls' birthdays or something. You know, we were there's a few times they brought in a clown one time when I was front-end manager come in singing to me for my birthday, and here I am all up front with all the customers and everything around.
SPEAKER_02Oh is there anything else that you can think of that you would want to add?
SPEAKER_00I don't think I I just wish that we could find somebody to really take over that restaurant that would be more family-oriented, more community. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_02Because I could when I would come back and we would take the kids there, you I would always run into somebody, whether it's one of my friends, parents, you know, somebody that I could catch up with. And of course, I'm sure my kids were like, mom's gotta talk to all these people. But it was so great to see them because if it wasn't for that, I would not have gotten to see them, you know, and catch up and whatnot.
SPEAKER_00So yeah. That's I just wish we could get it going again. But yeah, you know, everybody said, Well, why don't you and Barb take it back? I I just don't think I can do it anymore.
SPEAKER_02Uh, because you are 84 years young, and there comes a time where other people do have to pick up some of that responsibility if they want the community to go the way that they want it, they also have to put in the oven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So can't always come in. It's the same with families that the glue sometimes passes away and families don't come together anymore. I mean, that we've experienced ourselves, so it's yeah, it's the same kind of concept, I think.
SPEAKER_00So I'm gonna have to go pretty soon because I McKinsey has to go to work tonight, she has to go to Glentime, she has to leave at six.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, we can absolutely be done. Okay, but thank you. You're so great to meet you and to visit and get to know you better. And now when somebody says Janice Devon, I didn't know who they're talking about, and I'll probably know you better than some of them.
SPEAKER_00Well, everybody always says to me, Why do you always have a smile on your face?
SPEAKER_02I don't that's part too. Yeah, you guys, I mean, uh, so many other people are just very joyful, and you didn't come for much, but you know, you had everything you'd really needed. Yeah, which yeah, that's what the whole thing is about.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so and her and I have been sister-in-laws forever. I mean, it seems like she was married to Larry and I was married to David, and then we've lost both of those, and then she married my brother, so yeah, crazy life, right?
SPEAKER_02Yes, connections and how life works out. So, yes. Well, thank you so much so much for taking the time. Okay. Thanks for spending a little time with us today on the Simple Lives We Live. If these stories mean something to you, one of the best ways to support the podcast is to follow, share an episode with someone you love, or leave a review. You can also support the show through the links in our website or social media bios. Until next time, don't forget ordinary lives often hold the most extraordinary stories.