The Simple Lives We Live
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The Simple Lives We Live
Always Room at the Table for One More | Sandi Perdaems
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Out of fish on a Friday with 20 harvest-crew orders waiting? Grandma didn't even blink: "Okay guys, today you can have meat." My aunt Sandi Perdaems takes us back to the Stockwell house in Beach, ND, where there was always room at the table for one more. Listen for Robert's big fur coat at the bedroom window, bologna sandwiches from potato picking, and Grandma refusing to leave the Las Vegas nickel slots.
Welcome to The Simple Lives We Live, where we capture the extraordinary stories hidden inside ordinary lives. I'm your host, Kylie Simiano, and each week we sit down to share memories of love, family, hardship, joy, and the moments that shaped us. If these stories mean something to you, you can help support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a review, sharing episodes with family and friends, or donating through the links in our website and social media bios. Your support helps keep these stories alive. Now let's settle in and listen back together. All right, here we are, another episode. The quote today: some people grow older, others simply gather more stories, more laughter, and more people who love them. So I always say I do a quote that I think fits the person that I am interviewing, and I thought that that was perfect for my guest today, who is my aunt, Sandra Perdames. So welcome.
SPEAKER_02Nice to be here.
SPEAKER_04It's weird for me to call you Sandra because it is Sandy for me, so I'm always gonna call you Sandy. But let's start off with how old are you?
SPEAKER_02Um I'm just turned 78 in May. 78. Okay. So what year were you born? 1948. 1948.
SPEAKER_04So more after World War II.
SPEAKER_03Right after. Right after. Okay.
SPEAKER_04And then how many siblings do we have? And let's list them all and where you fall in line.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I have five older siblings that were um from my dad's second wife, Mary, and that is Donna, Donna Marie, Lila May, Wesley, Elisha, Byron Jean, and Robert Howard. And then there were eight of us with that my mom had, um Regina, Rena, and that was Medelia Ann, Howard Darrell, Gloria Gay, then myself, Sandra May, Glenna Sirene, Perry Joe, Cheryl Renee, and Leonard Dean. Well, I always remembered their middle names, and it's I think because mom used to holler us by at us by the full name when she wanted to be able to do it.
SPEAKER_04In the middle name, you knew you were in trouble, right?
SPEAKER_02Right. So who were your parents? Howard and Howard Stockwell, and then Regina Catherine Lardy.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_04And I want you to tell me what they were like as parents. What do you remember them being like?
SPEAKER_02Okay, my dad was older, so I don't really recall him, you know, being around the house, even. I just have very few memories of him. In in the farm, I remember being in the field with him for some reason. That has stuck in my mind, um, riding on a platform, and I can't imagine that he let us do this, but he was probably planting, and they had those old where they had little buckets where they would put corn or wheat or whatever, and there was a plank below that, and you could sit on that plank. And I remember Gloria and I would sit on that plank and drag our feet in that fresh, cool dirt. And I think of how dangerous that was. That, but he allowed it. So that was one memory that I have. I think because of how dangerous it must have been. Maybe it stayed with me, I'm not sure. Um, I also remember him at we'd go to uh, I think it was like a reunion or I'm not sure at the Weeble Air Dome.
SPEAKER_03Okay, was it the picnic?
SPEAKER_02Yes, it would be like an old settler's picnic kind of thing. And I remember making circles and we'd play drop the hanky.
SPEAKER_04And I don't know how do you play this game? Okay, explain this.
SPEAKER_02I can't imagine, but my dad had a hanky that I wonder how well used it was, but we would use that hanky, and he would walk around the circle and you would drop it behind someone, and they would have to run and chase you, see if they could get back to that spot before you did. So kind of like a duck duck goose, but with another one. Very similar, yep. But it was called drop the hanky. And I still remember my dad, he always wore dress pants and a white shirt. And so he was out there running, and I can still see him smiling and chasing, and he would always say, I'm gonna get you kitties.
SPEAKER_04No, use it. Was it more the family or the whole community? Do you remember?
SPEAKER_02Well, I remember it it being family, but I know we went with a lot of people. Okay. So I wonder if it wasn't a lot of community around.
SPEAKER_03Right. Well, you guys had such a big family, right? I mean again, the family playing with the community, I'm sure it's like you're just like it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_02Um, and then I remember the only other memories I have of him was probably when he was sick. Um, I remember it and couldn't work anymore. Um, he had worked for Caldwell, I think was his name, Cardwell, Caldwell, something like that, doing roofing and kind of some construction. Well, then when he was sick, he couldn't do that anymore. So he stayed home and um I think he kind of took care of us kids, you know. But um he had a beautiful garden, and he would take and put uh troughs, the eavetroughs, old eavetroughs, and he'd put those by the pump and the water would run down those, and he would steer the water with his little hole. He would make little ditches and the water would run, and he would teach us how to put, like, I don't know if we use straw or if we use sticks or whatever, but we those were our boats, and we could float them down those uh little trails of water.
SPEAKER_04Were they toothpicks? Is that where I because I remember grandma getting toothpicks for us when it would rain and stuff and like toothpick races?
SPEAKER_02Well, that probably where it came from. Yeah, right. So I do remember that, and he would just sit on his chair out there and he had beautiful flowers. And I remember people would stop by and visit with him, and sometimes he'd give him flowers out of his garden.
SPEAKER_04So was he really social?
SPEAKER_02What's that? Was grandpa really social? When people came around him, he would visit a lot. I don't think he really reached out to people. Um, I know he went he belonged to a group. If you I don't think they're there anymore, but as you walk down the street, say in front of uh Busy's cafe all the way to the bank where the old bank used to be, there were steps that would go down. You could walk over a grate and you would see down in there, and I think it's where the bowling alley was, down in there. Yes, and he would go in there and have like I don't know, there was a group of men that he would sit and visit with. But I remember walking over that, and we could see the window where it's you can see shadow, you could see a little bit of people down in there. So that was the only thing I knew that you know he did as far as visiting. But otherwise, people came around, he would visit. Yeah, yeah. Um, how about grandma? Your mom. Okay, what I remember about her.
SPEAKER_03We could talk, I feel like forever.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I have so many good memories of her. Um, but tying her in with my dad, I remember one time when she was sick, she was in the hospital, and I think it was nosebleeds, where she would get horrible nosebleeds, and they'd have to pack them and whatever. And he took me with him one day. We walked up to the hospital to see her. And after we were done there, he said, We're gonna walk down to the restaurant and we're gonna have a shake. And at that time, I know he drank a lot of shakes because I think it was easy on his stomach. But um, I remember having that shake, and I was so I mean, I drank that shake, I think I guzzled it right down. By the time I got home, I had to throw up because I I think it was so rich, and I had never had a shake like that before. And it it was so good going down.
SPEAKER_03Not so great coming back down.
SPEAKER_02But I remember that because mom was sick at that time. But um, well, there's so many memories of my mom. What um one thing I can honestly say, I don't ever remember her being mad at me. Ever. I you know, I'm sure there were, but I don't remember them. But um anyway, I don't remember that. I remember always trying to make her happy and still tears you out, but um, I would clean the house, uh, do the dishes, and so you could surprise her, you know. Um and she appreciated it so much. So um that was one memory. Yeah, we both you knew grandma. Um uh then I also have a lot of good memories of working with her. Um we both worked the early shift at Homer Madison's, and I tried to think of what the name of that cafe was, but it was up on the highway across from the old Dairy Queen. Oh, you know, and where that I think it's a mechanic shop now. Or whatever.
SPEAKER_04I don't even know if it's being used now, but yeah, I know where you're talking about, right?
SPEAKER_02And that was Mary Thorson had it, but Homer owned the building. And Mary, I don't know if they had something worked out where she rented from him or whatever, but it was always so cute because the grill was out where people could see you cook. I always thought that was the most awkward position to be in if you were uh the cook. But my mom, it never bothered her. She and the counter was right here, you know, right beside the grill, and people could sit here and visit with her. And the one I remember that the most about visiting with her was Monk Gilman. I you you probably wouldn't have known him.
SPEAKER_04No, but Howard talked about him.
SPEAKER_02Oh, did he? Yes. He was a great man. Um, anyway, he um would was the milk delivery man, so he would come and fill the containers that were in the back where we would get our milk out of. He would fill those every morning, and then he would go and sit in the cow at the counter next to where grandma was cooking. And his, I still remember his order, one-on-one. And that was one egg, soft egg, on top of his pancake. And so he would sit there and those two would tease each other. I don't know how they did that. Every day they had something new to talk about, but and they were always teasing each other, and so there was a lot of laughter. I remember that a lot. Um, another thing was she was she kept everything calm in that restaurant. One time we had to, um, there was a group of custom combiners, and they would come in every day for lunch. And it was in that time when you didn't eat meat on Fridays, and he um, I can't remember the guy's name now, just like that, it skipped my mind. But he would bring his crew in and they would fill the restaurant and they all ordered fish sandwiches that day, and easy orders, fish sandwich, you know, fries, and probably milkshakes, whatever. And so mom goes back to the freezer to get the fish out, uh, and there is no fish. And I have like 20 orders of fish sandwiches, and she goes, Sandy, we don't have any fish. I said, Oh my god, mom, what are we gonna do? And she said, Well, this is what we're gonna do. She went out and she talked to the boss, the head custom combiner, she said, Okay, guys, we're out of fish, so today you can have meat. And she said, and she will take your orders, so you just give them, but we're giving meat today. Oh my god. I just thought, you know, at that time, I wonder what they thought, but everybody ordered whatever. I don't remember, but um make the best of it, right? Yeah, and she was just, you know, we can do this, just tear up those slips, we'll start over. And so that's what we did. But I remember that just because I panicked, she did not. She just took by the, you know, did you say the bowl by the horns and did it? Um another thing I memory I have, and I think some have mentioned this before in the other interviews, was on Sundays. Um, we'd always go to church, we'd come home. I don't remember what we ate for breakfast or anything, but I remember we'd had breakfast and then they'd put on KDIX radio, and they always had us like an hour of music, and just and mom and dad would dance around the kitchen, and they could dance. And now I don't remember ever going to Weeble. I know your mom does, remembers them dancing in Weeble, but I do not remember any of that. Um, I do know they got some prizes for dances because they would yeah, they would they would judge them over in Weeble and um they would win many times because they were they just glide across the floor. I didn't inherit that. Some of my brothers did though. My brothers can dance. I I cannot, yeah. Um another thing I remember about my mom was um I she lived with us for a couple of winters, if you remember, because then you didn't have her in beach, and I remember her missing you kids. Um, so she lived with us for I think it was two winters that she lived with us, and um we played lots of hand and foot, and we played um Pinochle, but it was two-handed pinockle. She taught me how to play it, and I remember she always would beat me. Her memory was so good she knew what cards I had and what she had. And I hardly knew what I had. But I remember one time Jerry was came home and we were playing Pinockle, and we said, We're just gonna finish this hand and we'll we'll eat. And he goes, Someday I'm gonna play and I'm gonna beat you, grandma. And she said, Well, you just do that, Jerry. I want you to play, and you can beat me. And so, anyway, he sat down to play, and uh the three of us were gonna play, and he beat us so bad. And she and grandma goes, Well, that was enough now. You can you can go. Oh, that's so funny. So, yeah, we had good times with her around the round.
SPEAKER_04You know, I do remember her being away, and I I still have the cards, she would send us cards and tell us what she likes. Oh, I saw deer, oh, you know, the window or whatever.
SPEAKER_02And so I still have those little cards that she I know Jerry put a feed bird feeder up in the yard for her, and then he bought her this book for Christmas that was all birds, and so she could look at the birds and try to find them, and she would always share with him at night what birds she had seen or whatever. So gave her something to do during the day, other than she cooked a lot of meals for us and washed our clothes, and you know, but it was the second winter, she was really, you could tell, was her heart was not up to par. She got tired a lot and she would sleep. And I know one time she fell in Central Butte, if you remember that. I think your mom took her to the hospital that time. Um, and I brought her then to my house to recover. And she was so funny, she was in the bedroom next to us, and she said, What am I gonna do when I have to go to the bathroom in the night? I said, We're gonna figure something out. I said, You could ring a bell, maybe if I had a bell. She said, No, I don't need a bell. And I remember her saying, you just get me a cup and a spoon, and I'll tap on the cup, and it'll make a noise, and then you can come. So that's that was our sing signal between the two of us. But yeah, she recovered at my house that time, and she she did so well. I just, I mean, that lady was a strong woman, a real trooper.
SPEAKER_04Oh, you know, I do remember seeing her in the hospital after that going and seeing she was so black and blue. So black and blue. I remember Jolyn was just getting done, and I was coming in, and I remember seeing Jolyn cry, and then I saw grandma and I started crying, and yeah, it's hard to see hard to see her so black and blue.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and yeah, she was really bruised up that time, and at her ankle, I think she's had a bad sprain on her ankle or something like because she couldn't really walk. If it was her ankle or knee or something, yeah. Yeah, and I think then we ended up finally getting smart and we got her a commode to sit right by the bed that she was able to use during the night, and she felt better about that. But yeah.
SPEAKER_04What about um your dad's fur coat? Oh tell me about the fur coat.
SPEAKER_02You know, I wonder what happened to that fur coat. I think I would have nightmares if I saw that fur coat. Um, it was one of those things that I don't even know where it came from, but it was so big and furry, and it just cuddled you when you were in it, because I remember putting it on. But the first time I ever saw it was when we were on the farm, and we had that. I'm sure some have talked about we had one little bedroom on the main floor, and that's usually where Dee slept. Um, I suppose because she was the oldest and whatever, she had a bed, and we thought it was a big bed. She and I talk about it. It's like no way it could have been a big bed. That room wasn't big enough for a big bed. But um, we would take turns sleeping with her. It was kind of like a treat. One of us girls could sleep with her. And I remembered every time I slept with her, Robert would put on this big fur coat and he would come around to the windows and he'd put it up over his head and over his ears, you know, and then he would come and put his face really fat, flat against the window and make noises. And in those days, the window, you know, was so thin that you could hear everything. But that always scared me. And then I remember Howard using it in beach. So the fur coat went along with us because I remember it was at the house where grandma and where we last lived, and Howard would use that thing to scare us. And I think he even used it on Halloween sometimes, but it was one of those things that I'd like to hear the stories from others if they remember it, because it sure traveled around that thing.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, that's did your mom ever talk about it? No, that's why I was like, You wish you asked for because I'm curious. What I just like I said, I just remember being afraid of it because I was a little girl and that thing at the window.
SPEAKER_03The imagination of kids, right? Yeah, right, exactly.
SPEAKER_04And now, before we get going on some other questions, you your full name is Sandra May, right? But everybody calls you Sandy, but it's spelled with an I. So explain why it's with an I.
SPEAKER_02Yes, my mom, it was Sandy with a Y when I was growing up, but then I had a brother-in-law, Lila's husband, who was Elmer, but everybody called him Sandy, and he spelled his with a Y. And I always thought I was named after him, and I wasn't, but I thought I was because we had the same name. I wanted it to look different than a boy's name. So I changed it to an I because I had seen it someplace. And, you know, kids, yeah, it was all in appearance, I guess. Um, so I changed it to an I because I didn't want to look like a boy's name. That's so funny. And my siblings today still use the Y. Oh, that's so funny.
SPEAKER_04No, you got you were talking about the farm. You grew up on the farm, correct? You guys did ranch. It was just farming.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, just farming.
SPEAKER_04And then at what age did you move into town?
SPEAKER_02We moved in the summer of I think it was 1954, because it was after my first grade year. I had I know I went to school one year in while we were on the farm because I remember riding in the car. Um, and my dad worked at um at that point, he was picking up some extra jobs, and he was working at a tire shop. And I think at that time, maybe it was two jobs, and I'm not sure. But anyway, I know he was at a tire shop because then when school was over, we would go to the tire shop, and there was a spot on that didn't have anything on the shelf, and we could sit there until he was done, and then we'd all drive home together. And I know that later then, Bachmeyer TV, I think it was called Bachmeyer's back then too. Um, but they had a TV radio shop, and he had a TV that was going all the time, and so he would let kids come in and sit, and he'd put on little rascals. And so we would sit and watch the little rascals. So until dad was done with work.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, I remember doing that.
SPEAKER_03I that's there a big group that I've not heard there's a I think there was more than just just me.
SPEAKER_02Somebody else had to be there because I remember other kids. So I don't know if it was my siblings or was it maybe other families that just had to wait? Thoughtful. Yeah. How thoughtful of him. Because I mean, we didn't stir, I'm sure. We were so in a lot of laughter because little rascals were just silly shenanigans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so he was a nice man that way.
SPEAKER_04No, what chores did you have growing up? When you when you lived at the farm, what were your chores?
SPEAKER_02I mean, you know, and I can't remember chores, but I know talking to my siblings, it sounded like Glennis and I had two jobs. One was to get water, and we had a pail that we'd only feel probably half full and carry that, and pick eggs. And there were certain eggs that we would pick, but there were also some that we didn't go by because some were mean. I can I remember them talking about the mean chickens chasing us. Um, but yeah, I think those were the only two jobs that I ever remember having. Okay.
SPEAKER_04What were you like growing up? Were you quiet? Were you outgoing? What would you say your personality was?
SPEAKER_02I think I was very, very shy. I mean, I don't know. I think Glennis was very talkative. I don't think Gloria was very talkative, but I think when you had so many people in the house, you kind of just, you know, you're the remaining quiet.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03You pick up on what everybody else is saying.
SPEAKER_02I I do remember, and I I was very much um, what would you say, a mama's baby? I like being by my mom a lot.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So well, and grandpa was so working oh different jobs at that time when you guys were out at the farm. Was he farming and working other times?
SPEAKER_02That's what I I was gonna ask some one of the siblings at the gathering we had the other day, because would have he been working already then when we moved, you know, because I mean the farm went under. We just lost it, you know. And um I I don't know the whole story. I know the older ones know the story behind how we lost it and there was some shady deals done or whatever. But um I think he probably already then was kind of working to yeah, to help supplement yeah, that transition or whatever. Right. Okay. But I do know that summer that that was traumatic because I just remember that was everything. It was our home, you know, and it's where you played. And I mean all your memories are all your memories were there, and I remember D D telling me that was one of the most traumatic times of her life was leaving the farm. Yeah, because I think she probably would have been like a sophomore in high school.
SPEAKER_04She is a little bit, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04What was school? How was school for you growing up? Did you enjoy school? Do you have a good class?
SPEAKER_02Um I remember not wanting to go to school. That I remember. I didn't want to leave home. I didn't know. Did you like leave my mom? Yeah. I didn't want to leave my mom. Um, I remember too that um you can imagine with so many kids in our family, no running water, outdoor toilet, you know. Um, I don't know even where mom washed clothes because it's it couldn't have been in the house. There was no place for a washing machine, you know. Uh we'd have a ringer washer, maybe she must have done it in a tub, I assume. But I think of how hard it must have been for her to maintain some kind of cleanliness and whatever in that home. But I remember first grade, I had Mrs. Miller, sweet lady, and I know she meant well, but she had this little picture of a schoolhouse, and she had all these windows, and they had little shutters on them. So the shutters and she had pictures, and I'm I'm sure it wasn't pictures of us, might be a maybe cut out of a catalog or something, like a picture of a girl, and it would have sandy underneath, and uh, you know, on with all the kids in the classroom. And her first thing in the morning is she'd walk around to every person, every student, look at your fingernails, look at your ears, and um, if your hair was combed and you had to have all these things nicely done, or she'd close the shutter on your picture. And I know she was trying to teach us to hygiene, yes, but I'm sure in my mind it was mean, you know, because I think I don't think my picture was open very often.
SPEAKER_03Really?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so I um I I have that memory, and I don't remember much about school. I do remember um at middle school, I well, it would have been middle grades, maybe fourth, fifth, sixth grade. We had a teacher, her name was Miss Lathrop. She wasn't married, and I don't even know where she came from, but what a sweet lady. Um she really liked grandma. And I remember her stopping us in the store and they'd visit and things, it was just like they were siblings almost. They would really carry on. So that kind of stuck with me. And another one was um my seventh and eighth grade year, we had um Johanna Hecker. Um, and she was the rodeo queen. Oh, okay. I think I heard Buster Schneider talk about that because we all we all liked, and the boys especially liked Miss Hecker. She was very pretty. She was tall, stately, well dressed, always, you know, she was the epitome of being a Miss Rodeo. You know, she do you ever think what caused her to come to Beach? I suppose just it was an opening at that time. Wow, you know, and she was from Battlefield, so you know, her family and Beach was really thriving.
SPEAKER_04Right. We were at that time. Yes.
SPEAKER_02And a lot of our teachers from Beach eventually went to Dickinson. It was kind of a step-off point where they would be to start.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, even some of the ones that I had.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like Irv Kessel um was in Beach originally. Uh Jensen, um I can't remember his first name, um, but Jesson, I should say. Uh they went and went on, they went to coach and whatever at DSU, you know, and teach at DSU. They were at Beach. Yeah. They started in Beach. Wow. So, and Irv Kessel was probably one of those teachers that really stood out in my mind. Um it was his first year, and I have visited with him since. And I said, I you made English fun. You know, he really did. And he said, Yeah, you don't know the story behind that. In those days, they hired you if you could coach. And teaching was secondary. He said, They knew I had some English, so I was stuck in English, but I I was hired to coach.
SPEAKER_04Oh, for right, and you really enjoyed him.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yes. He I told him, I said, you did a great job if you didn't have any background in that, because I remember him, you know, him doing that. Uh, another one that was really influential on me was Verona Wagley, but she she was Leckler. She married one a Leckler, but when she came, she was single. And um, she was our home act teacher, sweet, sweet gal. Um she I would say was the one who kind of developed some self-esteem in me. Because she taught me how to sew, and I guess I was good at it because she would always say when I'd finished something, I would like to buy that from you. And I didn't have any clothes, so it was like, I can't sell it. I need it, I need to wear this, you know. But um, it made me feel good, I'm sure, as a kid. And um the other thing was she um encouraged me to go out for cheering. And I mean, that was totally out of my comfort zone. Um, she said, you try out. She said, I think you'd be good at it. So then I did try out for cheering, and I did get to be a cheerleader, and that I think helped me.
SPEAKER_04And when you were in school, was that during the time when that was pretty much all you could do was cheerleading because there was no basketball when you were?
SPEAKER_02There weren't any really sports. Right. Yeah. So cheering was yeah. Okay, that was your one option. Yeah, that was an option, right? I really enjoyed that, made good friends with some of the gals that were cheerleaders with me and things. So I wanted really to be a home ec teacher then uh because Verona did such an awesome job, and I thought I could I could see myself doing that, but the only place you could go was Fargo, NDSU, and I certainly didn't have money for NDSU at that time, so I just thought I'll become a teacher.
SPEAKER_04I was not gonna be a nurse, and everybody else is a nurse.
SPEAKER_02Yes, sister-in-law, sisters, they were all nurses, and I I told mom, I cannot be. I think it was a lot to do with my dad when I saw how sick he was, and how I just couldn't imagine myself taking care of people that were so sick. Yeah, and so teaching worked out well for me. Yeah, it did.
SPEAKER_04What are some of your earliest memories from growing up? We're gonna go back just a little bit. Um, I know you had what about like playing with dolls? Did you guys do a lot of we did because dolls were big in your family?
SPEAKER_02Dolls were everybody loved the growth because mom loved dolls, yeah. Grandma loved dolls, grandma had dolls forever. I think she would make doll clothes. I remember for Jolynne and Amy and betting for their little cribs, and she loved doing them. Dolly clothes, yep, and Barbied clothes. She made a lot of Barbie clothes for them. Um, so her love of dolls passed on to us girls, and we really did. I mean, I took care of my dolls, they were precious to me. Yeah, um, I remember one year I got a nun doll um because I thought I was gonna be a nun. I also that was one of my dreams. But we had I don't know if you guys had it when you were still growing up, was um the summer school where the nuns would come and have like a vacation Bible school. Yes, like a vacation Bible school. Yes. And uh those nuns were amazing, they were so sweet. Did they play guitar for you too?
SPEAKER_04We had one nun that would like play guitar for you.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and they would run with us and play and dance around. Yeah, you just couldn't believe in their little garbs that it didn't stop them at all. No, no. So I thought one time I wanted to be a nun, so I think that's why mom got me the nun doll. And I still have that, it's in my China Hutch. Oh yeah, it wasn't one you played with. You looked at it. You looked at but the dolls, and I passed that love on to my girls, and like I say, grandma really nourished that love for them too.
SPEAKER_04Did you have a sibling that you were closest to, like when you were little?
SPEAKER_02I would say D, probably, because I think she was old enough where you kind of you know looked up to her because she was, you know, what you wanted to be.
SPEAKER_04You can kind of idolize those your older siblings.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yeah, at that time. And she was not afraid to get down in the dirt and play with us. And I think she instilled in us the love of make-believe. Um, she would use rocks, and I think she even talked about that in her interview, how she would use rocks for people, little baby pebbles were babies, and bigger ones were moms and dads, and um, you know, would very creative and build houses out of sticks and whatever, because the cool place in summer was in the trees. And so she would take us out there and teach us how to play there. Um uh Gloria was an influence on me too, though. Um she always helped. She was a helper, you know, and I I mean, and I don't know if I helped her or she helped me, but we worked together a lot, her and I.
SPEAKER_04Um because what's the age difference between you and Gloria?
SPEAKER_02Two years. There is two years, okay. So she would help me a lot, you know. I mean, the two of us together. I mean, even growing up, uh, in the house and beach that we were in, she and I would kind of took over the laundry. And I remember washing clothes in an old ringer machine, and then we'd hang them up in grandma's basement. If you remember seeing ropes going across, that's where we would hang the clothes to dry, um, especially in winter, you know. But um, and she Gloria always made sure that everything was pressed. I mean, she'd iron Howard's t-shirts, whatever. So it's underwear, yeah, right. The sheets, but she wanted she wanted Howard Darrell to look nice when he went to school. And so she really, I mean, she took a great interest in that and taught me how to do it also.
SPEAKER_04So, you know, and your generation can iron a shirt in about 30 seconds, whereas my generation were still like, how where do we put that onto the ironing board so we don't get a crease in the wrong spot?
SPEAKER_02And now they use it out. I'm like, what? And now the um steamers are yeah, you know, that's what my kids use. A lot of them use the steamers. I bought one and I can't make it work. I just figure, hey, you take them out of the dry room when they're partially dry, hang them up, you're good.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_04Talk to me a little bit about Glennis with polio. You're gonna probably know better than even my mom. My mom has some memories, but I think you're gonna probably know more. And I didn't ask everybody else about this.
SPEAKER_02So I don't what do you remember about Glennis when she had polio? I remember Glennis had a rough childhood because she had that polio. Um, I remember them doing surgery on her foot, and I remember she had on her toe a nail sticking out of her toe, and she could not bump that. And if she bumped that, she would cry so hard because I'm sure it hit a lot of nerves. They say your fingers, your appendages are sensitive. Yes, and so I do remember that. Um, can I ask what the foot surgery was? Was that before the polio? Polio, yes, because her foot was starting to curve. Okay, that's uh okay. Yeah, and so that was to straighten it out. Okay, and then of course, the time she fell out of the car, and I don't remember if that was before the polio or after the polio. I think it was before.
SPEAKER_04Okay, talk to me about she fell out of the car.
SPEAKER_02Yes, she uh you they always catered in my mind, they always catered to Glennis because she was the baby, and this was before Perry came along, but anyway, and maybe Perry was a baby, I don't know. But Glennis and I were old enough to fight. She wanted to be in the back seat. We were coming home, and I don't remember from where. She wanted to be in the backseat and sit on Dee's lap. And so she'd got to, and I had to sit up front with my mom. And as we were driving home in those old cars, the handle would just push down and the door would come open. It wasn't a lock on it, and I think she was probably playing with the handle and pushed down on it and the door opened, and she fell out. And Dee hollered. I remember Dee hollering, stop, stop, and her foot was dragging, trying to stop the car, and then Dee got dad slowed enough where Dee jumped out or something. She got to Glennis first. Um, she had a she was badly bruised and uh on her head, she had a lot of scoria embedded in her forehead. And I remember there was an old army blanket, I can still remember that. Mom put all the chairs together to make a bed in the kitchen, and um they tried to clean her up as much as they could, and then took her to the hospital right away. And I remember when she came home, she had to lay on that bed because they had to keep watch on her because after a head injury, I suppose, you know, at that time.
SPEAKER_04But was it her foot that was dragging from the car or was it D's foot?
SPEAKER_02D still has marks on her ankle, I think, from where the gravel was hitting. Yeah. So yeah, Glennis was lucky to be alive that that car didn't run over her, you know. But yeah, that was kind of a she might have only been how old then? Oh, she had to be maybe three, two, three years old. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, because what about Christmases? What do you remember about Christmases? I remember Christmas trees with so much tinsel because we'd pick it up forever afterwards. And I think some kids, some of the kids just threw it on when they get tired after putting it on piece by piece and just hand it and throw it. Um, I remember mom always decorated. She loved her decorations, as you know. She just the more lights the better, you know. And she didn't have much room, but the buffet was her decorating spot, and she put the manger set on there. And I still have that manger set from the farm. I I she was she said one day when I was in beach, she said, I don't know what to do with this. It's so old, should I just throw it? And I said, Yeah, throw it my way. So I took it and I when I am home for Christmas, I put it on the top shelf in my China hut. It's the little thing. But uh, it's funny because the wise men are triplets, they all look the same with Woolworth print on the bottom, you know. Um I'm sure she probably had to replace those along the way. I'm sure we played with them so much that they would, you know, we'd take them off and play with the stuff. But um, I do remember the decorations. And I still have the little silver reindeers that came with it that she would always take and she'd put them on the there was like a cotton or whatever that she'd put on the wall in the desk. And she would, yes, I don't know, and she'd tape these reindeers to it to make it look like they were flying through the air.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, she had the such cool um, she would hang a lot of decor from the ceilings. We I remember um her last Christmas, Joel and I went and helped her decorate. And of course, um we got to go for ice cream. That was a big thing at Dairy Queen. Big, big, big thing. Yep. And her talking about now when I die, we were like grandma, grandma, you're you know, and here that was her last Christmas. But I loved the that was back, you know, she obviously was older. So she would just do like the small Christmas tree, right? Uh was it the coffee table, or she put up a card table?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think she did a card table and put it.
SPEAKER_04But she would put a small tree on something. I think she even had a ceramic tree that she would do sometimes. Yes, she did that. And she always had, I put the white, it was just white, yeah, manger scene window claims. Oh, okay. Do you remember the white one? Just white and yeah, I love those still to this day if I ever find them.
SPEAKER_02Yep. She, but you're right. She decorated every corner of that house when she and the hardest part for her, she's always said was taking it down.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and not the truth, still to this day.
SPEAKER_02It's like still to this day, it's taking it down, right? But I so I do remember the Christmases like that with the decorating. I don't remember a lot about gifts. I remember we always were supposed to stay in our bedrooms till morning, you know. But there was always someone who would kind of peek open the door and say, Yeah, Santa came, you know. But um, I don't remember a lot of anything about gifts or anything. I do remember the stockings, us girls. Wore long white stockings, sometimes they were brown, with garter belts. And that and so we'd use those stockings because you could put a lot in there. But how dumb of us, because you know, mom didn't have that much to call us full sock. But um you would get hard candy. I never liked hard candy, and still to this day do not like hard, but ribbon, yeah. I'd give it away. Uh I'd give it to the other cute, whoever wanted it. Um, an apple or an orange, we would get a lot of nuts. And then we always had that nutcracker and things like that that we would um so I remember the nuts. I like those, but uh as far as gifts, no, I don't recall a lot of gifts that I ever got. Was grandma really into like the Christmas music?
SPEAKER_04Oh, yes, she loved her Christmas music because I do remember that, and my mom was very into Christmas music, and we are all very into Christmas music casting.
SPEAKER_02So I didn't know if oh I as soon as I can start it in November, I do.
SPEAKER_01Wait till November? That's really sad.
SPEAKER_02I might have to start sooner, though.
SPEAKER_03Sometimes we're like it's October 1st. It's totally okay to listen to Christmas music.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So she did have that level.
SPEAKER_02She loved it. She loved her Christmas music. Yeah, she liked any kind of music, really. And she was good, you know, she could play by ear. Yeah, her piano skills were really good. Yes, and uh that piano brought a lot of memories back, you know, to people when they would see it or whatever. Um I used it a lot. I she had me take lessons. I was not a pianist, I just could not learn. And I remember the lady worked so hard with me, but I'm sure I didn't practice enough either, maybe.
SPEAKER_03But that's a lot of us when we're young, right? There's other things to do that we enjoy.
SPEAKER_02Mom spent money on that, and you know, she really wanted us to learn how. That was that was important. Yes, just do that. Um, but I use the piano for paper dolls. The place where you put your music and you pull it out, I would cut paper dolls out of the Spiegel and Sears catalog and um make families and furniture and whatever. I cut everything out of that catalog that I could because I loved paper dolls, playing with those. And you know.
SPEAKER_04So did grandma teach you to do that or did Dee?
SPEAKER_02I'm sure mom did.
SPEAKER_04Because that was big even period. My mom loved paper dolls, and we would play paper dolls.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And the thing is, you wanted to get the paper out of the books before they went to the outhouse. Yes. Because you wanted to cut your favorite things out.
SPEAKER_04Yes. Uh, how about birthdays? Were they big celebrations for you? Were they pretty simple?
SPEAKER_02They were pretty simple. I I think we did cakes. I don't remember any gifts. Um, and I'm sure mom probably got us gifts, but I don't recall any. But I do remember always having a cake.
SPEAKER_04Um well, she was an a she could cook and she could bake as well.
SPEAKER_02Yep, and make stuff out of anything. You know, anything. Anything. The one birthday that I remembered because I was older was my senior year. Uh it was year that May of my senior year. She and Glennis surprised me with the birthday party on my 18th birthday. And I often, I like I told Glennis, how in the world did you guys do that? She couldn't, mom couldn't afford anything. Yeah, and yet she put together a meal for the girls in my class. And I remember we had her hot dish with the mashed potatoes on top. Okay. You know, her traditional hot dish. I remember the jello and corn and then birthday cake. But and she had all those girls down, and I have a picture of me with it. And I we had a ball game that night, and so my hair was curled in rollers. Remember how you wore those big rolls or how we wore those big rollers? And so I'm at the birthday celebration. There they took a picture of us with all the girls and me and my big rollers in my eye. Well, because you didn't know about it. No, it was all a surprise. They I'm surprised Glennis could keep it quiet. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So, what did you do for fun growing up? Other than playing dolls? Were there some other things that you all did for fun?
SPEAKER_02Well, in Beach, um, we did a lot of playing at that church playground across the road. Across the street, the Seventh-day Adventist Church. There were people that lived in the apartments up there on that hill behind those. Um I think uh there was a Porter family, I think Kathy Porter. Um the Gamroths lived beside us, and they had four or five kids. And then Carol Schefford lived across from the church, and it was a little house. I don't know if it's still there even, but it was a little house up a ways, and that was um Herman and Evelyn Schefford lived there, and their daughter Carol was, I want to say she was either a year ahead of me or a year behind me. I'm not sure. But um, we she and I played a lot together. Her mom, and I don't know what her mom did, but if you remember, they were carbon copies of what before we had computers and everything. If you went to the store, they would write your things down that you bought and they would give you one and they would keep one. It was a carbon copy pad kind of thing. Well, her mom, wherever she worked, had all kinds of these things. And so she gave them to Carol and I to play with. And we made file cabinets out of boxes and we put these things like you were a secretary. And we played hours with that. I I think of you know, something so silly. But we did, we spent hours doing that, being creative with it, yeah. Um jumping rope, uh, anti-I over, where you line up kids and you say send so-and-so right over, and they try to break through your arms. Oh, the red rover, red rover. Yes, I said anti-over. It's red rover. The one over the house. Yes, and gamros on the other side, and we would kick it over our barn. We had the barn at the time before Perry burned it down, but that's where we would play anti-yeover over there. Um, so we did a lot with that kind of thing. But um a lot of in the summer, most of my family went swimming. I hated water. I did you ever learn to swim? No, I have never learned to swim. Okay. I do not like water at all. So when we go on a boat, I have a life jacket.
SPEAKER_04I was just gonna say, but you do a lot of fishing and stuff.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they fish. I I sit on the side, I don't fish.
SPEAKER_04You don't fish.
SPEAKER_02I used to fish in a boat, but I like that kind of fishing. I don't like fly fishing, but I do like regular fishing. But I never like to swim. I remember Glenn's swam so much, her hair would turn green because she had blonde hair. Yes, and she would get just green. So much chlorine and all the chemicals in there. Yeah, yeah. They spent a lot of time there. The ice skating rink. I love to ice skate, so I did do that in the winter. I remember it being so cold, but still we would go and do it.
SPEAKER_04It was so big. I mean, even when I was little, it was so it was busy a lot. Yeah. Playing crack the whip. Yep. Definitely probably had a concussion from that.
SPEAKER_02Don't recommend. But we played that crack the whip too, and I never wanted to be on the end. It was like I wasn't good enough to be on the end.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you definitely did not want to be on the end.
SPEAKER_04I have memories of passing out and looking up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, that uh that skating rinks awesome days, but yeah, that was a big gathering spot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it was it really was the warming house. It really kept it up really nice. Yeah, see, in my day it was just, I think they had just started the warming house. So they had an old fire, like coal bin, coal fire in there, is what we had.
SPEAKER_04I don't know what did they use in dirty. I don't even remember. I just remember going in and warming warming up because it was sit on the bench, yeah. Sit at the bench, benches, yeah. Yes. Um, so you did you got to do some cheerleading, you said, but no other sports because they didn't really have those at the time. We talked about your teachers. Were there any favorite subjects that you enjoyed?
SPEAKER_02Home Mac. Home Mac was the one. Even more than the English. Mm-hmm. I did. Well, and since I couldn't be homeak, then I went to the English because I like to read.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I probably more the literature than the English part of it that drew me in. Yeah. And I liked sports, but I was never, you know. So when I went to college, they had um women's rec league, and you could play basketball and uh badminton, and I don't remember what else, but I know remember those two. And so we you would play those on Wednesday or Thursday nights, they would open the gym and have a women's rec league. And I thought, you know what, this is something I could teach, you know. So then I thought, well, English and PE. So that's what I ended up in. Wow.
SPEAKER_04Did you okay? Well, let's get into that in just a second. Um, we could talk. When you went to college to become a teacher, was it four years or two years at the time? It was four years. It was four years at the time.
SPEAKER_02It was four years at that time. I know when um my Aunt Olive's daughters, um, Marlon and Charlotte, were in college, that was a two-year thing. Yeah. Yeah. Because I know they they came and they had to do some testing on Glennis and I. And um uh I don't remember what they did. It was something for one of their classes, and so they had Glennis and I do these little tests. Well, Glennis just whizzed right on through them, and she was a year younger than me. Oh, geez. And I sat there and struggled and struggled. She was so she was as sharp as a whip, I tell you. Glennis was very, very good at school.
SPEAKER_04And this was you did college at DSU then?
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_04Okay, DSU.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, four years there.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_04We'll get back to that too. Okay. Um, because I want you to visit a little bit about what you remember around grandpa's death and his sickness leading up to his passing. Do you remember much?
SPEAKER_02I don't remember a lot. There's some things that stand out in my mind. I remember him being very sick. I remember him sitting by the stove. We had an old heater stove, um, which would have been by that middle bedroom that you know about. There was a stove there and there was a chair there. And he would sit by that stove a lot and um try to smoke his cigarette with his shaky hands, you know, and things. And uh, so I remember that. I have that vision of him. Um, I remember the last meal my mom made for him. Um, she said, we're all gonna have supper tonight at the table, and daddy's gonna join us. And I don't remember if he ate, you know, I remember him her bringing him out and sitting him in the mid one on the side in the middle. And but I I don't remember. I can tell you we had hamburger goulash, yeah, and jello and corn. Those were I used to go to. Um, but I remember that. That was the last time he came to the table. Um, I remember Leonard, I remember Leonard making him malts um because the rest of us would go off to school or off to work or whatever. And um probably off to work or school, I mean, but and he would stay home and take care of daddy, really. And he was like four or five years old. So um because grandma had to work. Because grandma had to work. Yep, it was the only income we had.
SPEAKER_04And do you think that? I mean, obviously that had to be so hard on her. I I oftentimes there are days where if you don't want to go to work, you're like, grandma had to do this and support how many kids, and you know, right, but that had to have been so hard at this point in my life to look at that and say, her husband was dying, and you couldn't even sit there and take care of him because you had to go, you had to leave, and you had to leave Leonard to help. And he's a baby, basically. He is a baby, yeah. And you had to go and spend your time trying to make an income to support the family. Well, really, what you want to do is care for him and give him, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it was a I'm sure it had to be a but yet she never complained. I I don't remember her ever saying, you know, anything negative about the situation. I really don't. Maybe she did to the older ones, I don't know, but I never ever heard her say anything. I mean, it's just you had to do what you had to do, and you just did it. Um, but yeah, it's I know that I think the younger ones, it probably even affected more. I remember the day they took him uh to Dickinson to the hospital, because it was on um it was in April, and we were having what was called the mother-daughter tea, and the home ec department would put it on, and we'd use the prom as the backdrop, you know, and um you'd model clothes that you had made, or you know, if you made pillows or whatever you did, it was all on display. And um, we would make bars and serve coffee and bars with to our mothers that and so mom had gone that day with daddy to Dickinson, and Wes and Byron took him, and Lila was home, and so she said, I'm gonna stay home and I'll go for with Sandy. And so um I I know Gloria had to be part of it. I was a freshman, so I know Gloria had to be, but I don't recall her being in it. But I it what the reason it stood out in my mind is I had sewn, well, there's Bonnie and Wes had five girls at that time, and she and I made them Easter suits, and they were all in pastel colors blue, green, pink, yellow, whatever. And I made three of them and she made two of them, and then and I did them at home at class and at nights, whatever. Um, but anyway, those five little girls then modeled with me, and I just remember that was I was so proud of them. They were so good that day. Not always good, but that day they were, and um, so that stood out in my mind.
SPEAKER_04So you said Wes had taken grandpa to the hospital. So he obviously was not there. Did Bonnie drop?
SPEAKER_02Bonnie Bonnie came to the home because she helped me get them ready. I remember her on the backstage helping me get them all situated to walk out with me. So it was five little girls and all different colored outfits. They were pretty precious at that time.
SPEAKER_04At that time, they grew out of that. No, I'm just kidding. We all grow up. We all grow out of it. What do you remember hearing the news?
SPEAKER_02Who told you? Do you remember where you were at hearing the news? I remember exactly. I was at Bonnie and Wes's, I was sleeping on their couch, and Bonnie came and handed me a rosary and said, Daddy just died. You might want to pray the rosary. And I'm sure I didn't pray the rosary. I'm sure I just sat there and, you know, and cried a lot. But um I remember then that next day I had bought material to make a suit for myself. And I remember telling Bonnie, I I want to make that so I can wear it to the funeral. And so I had a week, five days maybe was what it was. But I sewed that suit in those five days. So it was blue. I remember the color, I remember kind of how the fabric was and everything, but I made that suit and I wore it to that funeral. And I and I only remember Mrs. Christensen, she was the librarian at the time, and she came. We were all sitting in the front row, and I know she came and put her hand on each of us and said, All you can do is pray. All you can do is pray. All you can do is she went to each one, you know, um, but very kind.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know, of course. What else do you say?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what else do you say to a family? Yeah, yeah. I know there was um when we went to the funeral then. I know there was a lady that said something um to that Gloria and I heard, and it was that I can't believe what is that lady, or something like what is that lady gonna do with eight kids, you know, or seven, I think it was at that time there were seven of us at something about what is she gonna do with seven kids at home? And it was like, what do you mean? We're gonna continue to live.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you know, but and everybody pitched in. I mean, they you all really had to pitch in, and it was well, grandma worked her tail off.
SPEAKER_02Right. And Howard, I remember, if if I remember right, I think he even went part-time to school and part-time work um to help the family. And I think Wes got him the job at Rowland's or whatever, and he was helping there, and that's why it took him another year to graduate. But I give him credit, man. He went back and he got that degree. Yeah. So I was pretty proud of him for doing that. But those are, you know, yeah, I don't otherwise I don't remember a lot. I mean, I know there was um, it was hard on because there were older siblings and younger siblings. And how do you, you know, if your parents die, there's some things you want and you treasure. And so, but I think what the older ones didn't realize at the time is those things we also treasured, and they just didn't think. Like Lila said, would have I would have never taken anything had I thought it was something you kids wanted, you know. And I said, probably we didn't even know we wanted it, yeah, you know, at that point, but we just saw you taking stuff, and we felt like some was being ripped away, yeah, you know, and so you know, like I said, I they didn't realize what they were doing at that time. But yeah, traumatic time, but we grandma pulled us all together and we lived happily ever after.
SPEAKER_04Yes. Um, and we'll we'll talk even more about grandma and some of those other ones, uh, the older five, because they are all passed away now. And one of the things that I didn't realize we were talking before that, you know, I had interviewed my mom and Howard, and once I got after them, I was like, why am I not asking them to share more of the memories that they have of the older five? Because I obviously cannot interview them. Right. So it was kind of a nice to learn even more about the older five, the things that um to remember them by. Uh, any vacations that you took as a kid? Do you remember any?
SPEAKER_02I know we went to South Dakota. I remember going to a little cabin down there, and I remember walking in the water, there was a little creek or something, and going to the fish hatcheries that were down there. Um, but really, I I know we were packed in the car. Um, I think Dee took us that one year, and I remember um one of the kids laid in the back window of the car because there wasn't room. And every time we thought there would be a policeman or state troopers or whatever they were called at that time, we would hide Cheryl and Leonard on the floor because it you shouldn't have that many people in a vehicle at one time. Yeah, but I remember it mom saying, get down, get down, and so then they would get down. But I it was good times. I do remember good times, but I don't remember exactly what we did. But yeah, yeah, just little cabins. And then I know there were trips to California.
SPEAKER_04I never went, I was always working, and I do remember you saying that you remember a lot of um, if I'm remembering correctly, I think it was you that had mentioned getting in the back of a truck, potato to go pick potatoes. Was that after grandpa passed away? Was that before?
SPEAKER_02That was after grandpa passed. Yes. Well, no, it was while he was still living because I know I wasn't in high school yet. Okay. And this Rysler, Ron Rysler, I think Ron, I don't remember. Debbie O'Brien, do you know her? Okay. The dental hygienist. Oh, okay. Yes, it's her family that we worked for because she and I have talked about it before. Um, I said those were some good memories because when we worked for Ricelers picking potatoes. We got baloney sandwiches every afternoon for lunch. They fed us. And I said, I remember the baloney sandwiches. I'm sure I told Debbie, I'm sure your mom fed us something else also, but we never got baloney sandwiches, and those were so awesome. Yeah. Because my mom remembers just nannies sandwiches.
SPEAKER_04You brought it in Manny's, but she didn't do the potato picking. So that you're you're saying baloney that probably wasn't.
SPEAKER_02Baloney was a big thing, yes. And I remember they would come by and pick us up at the house in a truck. You'd climb in the back of a it was an open truck, just like a feeder or grain truck. And um it was always, I look back at it now and think how silly. But uh Gloria and I would ride it. I remember her and I, I don't remember Glennus going, but I remember Gloria and I and Daryl going. And Gloria and I, it would be bouncing on that road out to Rysler's farm. We held our breaths because we hurt so bad all the way out there. I told Gloria one day, I said, you know what makes me wonder, did we not have rocks in those days? Or couldn't we afford them? Maybe that was more good to board it. We said, but she too remembers bouncing along on those trucks and how cold it was picking potatoes. But you know, it was that was it always in the fall that you in October usually. Okay, yeah, that we would go and it was cold, you know, it'd be cool days, and you know, the soil would probably be damp and you know, whatever, but really cold. Yes, yeah, your fingers and your toes got so cold, and I'm sure we didn't have the right kind of clothing, you know, either. That would would have helped. Wouldn't have hurt. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah. Um, how about babysitting? My mom was saying you babysat for Wes and Bonnie, but also the future governor's kids.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I did. Um, well, I basically lived a lot with Bonnie and Wes when their kids were young. And I think it was one less mouth to feed for mom and help for her, for Bonnie. But um, Bonnie was so good to me. She, I in fact, I was telling Tina the other day, I said, your mom and I would get your kids all ready for bed, bathe them all, dry them, jamies on, put them to bed, and then she, and like if it was a Saturday night, she would make either a pan of divinity, a kettle of divinity or fudge or something like that. And she and I would sit with the kettle and watch bonanza or um, what was the other one we watched? I know bonanza was one of them, but anyway, we would sit and watch those um and eat that. I said, No wonder I was putting on weight. I said, all those sweets. You've always been those so thin, though. So it's funny that I'm like, how are you not bigger? Yeah, it was funny. I mean, but I looked back, I said she was so good uh to me. She and they didn't pay me cash, but they bought me clothes. I remember getting winter coats, hats, gloves from them. So yeah. And Bonnie was a stay-at-home mom. Yes, and well, she worked at MDU some, and I can't remember when she started that, but when I was young, she was at home with the kids.
SPEAKER_04And Wes was more, um, if I remember correctly, he did a lot of like an original May Take Man in a sense. Yes, he worked for Rowan Hardware, yes, and did tons of repairs, and but he also would do flooring, he could do flooring, roofing, or whatever. I mean kind of a jack-of-all traits, right?
SPEAKER_02Yes, he was very valuable to Rowan hardware. I mean, he did about everything and anything there, and so I think that's where a lot of you know, he would work and he would get Christmas gifts, then you know, two for people. Because I remember I I still have it. It was for my wedding, he he and Bonnie gave me uh one of those electric can openers, and I still to this day have it, and it works like a charm. I said, they just and you know, that's what 56 years now? It's 57 years. It's still working, and it's still working. I know kids laugh at it because there's a chunk off the side and whatever. I said, I'm not getting rid of it until it dies.
SPEAKER_04Right, which is hopefully never. What about the the governor's kids?
SPEAKER_02Well, that was through Medora. I worked at Medora the summer of my after I graduated from high school, I went to work in Medora. And there were five of us girls that worked in Medorah. Um, there was two Nissler girls, Mary Jane and Phyllis, and then Janice Sadera and Piles Finneman. We called her Piles, and I don't know what her real name was even, but anyway, that was her nickname. And um, they had vehicles. I didn't, so I always rode with them and they took turns driving. But we always had to be on the road by 4, 4:15 in the morning, and we worked the early shifts in Madora. And the second year I was there, well, and then that winter I worked to Midorah, Bobby White, um, she'd be Bobby Olstead now. Um, I stayed with her, she went to DSU, and she and I would go to her house for the weekends, and we'd worked at the Rough Rider on the weekends because they'd have hunters and whatever coming through. So she and I would do that. Um, and then the following summer I worked there, but for some reason they thought I was good enough to be the hostess, so I didn't have to waitress. I was a hostess that summer. And um I got to know um, well, Ed Schaefer and his wife at that time, his wife, and I it's funny, I can't remember her name, but I remember his name. Yeah. But um, she became very friendly with me at times and she'd come through the restaurant. And one day she asked me if I would babysit for they had two children, so I did. And then one time she asked me if I would go to Bismarck with her to babysit, and she they had some kind of conference or whatever in Bismarck. So I rode down with her to Bismarck, and you know, this little girl that hasn't been off the farm, you might say, and we went to stay at Ed and Shyla uh Schaefer's house, and it to me it was a mansion. I mean, it was a gorgeous, gorgeous home. And I just felt so uneasy, so hot a place, you know. Um, they had a daughter, Ed's well, been a stepsister of his, was there, and she got up that Saturday morning, she came out and she had, you know, how you wear those eye, what are the blinders like whatever? She came out with one on her head and said hi or something and walked through the kitchen. And I thought, that's what wealthy people do. If you're rich, you can have one of those. Oh my goodness. You but I could have sold one of those. I could have. But anyway, yeah. So I did get to do that one time. That was interesting. But so I'm gonna do it.
SPEAKER_04I enjoyed the family.
SPEAKER_02What's that?
SPEAKER_04The sheafers, you enjoyed the family.
SPEAKER_02They were yeah, they were very nice people. Ed and Shyla were awesome people, they treated everybody just like family. I mean, they were very nice to all of us down there. Ed, their son, though, when he took it over the second summer after um forgot his dad, his dad was it, yeah, also. But um, when his son took it over that summer, he took all our tips away. We couldn't take tips. And if you did get tips, you had to put them in a can on the shelf. And um a lot of us lived on our tips. That was big, you know. Well, when people found out because there were signs on the table, no tipping. Well, I remember Dr. Bush and his family came there and I waited on them that one time. And um, when they were leaving, he uh motioned for me to come by the door. It was in the Rough Rider Hotel, and there were big doors that opened. Um, he motioned to me to come and I he said, Come here. And I stepped outside and he put $20 in my hand at that time. $20 was like probably getting a hundred now. But he said, and you keep that. He said, put it in your pocket, that's for you. And um, so anyway, that was devastating to many of us because that was money that and Ed would come in and take that can of money and taunt us with it. I'm off to the bar, thanks, girls, and off go. And I'm sure he didn't, but you know, he would always act like that. But um what did they do with the tip money then? That was it was to betterment of Madora. You know, so but you know, when I say Dr. Bush, I don't know if anyone else has mentioned that was a man that was unbelievably generous. I I mean the house that Leonard is living in now, that Dr. Bush got From O. And when we first moved there, that's he got that house for her. And so we always said it was paid for twice because Dr. Bush bought it, and then when she died, we had to pay the government for it. Um yeah, they charged $20,000 for that house that year when she died, because when she was when dad was sick, mom went on welfare. Um, and I think it was just called welfare at that time. And they kept track of everything. It's kind of like Medicaid today, I think, because in Medicaid, I think they have to pay it back also, um, if I remember right. But welfare, they told me when I was doing her estate, you have to pay it back. And so whatever she had had to be sold, and then you know, give them the money. So the I told them the only thing she had was a house. I said, There's not much inside, some junk. Yeah, you know, I said, I don't know what you're gonna do with that, but I said, I can sell the house, and so that's what they told me to do, and I had to get it appraised and sell it, and Leonard paid 20,000 for it. And so we I say the house was bought twice. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_04But yeah, what um um I've heard so many stories about Dr. Bush, so many stories about Dr. Bush. Um, and all amazing things like that. Things that he was not just a doctor, he really was such a like a pillar of of the beach community and just helped so many people.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you just don't even know until you talk to some yeah, you never knew because he didn't kind of this angel, exactly he didn't broadcast what he did. Brought, I remember him bringing sacks of potatoes or flour or sugar or whatever to the house, you know. You just drop it off and not say much and off he go. And I remember him having us come to his house up on the hill there. He had a big building, and I think it's probably destroyed by now, but it was a gorgeous building, was hardwood inside, it was all hardwood and stain and beautiful building on the inside. But on Saturday was the 70 Adventist Church Day. Yeah, and so when they would get out of church, they would ask Father Dr. Bush would say, Do you want to come to the house and do some crafts? And so he would, and I know I went, I'm sure Glennis probably did, but we'd go up there, and that house was so beautiful to us, you know. And he would have papers out there that you could color and do things. I'd I mean, I don't know how long we did that, but I do remember doing that. And he would take us, it was be after church. Wow that he would take us up there.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, because that and that wasn't too far even from where I mean, really, it wasn't all that far from where you guys lived.
SPEAKER_02So he would drive us up there and take us back home, you know. And mom trusted him, so that was you know, he was a good man.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, well uh when did he pass away? How do you know? Uh I've heard just so many stories about him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I I don't recall when he passed away, but what a loss to the people, yeah, you know, a beach that really treasured him.
SPEAKER_04How about Bobby Olstead? Your friend Bobby. I any stories about her?
SPEAKER_02No, not really. She and I were good friends uh in high school and in college. Um, we've since drifted apart. She went her way, I went mine. Um, but I know she and I uh did prom together one year. Uh we went with a couple of guys that were very shy and didn't, you know, and I I know we went to uh Bobby lived in town at an apartment because she was um for school, they didn't drive back and forth. So I don't know who she lived with. I can't even remember anymore. But I do remember going to the prom with her and a couple of guys that was, you know, but she and I worked together in Midorah for a long time. Um I don't remember any juicy stories about her. She was oh, I did interview her, but I haven't released her interview yet.
SPEAKER_03So it was okay.
SPEAKER_02They lived next to the um cave bar, and um, it was when I was dating Jerry, and anyway, uh he came to pick me up one day at Bobby's, and her mom was there, and she was sitting out on the patio or out in the yard, and Jerry came and she said, Jerry, you want to go have a beer before you go? And he said, Sure. So she and Jerry went to the cave bar and had a beer. Bobby and I couldn't go because we weren't old enough. Her mom was very nice, lady.
SPEAKER_01Very nice, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Do you remember other than Eustane wanting to be a um home ac teacher, was there anything else that you wanted to be when you grew up?
SPEAKER_02Other than a nun, like I said, and I I I would have made a horrible nun. I would not have been good at that. But no, I think teaching and uh, you know, I knew what I didn't want to do. That was nursing, and you know, I didn't want to I wanted to be a teacher.
SPEAKER_04I feel like um back then it was teaching. Yes, or nursing.
SPEAKER_02There wasn't or a secretary, yeah, yeah, work at a bank, you know, a lot of options like yeah, you didn't have a lot of choices in those days.
SPEAKER_04Who do you feel like in your family influenced you the most while you were growing up?
SPEAKER_02I would say D.
unknownD.
SPEAKER_02Probably. And in what way? Um, she just I I idolized her because, you know, first of all, she did so much with us at the farm, played with us, but also her family, when she came to beach and she had those little children, and you know, they were always dressed so immaculate, she always had such cute clothes on, and I always wanted to be a mom and be able to have children and do what she did. Yeah, but that would probably be the one. Gloria, like I said, she was the one that I remember um she got her nursing, you know, when she was in Aberdeen. She and I um I would go down there and visit her. And when I was getting married, I know I went down and she helped me buy my wedding dress because mom couldn't afford it. And so I know Gloria paid part of it. And then in those days you could take out loans pretty easily. So I went to the bank and got a loan to get married on.
SPEAKER_01To get married on.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Wow. So in those days they didn't let you do that, you know.
SPEAKER_04Were they were they low interest rates at that time?
SPEAKER_02I don't even remember. You don't remember they had to be low, I'm sure, at that time. So how did you how did you meet Jerry? Our freshman year at college, or my freshman year, he was a junior in college, and he was having a house party, I suppose you'd say, yeah, at his house. And it was right across from the dorm that where I lived. And a gal that was trying to get me to pledge of sorority was his neighbor. And so she asked me to go to this party with him, with her, and then I met him that night and kind of started to he kind of pursued me and then I pursued him, and I guess that's okay.
SPEAKER_04So you were you interested first or was he interested first?
SPEAKER_02I probably was interested first. I'll say that because he had a girlfriend. Oh, yeah, yes. Okay, yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_04So eventually he breaks up with this girlfriend. Does he ask you out?
SPEAKER_02Yes, he asked me out when he was still dating this girlfriend. Oh, you know, it was kind of a he kind of laughs about it now. But uh at that time, I had a good friend that I met in college right away, and her name was Sue. And Sue's cousin was the girl he was dating. And so she's Sue said, um she wanted me to get together with Jerry. So um she said, Connie's not his type. So she said, you'd be better. But anyway, I remember her pulling shenanigans. One time she took me to the drive-in theater. She said, because she knew what Connie was doing. So Connie and Jerry were going to the drive-in movie. So Sue and I went to the drive-in movie, and we parked like two cars over from that. And Sue was driving, so she sat with her body turned towards the passenger door so she could look right at Jerry. He was so uncomfortable. He he always says that. You girls were so mean.
SPEAKER_01It all worked out.
SPEAKER_02It all worked out. It all worked out in the end. That's so how did he ask you out? I I'm sure probably to some teat thing because he was a fraternity guy. And so we probably went to something that they had. I don't remember a lot of my dating even.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Well, tell me about Jerry. How would you describe him?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I I thought he was very good looking. He was a small man, very quiet, and those are kind of attributes that I look for. Somebody that wasn't loud and boisterous, very polite, he was. And I don't know, just a good good person.
SPEAKER_04If anybody who's listening to this has met Jerry, he's probably one of the nicest, best guys you'll ever meet. Because I remember even playing basketball games in South Heart, and he would like give me, bring me to the principal's office when he was principal, or you know, things like that. Just always makes everybody feel very at home. I feel like very comfortable. And that's yeah. Oh, and grandma just loved Jerry because he was such a he he is such a good man.
SPEAKER_02So well, I remember when we when I first, because it was I met him in my freshman year, and it was the beginning of my junior year, that he graduated in November and went to teach in Flasher. And he was all alone down there. He and he was a very much a family man, very close to his mom. And he called me. Well, we call every day and whatever. And one day he called and he goes, Um, I am so lonely down here, I hate it. He said, Could we get married? And that and he often says, I wish I could go back and change how I proposed to you. I said, I still remember it. Could we get married? And it was like, Yeah, I guess so.
SPEAKER_04And that was how we proposed to.
SPEAKER_02That's how we, yeah, yeah. And so that was in November, right after Thanksgiving. And he said, But I want to get married right now so you can come here because I don't want to live here alone. And so, I mean, we had a month to plan our wedding. You did so he asked you, and you did get married the next day. We got married on January 3rd. Wow, okay. So, and so Bonnie went with me. We bought the fabric for the girls' dress. Bonnie sold all the bridesmaids' dresses. Um, they brought pink velvet or whatever, and that was hard to sew on. I told her, I said, how dumb were we when we picked that out and buy velvet that slides when you sew. Um, but she sewed that, she sewed the head pieces, you know. I went to Aberdeen right away. Gloria helped me pick out a dress and she paid for half, and I paid for half. And um then at the um the week before the wedding, I went down to uh beach because I had in those days you had to provide the food for the meal. So we got married in the morning, which was traditional. You had to get married before noon for some reason, Catholic doings. Um, so we got married that morning, and then I had to make sure that the guild had the food and they would prepare the meal. And so So I had gone to beach the week before just to buy the hamburger and the whatever I needed because we were going to have hamburger goulash and um corn and shell, you know, the traditional and buns. And so I had gone to beach to get buy food and whatever and get meet with the ladies. And I was, I don't know, at the house, and we the phone rang and I answered it, and it was Dr. Bush. And he said, Your mom had a heart attack. And it was like, What? You know, is she alive? I remember asking, is she alive? And he said, Yes, she's going to be okay, but you should come and see her. So I went to the hospital right away. And I remember I drove her old, she had that pink and white car. It was kind of pinkish salmon colored with a white top on it. And I drove that up to the hospital. And I don't know how I got to beach because I didn't have a license yet. I didn't have a license till I was married. I hated, I didn't want to drive. So I went up to the hospital, and I remember her telling me, you, I said, I'm not getting married. She said, you are getting married, and don't do this to me. You gotta get married. And so um, anyway, I said, Well, I'll go meet with the ladies and I'll let you know. So then um she ended up staying in the hospital the whole time. You know, she was she didn't make it to my wedding, and so my wedding is a blur. Yeah, you know, it really was.
SPEAKER_04So she so that was, yeah, she didn't wasn't able to make it. So who walked you down the aisle? Wes. Wes did. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Wes walked me down the aisle.
SPEAKER_04And how old were you when you got married?
SPEAKER_02I was 20. You were 20. That was common in those days. We got you married so young. Yeah, I I mean, we think back what and Jerry and I have often said, even later, you know, we should have just called off the wedding. But it was a week away. How do you do what do you do? You know, because I wanted to go home and take care of the kids, you know. And I remember just praying to God, you gotta let her live because she's got three kids at home.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02So Perry, Cheryl, and Leonard were still at home, yeah, you know, and needed her. They really needed her. So yeah, that was my wedding day, was a was a sad day.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Was it a big I mean, I'm assuming it wasn't a very big wedding because it was only a month.
SPEAKER_02It was but it was a big wedding because yeah, it was a big wedding because all the stockholes have a lot of people, and the Perdameses did. And Perdameses are very well known in the South Art area, so it was more probably that group, and then our college friends, you know. Did you get married in Beach? Yes. So we got married in at I think it was 10, 10:30 in the morning, had dinner in Beach and wedding cake, and then we went to Dickinson, had pictures at Osbourne Studio because you didn't have a photographer in those days. Um, so went to Osborne Studio, had photos taken there. Then we went to the KC Club and we had supper and a dance and more wedding, another wedding cake. It was like it was well, you guys were able to plan a lot like at full D. His mom was amazing too. Yeah. She his mom, she kind of liked me. Yeah, she did. She Jerry even says she told me that you were better, a better choice than Connie. And I said, Well, that was nice of her. Glad she approved.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Now, how many kids do you guys have?
SPEAKER_02We have three. Jo Lynn um is 56, I think. I had to look that up. Isn't that terrible? Well, no, that just doesn't seem possible. Yeah, I know. It was like, uh no, she's got to be in her 50s because the other two are in their 50s. But um, yeah, she's 56. Amy is Amy Joel is 51, and GJ is 50. Okay. So now did you say so? How old were you when you had Joel in? I was well, I had just turned 21. Okay. Because I got pregnant right away, and she was born nine months later.
SPEAKER_04So did you because you said you got married at 20, so you were just like uh just the beginning of your soft or junior year? Yes, it was beginning of my junior year. Did you continue to stay in school while you were pregnant?
SPEAKER_02Or well, then I didn't go the second half, second semester. Okay. I went and lived in Flasher. And then when I came back, Jerry insisted, he said, you are going back to school. And I was pretty well big and pregnant by then. Yeah. And uh so I went to school, went to college that summer. I remember if you remember Maury Martin, he that was probably before your time, but he was a teacher at the college at the time, and he kept telling me, I cannot believe you're here today. You're still here every day. He would tell me that. He said, Well, she's still here, and um, so yeah, I made it through that summer, big and pregnant. I was big because I lived in Flasher and there was nothing to do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I lived and you didn't know anybody? No, I knew no one. I did know one couple because they had come from Sentinel Butte, and he was a teacher in set in Beach or Sentinel Butte at that time, and then transferred to Flasher. So I knew that couple a little bit. But we lived in a it looked like a boxcar. It really was just like a boxcar, and it had kitchen on one end, living room in the middle, bed on the end, and we shared a bathroom with an old couple that he had emphysema and coughed and whatever all the time. I felt so bad for him. And then there was a lady in the basement that lived there, and and then this young couple, Jerry and I. It was like we knew no one, you know, and but we did go home almost every weekend. But like I said, all week on week long, I just sat in the watched TV, yeah, ate, fed my baby. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So then you had Jolyn. Did you go that fall semester or did you just you did?
SPEAKER_02So you had a Jolynne was born in September. I started school right away, and so I had her, and then I just kept going to school. Because then you had one year left, basically. Yeah, correct. Yeah, a year and a half. Oh, you had a year and a half. Well, I went that summer, but I didn't get enough work. Okay, okay. So I had a year and a half left. But um, his sister Kathy and her husband, Larry, lived in Dickinson, and they were both going to college at the same time, and so they really helped with Jolene. They would we planned our schedules, our classes so that yeah, so they did the between the three of us because Jerry was teaching between the three of us, then we would yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_04So you guys moved back to Dickinson, Jerry's teaching where in South Hart.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Well, you finished your teaching degree, yeah, and then when you finished your teaching degree, you just go right into working at Southheart, and that's where you I'm sure I got the job because he was already there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they didn't want to get rid of Jerry and you taught English, yes, English MP.
SPEAKER_04Oh, MP, that's right. And so how many years did you end up teaching before retiring? 32.
SPEAKER_0232 years. Yeah, we retired in 2002.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02So we retired.
SPEAKER_04What do you think you and Jerry did that led to a successful marriage that lasted that has lasted so long?
SPEAKER_03We're still married, we're still, we're still going strong.
SPEAKER_02I would say our faith. I really, I mean, he was he has a strong faith, and so did I. We both came from families that uh set a rosary frequently. Um we still to this day say, and we would get in the car and the rosary goes on wherever we travel, even if it's just to Dickinson. Yeah, we always do our rosaries that way. The kids will tell you we said many in the car. And they they always, if they they knew if they fought, we had to say three rosaries or whatever. And so they would ride very quiet in the vehicles when we went on vacation.
SPEAKER_04Um, but and if I remember correctly, you guys didn't miss mass like ever. Correctly, you guys were always in mass. Did was it? I don't remember if my mom said sometimes you would go with one and somebody would go with another kid. Did you ever do that or did you always go together?
SPEAKER_02We always went together. You always went together. We went and we did daily mass. I still say that was one of the best things we ever did with our kids. We went to daily mass, Southheart had it at that time. So church was at 7:30 in the morning, and we'd go and go to church and right off to school and get there by eight o'clock if father wasn't too long-winded. Yeah, yeah. But um, yeah, we went to daily mass all the time, and I think that has been the one thing that and learning to adjust to. I think if we had any fights when we were young, it probably was over money, you know, because it was never enough. You know, it was like, and I'm sure there was enough if we look back, but yeah, it was like you always wanted something, or he wanted something, or whatever that you probably didn't need, you know.
SPEAKER_04The funny thing you say that because I remember being grade school age, and um, well, I just you having this like idolizing D a little bit, that was like your favorite. I just loved Amy, I loved her so much, her Angelyn, but really Amy because probably because she was a little closer to age, but um they were always dressed so nice, like so you would say that D, we would get so excited when you would go through their closet because then Don, Sherry, and Lori could kind of have, and if there was anything that was small enough, they would then give to me. And I was always so excited because I thought, well, they are always so well dressed. They had, you know, and yeah. So I but I do remember probably Amy more, just I just loved her. I always, it was so much fun when she when you guys would come to grandma's because they also had Sherry and Lori and Dawn. And I just oh, you know, I was one of the younger ones, so I just loved that those girls look up to them so much.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And I hadn't even remembered that. But Amy told me, yeah, mom, you used to let me go and stay at the beach for a week. And I was, you know, go swimming with the kids and stuff. So and I didn't remember that. I said I must have farmed you out.
SPEAKER_04What do you feel like that now with Jerry's parents, us talking about marriage? One of the things that I did not put on your list, but I was thinking about um earlier today. I do feel like they've recently passed. Yeah, recently. How old were now? His mom passed away first.
SPEAKER_02Yes, and she passed away in nine um 1998, I think it was. No, really was it was it 90? No, 2008. 2008, maybe. Well, yeah, maybe 2018. 2008. 2008. I don't feel like it's been I can't remember. Dad was two years ago. Jerry's dad was two years ago, and I think his mom, it's been 11 years.
SPEAKER_04Really? Yeah, and they were how old when they passed away?
SPEAKER_02Because I do feel like they lived. Millie was I think 94, and Jerry was 101. 101.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and they too um, and obviously I did not know them, but from hearing stories, I feel like they two had a very, very strong, like they were, they always did everything together. Yeah, cracked a very strong family. So, what do you feel? Did they ever talk about or give advice about what they did that they felt like helped them become such a strong couple?
SPEAKER_02I know they talked a lot about faith. They, you know, you you've got to raise your kids, you know. Uh dad's saying, Jerry's dad's saying was always you can afford to give them everything, but don't. He said, um, always remember that. They they don't need everything. And my kids used to hate that saying because we would throw it back at them a lot. Um, but uh I think they were just they were respectful and kind to each other. I I don't remember them ever seeing them get mad at each other. They were just always so respectful and kind. And dad always helped in the kitchen. Uh it was just tradition in that family when dinner was done, the men went to the did the dishes. The women did not, I mean, we would put food away and things like that, but the men would do all the dishes. And that's carried on even in the Perdames family now, like down in Arizona. Joel is well, I call him Joe, um Jerry, uh, still right to the sink, and the other ones join him, you know, the other Perdames men. So yeah. But yeah, they were, and you know, his dad lived with us after Millie died. Then he moved in with us. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, I went to Hollywood.
SPEAKER_02I just had a happy heart, I feel like. Well, I I just couldn't see him alone. He was at Hawks Point, that's where they were living, and I went there after the funeral, and everybody's kind of gone. And he was up in his room, and we'd always go there, usually what we called happy hour, um, like five in the 4:30, five in the afternoon, and join him for a drink or a beverage of some sort. And so I went that day when everybody had gone. I told Joe, I'm gonna go see dad because I know he's lonely. So I went there and he was sitting in his rocking chair and had his rosary and he was praying. And I said, Is it happy hour time? And he said, Yeah, I think so. So he got up and he made us both a drink. And I said, Did you go to supper? Or no, did you go to breakfast? I asked him, and he said, Um, no, I wasn't hungry. And I said, Well, did you go to lunch then? No, I'm not hungry. And I I went home that day and I told Jerry, You we need to do something. We cannot leave him there. He's gonna die. He's just lost. And so I went back the next day and I said to him, Dad, what do you think of moving to the farm? He said, Well, and I think he thought I meant his farm because we're a mile apart. I and he said, No, James and Jim, or James lives there. And I said, No, no, I mean at my house. Would you want to live with us? And he goes, You don't want an old man in your house. I said, I'll take an old man. Yeah. And I said, You're certainly welcome. I said, I can't say I cook like mom, but I said, we'll try. I said, but I we would love to have you come and live with us. And he said, and he was reluctant at first, conversation. And as we sat there and visited, and he goes, I can't believe you want to do this. And I said, I do. I said, why don't you try it for a few days? I said, let's pack a little bit. You come stay with us and see what you think. You know, you can always come back here. I said, I'll tell him you're going to be gone for a few days. And he never went back. He stayed with us. Yeah. And so Rosie and Jim also would um take him in the summer when I would go to Montana. Okay. Then they would take him for that month. And then his daughter Kathy would take him in the winter. She's she really jumped in and helped. She said, he went with us to Arizona the first time. And then he said, I just don't like going down there. He said, I think there were too many memories of his wife of mom down there. So he just didn't want to be by that anymore. So then he stayed the winter months, he would stay with Kathy while we were gone in Denver. She lived. Isn't that so great? Yeah. So we all kind of all everyone pitched in. I I mean, I told him, I said, I'm gonna move him to my house, but I'm gonna need help, you know. And so Rosie and Kathy really did pick up the so great.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um, going back to the teaching, you said you taught for 32 years before you retired. Do you feel like school, how has the school atmosphere changed? Since you first started teaching versus now.
SPEAKER_02Is that okay to ask? Like it's changed. Tell me all the bad stuff. I'm just kidding. And I can tell you one thing that I know has changed drastically, and it's thanks to the teachers' union that it changed a lot of things. But in when I started teaching, women were hired, but they didn't want you to have babies. Oh, they wanted you to postpone or figure it out so you could have it in June, July, and August. You know, that would be fine. Yeah, so it didn't interrupt. And so I had Jolyn when I started teaching already. So she was five years younger or five years older than Amy. So when I got pregnant with Amy, no one said anything to me. And then, you know, GJ was born like 13 months later. So when I got pregnant with GJ, this principal and superintendent called me into their office and basically chewed me out for not planning my pregnancies so they wouldn't interrupt the school year. Oh my gosh. Now, my husband also taught in that school, but he was never notified. Right, just you. Just me. Just me.
SPEAKER_04Well, it does only take one, I guess.
SPEAKER_02We always laugh about that, and I always tell Jerry, you ne you never got called in for stuff like that. You think I did it alone? Right. Oh, geez. Yeah, so that has been a big change. I mean, that women would, and in those days, you only got 15 school days off after you're giving birth. Then you could spend 15 days. Well, with GJ, it worked out nice because he was born right around Thanksgiving time. So I didn't have to count Thanksgiving, you know, and so that gave me some Christmas. Yes, it gave me more time. I was able to go almost to Christmas uh that time. But yeah, though that's a big change. The other change that really kind of they started doing where you had to document if you met certain criteria with your students, and it was I can't remember even what they called it, but there would be like step one, and you had an ABCD or something in there, and you had to make sure you covered all of those things, and it just got too too many, you know, answering to the higher ups instead of actually teaching. Yeah, you know, it just and we're what that class needed or kids needed.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02You couldn't personalize it. You just you know, and I just I it was time just to step away and let somebody else coming new in, you know, that had been trained in that, you know, then they were being trained in, and I can't think of the names for those things that that they had to follow, but they still do that now. So they I mean that was something that started them.
SPEAKER_04And it do you think that has a because I do feel like there's less it used to be there's so many teachers, and it was hard to get a job in teaching, or they were and now it's like we can't keep teachers a lot, are retiring earlier, or they're going um to do different jobs. Don't yeah, different jobs, different careers. Um and so it does seem like there's always teacher positions available. Do you think that has something some things to do with it, or is it like we can't discipline the way we used to, which sometimes can be a good thing? It's first and poor stories about some different teachers, right? But um, what what do you feel like is more the cause of that?
SPEAKER_02I think a lot of it, well, or is it parenting you parents? Parents, like they always a lot of teachers will say, if they could just teach and not have to work with parents, you know, that would be so much better. And I think parents became more vocal. Um, at that they started, and I I don't know how it is now, but at that time they they tried to dictate what you could and couldn't teach. And um like the union would stand up for us, you know. Um, I know there were novels that they didn't want, some parents didn't want me to teach, like Grapes of Wrath or Um Anne Frank, or oh, some of those classics. Yes, the classics, and that's what basically what we taught were classics. I mean, nowadays I know they've shifted more, but um it was like they would come to board meetings so irate some parents, and you'd have to go to the board meeting and listen to them spew. They were you know, dish. like for you and your books and whatever. But um the union would just stand up for us and say, you know, this these are classics. These are not, you know, something you pulled off the shelf from nowhere. Right.
SPEAKER_04You know, they're referenced all the time too. The what? Those books are referenced. Yes. All the time. So it is good to have that knowledge so you know what people are talking about.
SPEAKER_02A lot of things come from literature, that's for sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Now how many grandkids do you have? Eight eight grandkids. Eight grandkids. How has being a grandma been different than being a mom?
SPEAKER_02Because you don't have to discipline. You can just for you can just love them on them and you know and the thing is I I guess Jolene's kids were with me more than any of the others. Matt and Bree were just so respectful and loving. I mean they just you know never had to discipline them. I remember playing and being goofy with them more than probably the other ones because they were further away. But um yeah and now Matthew lives with us. He is that so close. Yeah right he he and his wife live with us they're trying to save for a house. So you know why not?
SPEAKER_04Do you remember when they were little I remember you telling me um that you used to do like park you'd have you'd go to different parks and you had 15 minutes to do whatever you wanted at that park and then you got to get in the vehicle and go to another park 15 minutes and we would do that on Saturdays when Joland wanted to get them out of her hair we would they we always we'd have something like one day it was probably let's see all the slides that we can find around Dickinson.
SPEAKER_02And it was amazing how many slides we found and uh so we would go around to a playground and we'd get have to go me included go down the slide at least or swing or whatever it was if we were finding swings that day or whatever. But yeah we did silly things like that and play tag they tried to I mean chasing me they would just get the belly laugh because they you know they couldn't catch me or whatever. But yeah those were fun times with those kids they and the older one I mean and Amy's kids I I went there several times to take care of them even when she lived in Illinois. In fact I rode a train and she got me a sleeper car on a train and I rode all the way to Chicago on a sleeper train and um then took a bus from Chicago to normal is where she lived.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02And so to help her with the kids one summer. Wow so you know I got to do things with them then you know yeah play with them. GJ's kids I would we I don't remember going there on my own ever. I was always we always went there every summer to see them you know with Jerry. Yeah Jerry and I would go together. And Malia was they had playgrounds in their neighborhood so we would go play at the playgrounds or swimming pool or whatever but I remember doing some of that. But again the kids were all so good. I don't know very good parenting I think you know they just knew how to treat grandma and grandpa. Get the most out of you guys right exactly did you spend any part of your life traveling I don't well Jerry and I traveled every summer you know we always go to Montana and we've done that for 55 years or at least um ever since we've been married we've always gone to Montana um after we retired then it got the stay was longer yeah but um we would always go there every every summer he loved to fly fish he started out just fishing um regular catching them with the worm and whatever and a guy saw him fishing one day in um on the Gallatin River and he the it was an older gentleman I considered him older he's probably my age at that time but anyway he came over and talked to Jerry and he told him he said what do you do with all those fish you catch and we said we smoke them and we had a guy that in Bozeman that would smoke them in for us before we'd leave and um so we kept them all and he said don't you think we're gonna run out of fish pretty soon if we all keep catching fish like that and of course we made light of it but then he said I should teach you how to fly fish and so that he was a math instructor at the college at Bozeman State there. And so he said you meet me here tomorrow and I'll teach you how to fly fish and so he brought Jerry his first rod fly rod and whatever and um taught him how to fly fish and that's all we've done he's done since and is and we release everything we he doesn't keep anything but yeah so and that was the travels that we did. I we did take one trip that I really remembered and treasured um after Jolene graduated we went to we took grandma and we went to California all the way up the coast to Oregon to see her family and then back home and she and Jerry teased each other all the time he would she would fall asleep and he would look back and she would start to wake up and he said you better wake up because I was just ready to get out and put you on top of the vehicle he's because you know that old showing yes he always told her he said if you if you die on me back there you're going right on top of the vehicle he said I thought that's what was happening oh my goodness so he would tease her like that a lot but yeah we had a good time I mean we our first stop was in Wyoming right by the river we had and we were tented it we didn't have a camper then we tented it grandma slept in the van on a the couch in the back opened up into a bed so grandma and Amy slept in there and Jolyn GJ Joe and I slept in the tent and um we got up in the morning here the birds sun shining we get up grandma's already been up she's got the coffee on ready to go she you could tell she was just in her element she she said that was one of the best trips she ever had she I bet and she went you know we went down to California saw some of Jerry's relatives and up the coast and saw Lila and Robert and where they lived I had never seen where they lived and so we got to see those and then we went to Oregon and saw her family and we tented it in the back of do you remember Uncle Hilbert the Uncle don't really I mean I was really little oh when they so I have vis very little memories so we camped in their yard mom stayed in the house and um the rest of us stayed in our tent out in the backyard and um they had peach trees and I remember we ate peaches like they were so good uh so awesome I mean I wanted to bring a bunch back with me but they rot before we got back but that was probably my best trip that I ever took you know that we did because I think it was just so much fun showing the kids we went to Las Vegas spent the night in Las Vegas and there we got a hotel because it was a hundred degrees or whatever and we couldn't stay so Jerry agreed to get a hotel and um you know it wasn't in our expense account that but we did it and anyway he gave he went and in those days the casinos had coins and so he went and he got a roll of nickels for the three for grandma me and him and he said and the kids went to circus circus Jolyn took the kids went to circus circus and whatever and we went to the casino down on the main floor and um anyways the you would win and the coins would fall into the tray okay now you know it's just paper. But it was it was all in the tray well mine was gone right away and Jerry's lasted a little bit longer and finally he's done with his so we go looking for grandma and we find her and her tray is full and Jerry goes we're about time to go grandma we about time to hit the bed or something like that. And she goes you you guys done with yours or something like that and he goes yeah our money's gone she said here and she grabbed in took a handful of coins and said go play with these for a while she used she did not want to stop that was yeah and then we went another time we pulled Owen the first night we stayed in Wyoming I I got out to go check us in and as I got out I stumbled on a rock I thought it was a rock it was a little coin purse and when I opened it up it was a hundred dollar bill in it and there's nobody around to claim it and I thought I could turn it in but I got back in the car and I said look what I found and I said what am I going to do and I I thought if I give it to them yeah yeah I mean so we kept it so when we got to Salt Lake City and went to Mormon Tabernacle Square and we were just viewing the area and this gal is standing she's got little job for pants or whatever you call those with a she's uh with a horse and buggy and all this and she's got her little whip and she's standing there and she said would you like to ride and tour Salt Lake on uh the carriage and Jerry goes no no we walk away and and I said Joe why don't we do that? That way mom could see the city I said all of us we don't have to walk and he goes no and the gal comes over and she taps him she said I think your family would really like that and she was so cute and so young and mom mom could tell it better than anyone she said when that gal winked at Jerry she said she had him in the palm of her hand she said we rode that horse and he sat right beside her and the rest of us in the back and she said I think he enjoyed it more than any of us so we did tour so late that time by carriage.
SPEAKER_04And you guys just went on a vacation with um Amy and Steve and Steve and GJ GJ Gloria and their family.
SPEAKER_02And how was that? It was awesome yeah it was for Jerry's 80th birthday it was a Christmas present to the two of us for his 80th we went to Paris we spent three days in Paris three days in London and three days in Amsterdam or maybe four days because it was a total of 12 days that we were gone but yeah they had their days planned out I mean you just went along yeah just follow along and do what what they had planned it was really very very nice. Went to Jerry's family farm where his grandpa oh in Amsterdam yeah they went there super cool yeah and met with one of his cousins that still lives close to the family farm okay and um amazing their farms are all cement there is no dirt no rocks I I told them their names are Martin and Toes I said oh I could be a farmer if I could live like this no dirt no dirt well what did you guys going back to your what did you do for a a honeymoon did you ever do anything for a honeymoon? We didn't have a honeymoon that winter but we did that summer okay um in fact we Jolyn was born in September and then the week after she was born my mom and your mom uh grandma and Cheryl took care of Jolyn and um we went to Jackson Hole Wyoming and that was our honeymoon yeah well that's so great it's a great yeah it was very nice time do you have any unique talents that people would be surprised to hear about you no I have not my mom said sewing that your greatest well I used to be a good seamstress but you know what's really odd is Glennis hated sewing when she was in home ac and Glennis is the greatest seamstress now she can take and make anything all that woman she doesn't even need a pattern she took all of grandpa Pradames's shirts that he had and made them into aprons for each of his kids and all of my my kids' family so Kathy and Joe got one and then my kids all got one from grandpa's shirts you know oh that's super cool like very unique. Yeah and she just laid it out and made a pattern out of paper and well she does does she do knitting or crocheting she she does she does a lot of yeah she does I I can't remember I think it's crochet no is it crochet or knit I don't know I can't remember what she does. She makes doilies and blankets she she's very talented yeah and she did none of that when she creative with all that stuff yeah and loves to cook and bake I don't bake much anymore because if I bake I Jerry doesn't eat sweets or rare sweets a piece of pie eats a little piece of it and that's done. So Glennis loves to pamper him down in Arizona. In Arizona we oh yeah she does a lot what's an important life lesson that you have learned well the one thing I would say is don't worry what others think because growing up I've I spent way too much time worrying about what I looked like and what others thought of me and you know if you as you think about it even now it's like you go out do you remember what Sally Susan wore? It's like no so it's not all about you.
SPEAKER_04It's like I Amy and I talked about that the other day about you know you can wear the same thing three days in a row and probably no one would notice yeah you know I often think of that when I get dressed for work I'm like what did I wear yesterday and then like if I don't remember what I wore yesterday nobody else would remember what I wore.
SPEAKER_02And and it's like the other thing I tell myself is money can't buy happiness or health. You know it money helps with some of those things but it doesn't buy them totally you know many will give up their health so that they can earn that money. Yeah you know and yeah and a lot of people give up what actually does cost yeah create happiness and money I I think of the money with health so many times I wish I could help others that can't get the health help they need you know if you knew of someone um I've you know I don't know if you knew but Amy had cancer and I mean if she hadn't had the money she could not have gotten the help you know gone to the doctors that she wanted and that basically saved her life. Yes yeah because she's joined a group on pot I don't know some group on social media that have this kind of rare cancer and so many of them talked about how they could not get what they needed. You know and those in Canada that they yeah they're still waiting to have a surgery and it's a fast growing kind of thing. So like she said when you say money can't buy health mom sometimes it can you know in those circumstances but so many times you hear of someone that died and had all this money but couldn't do anything about it. You know yeah so those are mine don't worry what others think because they probably aren't looking at you anyway. Right. They're usually thinking about themselves and what yeah right well I even think Kylie back when Glennis and I were young I'm sure we had to be maybe eighth seventh eighth ninth tenth grade when we went to church we didn't want to sit with mom and daddy. We wanted to sit away because we didn't want people to know it's like they all knew we were stop well but we would go up in the choir because Glennis had a beautiful voice I didn't but Glennis was in the choir and I would just kind of hum along but we would sit in the choir because we didn't want to sit with mom and daddy.
SPEAKER_04Because they were older because they were daddy was old yeah and you know and we did didn't have the best clothes and things but yeah we'd laugh about it because we said who were you fooling yeah who didn't know that you belonged to that yeah if you could go back to any stage of your life a memory or a particular day or just like a stage what would it be and why oh what did I think of I don't think there was anything I think I was talking to Jerry about that and I think he and I both agreed if we could go back we would probably go back and not stay in Southheart really yeah that we would have should have ventured out a little bit you know because at that time there was such a demand for teachers in Alaska and some of his classmates that graduated when he did went to Sitka Alaska and we had an opportunity to go but his uncle got sick and he farmed with his dad and his dad just said I he needed all the help he could get you know on the farm so then Jerry kind of went back to farming and teaching at the same time but um that's one thing he kind of like you said don't you always wonder what what would have we been like yeah that we transpired and yeah that little butterfly effect right yeah but still ended up back where we were born so what's a memory from childhood that you didn't realize was important until later in life or something you did that you didn't I thought of that Kylie I just I can't remember what I even thought of I thought of it later I don't remember what it was but something that happened in childhood yeah like if I think back to for me I don't think I realize how important like having all of us under one roof really was that it is like a rare that once that oldest one leaves or whatever it's really rare that you're all together and you didn't really soak in like how fun it was to have all of us whether it was Christmas you know like a 90s Christmas or an 80s Christmas or and you didn't realize that was going to be so important later on or like meals together as a family things like that that were really important but it was like humdrum you know exactly I would say from my memories from going back what was important back then was realizing how you could help others even if you didn't have much.
SPEAKER_02You know um and probably like you said bringing everybody together. I mean I think back to you know when we mom would have grandma would have everybody down um and everybody would come but I always wanted Bonnie and Wes to come because you know I lived with him a lot and um so many times they didn't come but uh just having all the kids there it was such a joy and how I didn't I probably didn't capture it in my memory you know as strong as because sitting on that I can still see all you kids when you were young sitting on the kitchen floor because there wasn't room at the table.
SPEAKER_04Yeah we'd put you guys would sit on the floor now you I mean it was just the way it was but we were all together you know and I look back to with grandma's house it's hard to to um obviously put into words how small that house actually is because at the time I didn't realize and I'm like we would have family reunions and when you think about how big the family is we would have people on the deck you'd have people in the kitchen the living or the dining room the living room but none of those rooms were big and you had one bathroom I guess one downstairs to eventually too um there wasn't a lot of space and yet she hosted all the time and Sundays she a lot of times would make a meal for us to come and everybody who was around would come. But really even in the summer like having people down if Byron and June were up in their camper they had that but everybody was that yeah they were house she always had she always said there was always room for one more. Yes you know always room at the table for one more and now you look we have bigger houses than ever and we never get together.
SPEAKER_02And we never get together. Isn't that true? I think I think of that myself and I always kind of chew myself out and say shame on you Sandy you could have people over but you just you get in your rut the routine Yeah, and you just uh time flies by. It truly does. Yeah, yeah. It just goes.
SPEAKER_04Is there anything you always wish you had did but never got around to doing? I mean, you just talked about the maybe going to Alaska to teach, but anything else?
SPEAKER_02Not really. I think I think I've lived my life pretty full. It's you know, been busy.
SPEAKER_04And if you could go back and give yourself a piece of advice, what would it be? Obviously don't worry about what others think. Right.
SPEAKER_02I would say take time for your kids, you know. You just I mean, I think back to my kids and it's like I don't really remember a lot of doing a lot with them. I must have because I was around, you know, and things, but I kind of wished I would have made probably even more memories with them that they would have that would have been repetitive, so it would have been come become a memory. Um one thing we did do is we always had Wednesday night was game night. And so we would go in the basement, we'd build our fire, and that's where we hung out most of the time in our basement with fireplace down there. And but Wednesday was game night, and we played the farming game or we, you know, or clue or you know, some board game. But if we played the farming game, or what's the other one where you buy houses and stuff? Monopoly. Monopoly. Yeah, those could be carried over from one week to the next. That's a long game, yes. So, and it was like, don't anyone touch that. We're playing that next Wednesday.
SPEAKER_04Did you ask it with game night? The thing that we run into sometimes is some are not good losers. It ends up being like somebody's mad, something's not.
SPEAKER_02No, they really I don't remember that.
SPEAKER_03Good for your kids.
SPEAKER_02I don't remember that maybe because well, you know, I was one of those that let people win. I was not a competitor at all. I mean, I just I let my kids win. Or I make some dumb moves that would they would wonder why did mom do that?
SPEAKER_04But what's your favorite song of all time? Do you have a favorite song of all time?
SPEAKER_02I don't have a favorite song, but I have people that I like to listen to, and I still listen to today because grandma liked them, was Patsy Klein, and um you know, any of her songs I would listen to. Um I've got I used to have CDs, now I put them on my, you know, tele microphone and all that. Yeah, right. And the other one was the Statler brothers, and that was one of Grandma's favorite, but um not their nor original songs, some of those, but they're gospel songs. Okay, you know, and I still have those on a little old iPod that I carry with me in Montana and walk with. But um, so not really a you know, how great thou art and some of those religious songs are some of my favorite, you know. But I can Did you have a dance for your wedding?
SPEAKER_04Did you see we had dances? And what what what was what was the song that you and Jerry danced to for your wedding?
SPEAKER_02Oh heavens, I wouldn't remember. You don't remember? No, I don't remember. No, I like I told you, I remember so little about my wedding that it's kind of a blur. Yeah, it is like a blur. I remember my brothers trying to steal the bride, and I remember Jerry holding on to me, and they were trying to get me up the steps, and I grabbed a hold of the railing, and I was not leaving because I knew if my brothers got me out of that building, I probably wouldn't be back for a couple of hours. Yeah, that's true, especially with Wes. Uh so.
SPEAKER_04Uh, can you share some memories of the older five siblings who have passed away?
SPEAKER_02Yes. Donna was more like an aunt to me, I would say. She wasn't, you know, it wasn't like a sister. I would say like an aunt because she would, we would go and stay with her in the summer. I'm sure we were a sight to behold, because we'd take a paper bag and put our clothes and whatever we needed in there, roll the top down, and mom would take us down to the train, and we'd get on the train and go to Miles City because John worked on the train, so we could they got us cheap tickets, I suppose. I'm sure she had to pay something, but or if Donna paid for it, and we'd go to stay with Donna and Johnny for the for a week or whatever. So um got to know them very well, and their kids, we had so much fun with their kids, you know, playing. I remember one little store that Donna would give us each, probably nickel dime, I don't know what it was, and we could go buy candy at the store and things, but um just that was some good memories there with her. Um, I remember when they would come to beach, mom always had an apple pie for John. We may not have apple pie for months, but if Johnny came, he got an apple pie. I still tell her kids about that one. I said, we loved when you guys came because we got apple pie.
SPEAKER_04But now, was she making apple pie when she made an apple pie and forgot to put sugar in it? Do you remember that? No, she made an apple pie, totally forgot the sugar. She, oh, the worst pie. She did all of a sudden she realized she did not put sugar.
SPEAKER_03She was so upset at herself, she had to throw the whole thing away.
SPEAKER_02See, I would have just added some sugar on top and a little ice cream.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And Lila, I you know, she lived in California, so we never got to see her very often. But um, as she got older, she and I became like good friends. Um, we'd call each other at least once a week. And um I think what started it was she didn't after um, you know, she divorced from Mike and she was living alone. Elmer, I I think Elmer was still alive at that time, but um she it was more the political, it's kind of serious silly, but it was more the political. She'd call and visit with me because she and I kind of believed the same things as pol as politics went. And so she would hear something on the news, she'd have to call and tell me. You know, did you did you hear this? Did you hear that? So we kind of became connected over yeah, over something so silly, but it was something that we did. And I often felt sorry for her because I think she got a bad rap when grandma died that you know that she was taking stuff, but again, she didn't realize how important some of that stuff was to the rest of us who have lived with it also.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So, like I told her, you know, it's just stuff. Yeah, that's all it is, is stuff, and I'm not gonna let stuff tear me apart. Yeah, so that like I said, Lila and I became pretty good friends. Wes was more like a dad because I lived with him and things, and you know, he would he was a good man, he really was. He teased a lot. I remember him when he'd come home, he probably had too many things to drink.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02And so he would be kind of silly. I remember him grabbing a spoon of mashed potatoes and chasing me through Bonnie and Wes's house, going to slap it on my face. And it was, and Bonnie telling him to stop and whatever, but and me laughing because what else do you do? You know, yeah, yeah. But like I said, he was he kind of was more like a dad, very, very good brother, no doubt. And always at the house when we needed him, or grandma needed him, he always came. Um, whether it was her car didn't start to, you know, yeah, whatever the issue might have been, he would come. Um, Byron would come almost every summer and do some project in the house. He always had a project that he would do for mom. And that's how she got her patio, you know, on the side there. And I remember when he came one year after he built the patio and or somebody else had started it and he finished it. And then when he came back, it was sagging on one side. He took that all apart, built up that one edge. I mean, he was so handy with things like that. So and I remember going and staying with him in McNeil Island one summer. Mom sent me out there to help June. Um, she sent me away a lot. And so I went there um by train. And I think I was only like seventh grade when I went, sixth, seventh grade, went out there and stayed with Byron on McNeil Island where the prison they lived where the prison was out there. And so we'd take a ferry boat over to the prison uh where they lived. But so so Byron was yeah, I got to know him that way a bit more. Um Robert, I never really got to know that well because he went off to the service and then he didn't come home that often. You know, he just but when we went there and saw him in California, he was such a gracious host. Oh, he just showed us all over San Francisco, he took us for a wonderful dinner down by the um dock and whatever. You know, wined and dined us pretty good that year that we were there. Um and you know, I think back to him too. He lived in that bunkhouse and the other boys had left, so he was alone. He was alone, yeah. And so I think you know, when he used to come and scare me with the cold, he was probably bored to death out there, you know. Um, but yeah, so but he he was always special, and he always told me you're special to me. I don't know why, but he always said you're kind of special to me.
SPEAKER_04And Robert had this, and all of us younger, um, we'll call us all the grandkids, remember him with the his bottom lip. He could get over his nose. He would always do that. And you know, I found a picture of him doing that to me when my mom was holding me when I was little, and I don't know who obviously snapped the picture, but I am so thankful they did. Oh, how cool. Because that is what we all remember about him, and it wasn't just because the picture, we all remember him doing that. That was like the biggest thing, you know.
SPEAKER_02And um well, because he had false teeth and he didn't like to wear them, so he was able to do that. Yeah, he carried his false teeth in his pocket. Oh, no way, I didn't do that. Yeah, he carried them in his pocket, so if he had to put them in, he would, but otherwise, because then when he came to that reunion that time in Jackson Hole and brought everybody steaks, um, he ate steak without teeth. He gummed that steak to that. He said, You get used to it, you get used to it.
SPEAKER_04Well, tell us about that, because that because everybody else had brought what for that family reunion?
SPEAKER_02Well, something to grill, like hamburgers or hot dogs, whatever. Um, that was our first big family reunion. And I remember Grandma Stockwell made everybody those little skates. I don't know if you ever got them. Yes, for the tree, like for the tree, yeah, tree ornaments. She made how many pairs of those for everyone that year. And then um, like I said, we all brought food, and I don't remember, we must have had our camper. I can't even remember where we all stayed that year, but um Byron or Robert brought every brought coolers full of steaks for everyone so we could all have steak, and a lot of us couldn't afford steaks, so that was a real tree. Yeah, and our kids even remember having steak with Robert. And one thing, your family, I don't remember who was all uh born already then. I know Jason was, and maybe Joel. Okay, Josh. Josh, okay, were the three boys you weren't born yet, were you at that time? Probably not. I don't remember, but anyway, the little boys, and I know it was some of your brothers, and I don't remember who else, I think Lennace's boys. Anyway, they went, there was a pond there, and they had fishing poles beside the pond. And so the little boys started fishing, and they were catching fish like crazy. Well, you can imagine in a pond like that, they probably starve in poor fish, and they caught these fish only to find out later that you paid for it by the inch of what you caught. And no, we no one even watched them. We were all together doing whatever, and the little boys were fishing. I'll have to ask my mom about that. Yeah, they ended up paying for the fish that they caught. But that was a good reunion. I remember that one. Who was responsible for the pancakes? That was Wes and Byron. Wes and Byron would make the morning breakfast.
SPEAKER_04And then they were the ones that put the coffee filter in. It was a random person who would get it.
SPEAKER_02It never and I still remember one that Jerry got it one year. I think probably was in Jackson Hole, I don't remember. And they were everybody was standing around waiting for him to find the filter, and he took his knife and cut through the paper and ate the whole paper. He was not gonna let them know that he was the monica. And so he devoured that. And I still to this day, I said, How I don't know how you ever did it, Joe.
SPEAKER_04And I think we got used to like when you would cut, you always cut first because you always looked. I remember getting together in beach at the pool park and them doing some grilling, and there was pancakes, and definitely make sure that you get one. Yes. And I remember when it brings up, yeah.
SPEAKER_02They love doing that, and like they say it would be random now and then. This is the one somebody's gonna get.
SPEAKER_04I'm sure Jason got one, I'm pretty sure at one point. And I never did, so that was. I'm sure they did. I'm sure. What's what's something you would want people to remember about you when you're gone?
SPEAKER_03I mean, it could be more than one.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no. I uh that's a tough one because what you might think people would remember is not what you what you're gonna remember. And I guess just that maybe I was kind and cared about others, you know. I would say I would say that's probably the thing I would say. Always made made time for others, I guess.
SPEAKER_04Any other memories that you want to share?
SPEAKER_02I can't I can't think of any.
SPEAKER_04Are there any others of grammar? I mean, I know you have a lot of grandma.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, um if we didn't touch on any Yeah, I don't, you know, like I said, there's so many memories, like with her mainly like playing cards. That was the one thing I I learned a lot. I mean, my card loving came from grandma, that's for sure. Um, but I I think probably what grandma stock would say too is love everyone. You know, God said love your neighbor, and then you know, love everyone. And if if everyone did that, we often say we'd have a whole different world if we didn't care about you know gender, race, religion, politics, whatever, and you just love people, wouldn't it be a great world? Yeah, you know, I think if we got rid of our phones. Well, that too, yeah. We didn't didn't know what was going on in the world. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, you know, how many times do you see it? You know, think about a restaurant or whatever, and people are at a table and everyone is on their phone. That always it just I look at it and think, what they're missing. Yeah, the conversation that could be going on there. You know, now um I know we always have, well, Jerry more than me has the rule that when you sit down at grandma and Nana and Papa's table, there's no phones. Yeah, and so we kind of we see the grandkids sneak them under the table, you know, or whatever, and Papa will catch them and say, get that phone out, put it over on the cupboard.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I often think too, you saying um that you wish you would have spent more time with your kids, but you didn't even have the distraction of a phone. So think of how much people miss because they're on their phone. I often think of that too, because you have the constant distraction of it or notifications, message, whatever you're getting, right? Back when you had kids, and even when I had my when my old older ones were little, your phone was phone, and you could maybe text, you know, it didn't have the computer capabilities, shall we say? And I'm often thankful because when I would nurse, I would just sit and sing to my babies, and I didn't have the distraction of a phone where so many that's the they're on their phones, whereas I would just sit and just stare at them while they would nurse and sing to them and stuff because I didn't have the distraction. And I often think, what are others missing anymore? Yeah, because that's that's something that I miss. But I look at when us talking about grandma, and that is one thing she would and never felt like a burden and never felt even the the five older um aunts and uncles, they always made you feel special. You, I mean, they did give you attention, they would listen to what you had to say, even though I was so little, and it was probably watch me do a cartwheel or whatever, you know. But if you had grandma would always listen, she would always drop whatever she was doing. And you I think often about how we would paint ceramics. Um, I went to her house all the time and painted ceramics, yeah. And you would sit there and you'd visit, or you'd be comfortable in the silence. Yeah. In a sense, we didn't have once in a while, she put music on, but it was us visiting all the time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what great memories to and it wasn't anything didn't cost any money.
SPEAKER_04We uh probably destroyed her ceramics that she had fixed. But you know, it's that that presence we miss a lot anymore, I feel like, and that's that's for sure. That's a sad thing anymore. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Speaking of the ceramics, when she lived with us those winters, Jerry set up a spot in the basement by the fireplace where she could paint her ceramics and things. And that was when the um snow babies were kind of important. And so she was making snow babies. Okay, and so I had bought some. We'd gone to the ceramic shop, got the snow babies, came home, and at nights, and I would go down with her and we'd paint. And so I'm painting my snow babies that I'm gonna hang on my tree, and she's painting for the kids, you you kids, and whoever. And um, she's putting gold on them and silver on them, and you know, and the snow babies are just snow babies with blah faces, you know. And I said, she said, Don't you want to put some of that that gold on the ribbon on that one? Or, you know, she'd and I'd say, No, mom, I just want to make it like the real snow babies, they're just plain, they're all white. And so we to this day still laugh about that when we hang. Well, I do, and I tell Jolynne, because I said, My snow babies, I leave in the box and I'd take mom's off. Hers are so much better than mine.
SPEAKER_04And she always had like the glitter and she had a new, but it all looked so well put together. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, she just had, and I said, Why didn't I listen to her? As old as I was, had my own way of doing things now.
SPEAKER_04So one thing I did not put on here, and if if it's okay for me to ask at the end, um, can I ask you? Because you were with grandma when she passed away. Yep. And we always say that that was like crazy. The only one that is not a nurse, the only one that's not gonna do anything to bring her back, to bring her back.
SPEAKER_02And I often think about that, Kylie. I often think, what should have I done? You know, I mean, you know, it's 80, she was 83. Is that what it was? 83, I think. And because I even Jerry and I talk about this when he turned 80. He said, I remember telling your mom, if I could live to be 83 and look like you and have your memory, I'd be happy. And I and he said, Here I am, 80. And he said, That's right around the corner. And I said, Yeah, and I said, So she wasn't that old. You know, when I look at us now, right? She really wasn't that old. But I was teaching, she called me at school, the secretary came and got me and said, Your mom's on the phone. And so, and she knew that my mom was staying with us and whatever. And uh, she came and she said, uh, or I answered the phone. She goes, Sandy, I think I'm having a heart attack. I said, Oh God, mom, I'll be right there. She said, Do you think I should call an ambulance? I said, Um, I'll be right there, you know. I should have said yes. I should have said yes. We'll call an ambulance, but I didn't. I got, I mean, I left right then and there from the office, right into the car right outside the school. Went home and she was sitting in the chair. And I said, let's we'll I'll take you to the hospital. We'll go to the clinic, emergency room. I said, we'll go to ER. So helped her down steps. I mean, I had to help her down. Why? I didn't call an ambulance. I I kicked myself for that. But got into this little red car that I had at the time. And as we're driving out of the yard, she she was kind of holding her chest and kind of like she didn't say anything out loud, just mmm, you know, and I put my hand and we turned the corner, we went down, and then turned that area, and we're going on the road. And I reached over and I patted her leg and I said, Precious blood of Jesus over you, mom. I hope the pain goes away. And she was gone. I mean, I so I say that prayer over my kids all the time. My grandkids, they all know it now by heart. I tell them that was the prayer that I think grandma took her to heaven.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I said, took her away from her pain, you know, and I drove down in the ditch. You know, I, you know, you're thinking she's gone already. But I looked at her and I tried to get her to sit back up and I'm drawing. I went down in the ditch. It's lucky I didn't flip that car. Went way down in that ditch, and the grass was tall and back up, and then I just beelined to school and got Jerry and he went with me. We took her to ER, but she was already gone by then, you know. But yeah, that was, you know, and that was the day she was going to take a golf cart ride on the golf course. She had washed her hair, she had, you know, and got all ready so she could go on that golf cart with Joe to go see that golf course because she had never seen it, you know, he was working on it at the time and things, but um, so yeah, good memories, though. You know, I'd you know, and I'd tell myself that was God's way of taking her at Sandy. You you think you have more power than him to keep bring her back?
SPEAKER_04No, you know, she never had to live in a nursing home.
SPEAKER_02She always had like I think what a blessing that she, you know, she always she always said, I don't want to go in a nursing home and I don't want to be a burden on anyone. And like I tried to make her feel like, you know, you're you're helping me. Yeah, you yeah, you get the I start the dinner, you get it on, you know, whatever, and little things like that. And that day she washed my bedding, which I didn't like her to do because that was hard to pull butt, you know, and I wonder too to myself, you know, trying to stretch that sheets on the bottom, you know, whatever would have done to her heart. But yeah, so can't go back. And God had a plan, you know. Yeah. And how she tried to call your mom that day and no answer. I know I know your mom thinks of that often. And I said, Well, you probably would have come and you would have done something.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02You would have tried to bring her back, and I didn't, and yeah, yeah. So, yeah, but like I say, we can't dwell on those, you gotta dwell on the good memories, you know. And I don't think she would have wanted you to like I mean, she would be like, And think of how she I mean, Gloria insisted on bringing her body to the house. She said, Mom always wanted to be at home. She said, We're gonna have her at home.
SPEAKER_04And I this was gonna make me cry. That was the best thing we ever did. Yeah, the best. I I don't call that all the time. Like, that's what I would want. And he's like, That's weird.
SPEAKER_02But I mean, a lot of people thought it was weird, but I would agree with you. I mean, you could just be with her. She was like she was there the whole time.
SPEAKER_00You didn't have a clock, nobody was kicking you out, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Right. It wasn't that cold, stark area, you know.
SPEAKER_04The kids could play, yeah, you could eat, yeah. They had all the food, everybody brought food for the um dining room.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it was very I mean, I'm glad we did it. I'm glad Gloria insisted because as it turned out, it was such a such a blessing to do it that way. Yeah, and I mean, I I know I didn't sleep for two or three days. I know I didn't. Yeah, I dozed because when Jason took me back to Dickinson after the funeral because I had to teach the next day, and Jason took me back, and I remember in the car, he was talking to me and I was talking to him, and in mid-sentence I was gone. He said, You were talking, and all of a sudden your mouth just went shut. I told him I would, I know. I said, I was so tired.
SPEAKER_04I just oh yeah, what a blessing, what a blessing. Like that she had she had voice that you know, when Chip had passed away, we should have him at the house. We should have him at the house. And yeah, um, so for us to have her at the house, I've never had any, I've never seen it done that way. Right. But in the old days, that's what they always did. Yes, and it I just think it was so helpful, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And us just probably, you know, seeing her, yeah, because you guys were young and it was grandma and you stayed with her. I mean, gulls, I mean, she almost raised you guys. And she would tell me, you know, and how she ever did it, and because she'd have you kids, and then she'd have Howard and Perry come and she'd have a full meal for them at lunch. It was like, how did you do that, mom? Yeah, you know, she just she was amazing. Yeah, yeah, how she could finangle everything, you know. She was really good at that, and like I say, praising people. She knew how to make people feel good. Yes, she really did. She knew what just the right thing to say. Like I think of her with Jerry and you know, she'd always say, You you work way too hard, you know, and that golf course, they just don't know what good man they have there. And I remember the night that the uh the night before she passed away, Jerry was late getting home for supper. And in fact, he never even came. I made a plate for him because grandma insisted. She said, You at least make a plate for him. He needs that food. But um, I had rubbed her back that night, and um, and then she said to me as I was leaving the bedroom, she said, and you just be nice to him, he works very hard, which is exactly what my mom says to me when I'm frustrated.
SPEAKER_04She goes, You know what your grandma would say?
SPEAKER_03You be nice to him, make him a pie or something. Right.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. Yeah, so those were her last words to me, really. I mean, other than on the phone that day, but she you just be nice to him. He worked so hard.
SPEAKER_04So anything else?
SPEAKER_02No, we made him cry at the end, so but that's because you would you wouldn't cry if you didn't love, yeah. I mean, that's what I always say. If if you didn't if you love somebody so deeply, there's bound to be tears of love. Yeah, you know, so it's a great family that we have, yes, and she was kind of that glue that that glue that held them together. I know she talked about it. Where when was the last time we ever you know got together? It was when yeah, you know, the whole family, the reunions were planned because of her, yeah, you know. So so hopefully you kids carry on like that with your family. A little better than yeah, but you guys do. You get together with your family.
SPEAKER_03You try, yeah. But thank you.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I appreciate doing this, Kylie. It was fun.
SPEAKER_03It is, it does get to be fun, a little emotional.
SPEAKER_04Thanks for spending a little time with us today on the Simple Lives We Live. If these stories mean something to you, one of the best ways to support the podcast is to follow, share an episode with someone you love, or leave a review. You can also support the show through the links in our website or social media bios. Until next time, don't forget ordinary lives often hold the most extraordinary stories.