SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to The Simple Lives We Live, where we capture the extraordinary stories hidden inside ordinary lives. I'm your host, Kylie Simiano, and each week we sit down to share memories of love, family, hardship, joy, and the moments that shaped us. If these stories mean something to you, you can help support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a review, sharing episodes with family and friends, or donating through the links in our website and social media bios. Your support helps keep these stories alive. Now let's settle in and listen back together. Great, we are back for another episode. I always like to start off with a quote. And today's quote is a faithful life is built in ordinary moments no one else sees. I thought that that was very fitting for you. I try and find a quote that I think kind of very nice. Um, today, my guest, you are just so you, your whole family is so special to me. So I'm so thankful that you're here. I have the beautiful Jean Hardy. So thank you. It was very last minute to being willing to uh come in and do it kind of last minute. So I always like to start off. How old are you?

SPEAKER_00 1:16

I am 71, and in a couple weeks I'll be 72. 72 in a couple weeks. Okay. And where were you born? Yeah, this is yeah, I was born in Cloquet, Minnesota. In Minnesota, you were born. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

So how many siblings do you have? I always like to get the names and the order of the families.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

So okay, I um Barbara was the oldest, and then Thomas, my brother Gary. Then um, I'm right in the middle. So Gene. And then I have another brother, Dale, a brother Dean, and a sister Joanne. So I always say because there's a girl at the beginning and a girl at the end, and I'm the middle, and I have two brothers. You are the middle.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

The middle child. So where did you grow up? And this is gonna, this is a hard one.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

This is a hard one because I was born in Cloquet. A year later, my next brother was born in Valley City.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

A year or two later, my next brother was born in Atumwa, Iowa. My next sister was born in Pipestone, Minnesota. And then we, when I was about fifth grade, we moved back to Valley City.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Fifth grade, you said?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Yeah. Okay. So and then were you mostly Valley City? I was Valley City through fifth. I graduated from Valley City and I went to two years of college there. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

So when you were in Valley City, was it city life?

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Not really a city, but town life, farm life, ranch life. No, it was we were in town, and um, you know, we always kid about, you know, just walk to school. How what is it they always say? You walk, you know, three miles uphill all the way.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

So but you did use some walkie to school.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

But it was pretty my brothers and I would walk to school, we'd walk home, you know.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

So but it wasn't three miles.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

No, it wasn't quite three, but it might have been a mile or two.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah, and when you're young, yeah, that kind of does seem like a long you got short legs, right? Okay, talk to me about your parents. Who were your parents and what were they like as a child?

SPEAKER_00 3:43

My parents, my dad was Francis, and they called him Bud. So, and then my mom was Dorothy.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

And I remember her being called Dot. Was that just Usby? Oh, no.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

She was called Dot. So, and they were both very um positive, easygoing. You know, I don't remember my dad getting, you know, when it was said that we'll talk to your dad when he comes home, it wasn't terrible, it would seem to us, but he didn't get very loud or you know, you were just talked to. Yeah. So how about your mom? My very, very um quiet and very positive, very sincere about all she did. And just she was just a lovely person.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

So she was. I was telling my son about her this morning. I hope that's okay that I shared that. Um, so I was saying I was going to be interviewing you, and I said, Oh, I said, her mom dot was so sweet. And I said, she just reminds reminds me so much of my grandma stockwell. And I said, and they were good friends once she moved here to the beach, and I said she was just the sweetest, the kindest person. Felt like I had almost another grandlife. I know.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Well, and it is she was just very kind, soft spoken, but very strong in her faith, and uh it showed in her life.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

She she was very positive. Like that is something I remember about her, very positive.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

And I always look back and think of all the things that went on in their life, the moving, the you know, the kids who had handicaps, but they were always very you know positive about it, positive about it.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

So when you you mentioned you moving all over the place, what caused you guys to move so much?

SPEAKER_00 5:37

When my dad started as a manager of SNL stores. And what does that stand for? I don't even know, but it was a department, it was a department store type. Okay. And he would go and set one up, and then they'd move him to the next one.

unknown 5:53

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

And he'd set it up. I remember going to the store with them, and you know, on Sundays we'd get to run through all the aisles looking at things. And but um, he did that. And finally, when my when we were in Pipestone and my youngest sister was born, they just decided, because I had a one brother that was um mentally handicapped, he really needed structure, and another brother who was had issues, and they decided they needed to be somewhere where there was a good program for special ed and where they'd have the consistency. So they looked around and they had decided Jamestown or Valley City, and it ended up Valley City. Um, my dad changed jobs in because he sold insurance, then life insurance.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Is that what he did until his passing was life insurance? Okay. Any specific memories you said you talked about running around the department store. Any other specific memories about your mom and dad that you have that you want to share?

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Boy, that's a hard one. I um, you know, I I think of it, they we had seven kids and mom and dad, and we talk about uh in the summer, they were from St. Cloud and Mankato, Minnesota. And we would we had a trailer we pulled behind the station wagon, and we'd put the suitcases in there, and seven kids and mom and dad all in the station wagon, and we'd go to St. Cloud first, spend a day or two there, go to Mankato, visit my dad's family, and then go back home. That was always our summer vacation. Although we also did some camping. We had a tent and we'd go to the lake, and camps, true camping, true camping, true camping.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Um, what do you remember doing uh for fun as a kid?

SPEAKER_00 7:50

You know, we just I was just telling my grandkids this week they wouldn't, we in Minnesota and Valley City, there's lots of trees. I said my brothers and I would go out and play and we'd build a little tree house or go climb trees, or we rode bike and we roller skated with the old roller skates that had a key, and we just wandered around.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I find that interesting, the key.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Yeah, it locked on the bottom, it locked the skates into place.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Gotcha. I was wondering, I'm like, why the key?

SPEAKER_00 8:22

I know, but with my brothers and sisters, we do things.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

So um, now what were some of the chores that you had growing up?

SPEAKER_00 8:32

We we had to help clean house or my brothers that were closest to me, um, we had to make up a contract, and I still have that on every week. This is your week to wash, this is your week to dry dishes, and your week to clean up. So we'd do that until my one brother got more involved in sports, and then I would have to help with his. In fact, he and I both had a paper route, and when he started sports, I'd do mine and his.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

So well, and we'll get to that. I I do want to mention now when I say the names, Thomas, Mark, you do have Michael in the middle, but I Thomas and I graduated together. So Gene has three sons, and they gave me some questions too to ask, or things, some topics to discuss. So Mark had mentioned that you had some siblings that were handicapped, and that over time um he would say three of them more behavior, you know. Yeah. Um, and that that you had a big role in caring for them. So tell me more about that.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

How well, you know, my older sister Barbara, you know, and Bobby, of course, was very involved with them. But then when she went to college, she was only like 17, and so I would have been 10. And so then it moved on to me, even at a young age, just watching out for them. As I got older, I mom and dad could go for a weekend, maybe, and I could watch the kids. And you know, um, but we were just always very involved in taking care of them. And and of course, Dean would have been the the one with the biggest handicap. But you know, Gary and Joanne were not able to really take care of everybody.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

And yeah, so did you okay, fifth grade, you said you went to you started at Valley City. Was there was there big school?

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Well, we started in a Catholic school. Okay, they did have one, and we we had a Catholic school and we went there for like three years or so. Then they started a higher tuition, so we went to the public school, and then the Catholic school closed anyway. So um the public school, I had a class of uh 170 or 80 kids.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

So you had a good size.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Yeah. Any favorite subject that you had in school? You know, I I really enjoyed like history and uh science and things like that. I uh enjoyed them all really. I can't say that I had I had business classes too, and my mom had a two-year business degree. And I thought I'm going into business. Well, the more I got involved. So I took all these business classes, but then I also took some science and you know, it varied.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

So your mom, you said she had a two-year business degree.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Maybe not even a two-year, maybe a nine-month, but she had a degree. She did have a degree. Did she work? She worked before she got married. She did. Okay. You know, she asked about going to work, and my dad just thought she should stay home with the kids, especially with the degree of help they needed.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

So but she did that's interesting that she did have some education after.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

And then she actually, after my dad passed away, she went back for a little more business. But then the school, it was a private school where my brother, who was handicapped, went, the teacher passed away. And they asked my mom to step in. And she did. And that's she was involved with uh the special needs kids till she retired.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

So wow. I didn't realize so. How old were you at that time when she went back to work?

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Well, I would have been, I was 20 when my dad passed away. Okay. So she, and in fact, I was just leaving for school to my knot. And I it was in July you passed away, and I felt so bad leaving because she still had two or three of the kids at home with her helping them. But my brother Tom came back to Valley City and they wanted me to go finish what I wanted to do.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

So okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

So Tom came home to help, or he kind of came home to oversee. He was going to school in at UND. Okay. And he he had been in the service for a while and then came back, went to UND, and then finished at Valley City State College.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

So and what did he get a degree in then?

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Business.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Oh, it was a business. So he could use it in that area and stuff too. Okay, I gotcha. Any favorite teachers that you had in school?

SPEAKER_00 13:38

You know, I traveled. I'm I had so many when I was young that I might remember names. Um I was just always happy. I didn't have any that I didn't like. I liked them all, you know. Um I'm trying to.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Which is good that nobody stands out as being a good one.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Nobody stands out, really. And I feel bad, but like I said, I I just moved around. I went, you know, came to Valley City, went to a Catholic school with the nuns, and then I went to the public school.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

And yeah, you had a lot of a lot of students. It it's probably a little bit more difficult. Like in a small town, you see them all all the time. Yeah, yeah. Um, what were Christmases like then for you growing up?

SPEAKER_00 14:23

We uh always had the tradition that we would uh we'd say a rosary after we had supper. We usually had like um pizza or we had snacks. Then we'd, you know, pray. Then dad would have to take the younger kids for a ride to go see if we'd see Rudolph. And lo and behold, Rudolph and Santa always showed up while we were gone. The presents were under the tree. So and then it was, you know, more for my brothers and younger ones. So uh but uh then we'd always have we'd open presents Christmas Eve, and that was uh Did you go to Mass Christmas Eve too?

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Like midnight massive.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

When we got older, my brother and I would always go to midnight mass. Okay, and then we would come home from midnight mass, and we made sure we had Christmas cookies out so we could have cookies and milk on Christmas Eve. So and then Christmas Day we'd we'd have people around, maybe neighbors or somebody my mom and dad worked with, and we'd usually go have dinner, have a big two-family dinner.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

So you didn't grow up close to a lot of family then?

SPEAKER_00 15:40

No, no, you didn't. Okay. So we we wouldn't see, we didn't see my mom's family a lot. My mom and dad were both the younger siblings in the family, but we would go spend time with my dad's family in Mankato. So I knew the aunts and uncles, and I knew some of the cousins that were a little closer to my age, but most of them were grown and gone.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

So yeah. So this is so random. Yeah. When it comes to Thanksgiving, because I've never asked anybody about Thanksgiving before, but I do remember Thomas saying that you did not like turkey. And so for Thanksgiving, you always make chicken?

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Do you make chicken? Oh, I like turkey. I think that memory of his needs to be fixed. I like chicken. I have to laugh because Don is the one he did not like chicken, and he liked turkey at first, but he didn't like leftovers. So I'm wondering if Tom's confused. Anyway. Well, maybe I'm confused. I know. But that's what but somebody didn't like turkey, I thought. No, we always made turkey.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

We did, okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

So I don't know about Tom. I'm gonna have to talk to him.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Boy, it could be I know I know there's just always that turkey in my head when it comes to Thanksgiving. I'm like, did you guys have chicken?

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Or did you well it just sticks out in my head because Don didn't like chicken until he was about 55 or and all of a sudden he started having a little, and then now he'll pick chicken for supper.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

So oh, interesting. How about birthdays? Were birthdays a big deal for you guys growing up?

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Or um did you celebrate them? We celebrate them. We always have cake and you know, that kind of stuff. Um probably not big parties or anything. You know, I'm thinking like today, you always have you know, your kids, you just do you have a few friends over and have parties. We didn't really do that, but we always celebrated. Yeah, I think that's important for anybody. You know, I always once in a while a year of a family that doesn't celebrate, and I think, you know, how sad. Yeah, at least have a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

I know, yeah. Any um specific gifts that you ever got for Christmas or for birthdays that I really remember.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Yeah, this is terrible. I can't even think of, you know, I think of my dolls when I was younger, you know, that was always a big, big thing. The Barbie dolls and the the other dolls. That's uh pretty special. But too, I say, you know, we I don't have I think of people who still have some of their toys, but we don't. My family just didn't. You didn't keep that stuff, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

That's not a bad thing. No, it isn't. No, you said for summers, your vacations were typically going back to Minnesota seeing family. What else did you do in the summers?

SPEAKER_00 18:45

Well, my brother, we'd take swimming lessons. We had a pool, we go to the pool, and um like I say, we just play outside. I just remember running and the free play. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Just did you do any sports in the summer? Did you do any baseball or anything? No. Did your brothers do any of that? I don't nobody did anything in the summer as far as I don't think really, no.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

You know, my brothers were in sports during the school year. And I laughed because I was in, it was called GAA, Girl the Girls Athletic Association. Oh, and we would have a night during the week that we'd play basketball or volleyball or but as far as school port school sports for girls, they were just coming in. I could have run track and I ran track one year, but then I transferred to the public school and then I didn't go out there. So um there wasn't girls' basketball necessarily. I don't remember my brothers doing a lot of sports in the summer.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Because you were in the school, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

They did all did well, the two did football and basketball, and my one brother wrestled one year and kind of tried a lot of different things then. Yeah, and I'd go and I might be uh for wrestling one year, I was one of the student assistants, you know, just helped.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

So yeah, like a manager or something. Okay. Oh, we just talked about any other vacations. You said the the traveling to Minnesota, but did you ever take a big vacation?

SPEAKER_00 20:23

No, I mean not like no, I know, not like yes. No, we didn't. We'd go for a weekend, we might go camping. Or uh when we when I was in, we moved to Valley City, so probably when I was in junior high, we bought a cabin on the lake, just a very, you know, it doesn't have running water, it doesn't have you know, it had electricity, but we would go there every weekend that we could. My dad would always say just to get away from the phone because he was selling insurance, and it's like you get calls, and because we didn't have our cell phones, you know, so we'd go out to the lake and just then my brothers and I would we'd go hiking out there and yeah, and like play in the water. And my brother and I once were rowing a boat. We didn't have a boat, but we must have rented it. We were rowing it out in the lake, the wind came up and it blew us to the other side of the lake. Luckily, we just sat there wondering what to do because of course you can't call. They they watched us though, they knew, and they drove around and came and found us.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

But uh, did you have life jackets on and stuff too?

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Or was it necessarily we and I think of us because we would because there was seaweed later on in the summer, we would take inner tubes and go out to the middle of the lake and swim. Not a big deal. But I think of it now or you know, after that, my mom did not swim. And to watch your kids go out there and just pray that they would not drown while you were. were watching them and they'd be able to float a little bit and so yeah you just uh but you know we just just played it wandered had might add uh you know little fire and marshmallows and stuff like that was your mom another random project was your mom a good cook very good yeah because I feel like you are a good cook Bobby was a good great cook so your mom was a good cook because you guys probably didn't eat out a whole lot then either I mean very seldom once in a while but uh yeah she was a good cook and and I always laugh because if she sent my dad to the grocery store just like well I shouldn't categorize a lot of men might do this but he uh would get distracted and he'd come home with something random that he's gonna cook and he would cook my dad would cook for us you know and we would have Saturday night was our popcorn and pop night and sometimes we'd have pizza homemade pizza you know was just because we would get pop on the weekends maybe two nights in a row and you'd only get so much this is your glass of pop and that was I had to share a can or a bottle a bottle yeah I know whatever what were they probably the glass coke was it coke is that mostly what they had there or was it I'm thinking it was you know I'm trying to think of what kind what kind of pop was back then and and a random thing too I have my brother who was the he was mentally handicapped you know very probably at a preschool level whatever but he loved pop and we would buy the bottles of pop and put them going down to the basement on a shelf well once we went to get the bottles and they were all drank down to exactly the same amount and Dean had gone and drank out of each of them but to have the same amount the idea that oh if they're all the same they won't notice so you just never know how old was he when he did that he was probably um 10 or 11 that's so funny. Yeah I just can't believe he did that and but what a great memory though too that you I know I always think of him he had to sneak in there and close the door and go drink it and and how much that probably actually added up to if you think about if he's at the same level of all those uh yes or whatever they were I know I know what were your ambitions or dreams when you were young was there anything that you thought you would that you wanted to be not necessarily I you know I like I said I changed my mind I was going to go into business accounting I really enjoyed that kind of stuff then I had decided I worked with um we had a it was called a youth ARC and ARC at the time it's changed now but was association for retarded citizens you know now they've taken that word out but I started working with them when I was probably in junior high we had a group and we would take the students and we'd take them to like a canteen and we'd play music and play games with them one night a week there was a group of us that did that and when the Special Olympics started in North Dakota I was right there when the first special olympics in Valley City took place and I was very involved in that and how many years were you involved with Special Olympics? Well I started in I'm trying to think well it was at least 72 and I was probably um we had a a state group and I was president of that group and we would we were always involved and it had to be through college so so for about eight six eight years.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Is it still in Valley City?

SPEAKER_00 26:06

No it is changes I think it's usually like in Fargo Fargo now okay um you talked about everywhere you lived okay so your dad you said passed away at 20 when I was when you were 20 yeah um how did he pass away he had congestive heart failure and it's you know the night he passed away I still he would get these coughs and and what his lungs were filling with fluid and uh he started coughing at bedtime and so mom called down called the ambulance wouldn't you know the ambulance is under you know they were working on it so they had moved it well my brother and I finally got through and they came but he had passed away before they they even got there. So it was pretty quick.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

How old was he?

SPEAKER_00 26:59

54 he had just turned 54 and the interesting thing is he had an older not very much older um that passed away six months before him of the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Really?

SPEAKER_00 27:14

Yeah and he we didn't really know him that well because he lived in California but uh that the two they were the only two boys in the family and they had all the sisters and the sisters lived till 80 or 90 and the boys the boys both died young. So it makes you kind of wonder it's I'm sure it's a hereditary thing but uh how did that how did your mom manage that because you said there was still some at home and yeah well and I always think of that I give her credit because you know back then we didn't have a lot of money the house then was paid for he had whatever on that or the car was the house wasn't so she still has to make payments and she didn't have a job dad took care of all the financial so I mean we had to go through everything and see where the money was and what we had to pay off and but she handled it very well I mean it was hard but she still had of course my brother Dean at home my sister Joanne they were both special needs my brother Gary who was also special needs was still at home but he was moving to Fargo to get a job he was in a program so so I mean it was still had to be kind of but you know they don't have the I feel and maybe I'm wrong on this I feel like there were not as many programs or things to help back then that there are now maybe there was I don't I think that there was some and they she was very involved in the ARC at the time so she had but still not you know it was just uh she had a lot we had a lot we had to kind of sort through and and she uh she made it just fine you know I give her credit for just all that she did and handled it all and yeah it's I we I just never would have that's amazing for at that time too how okay so you said you went to college now I did hear that you graduated valedictorian from your high school well we we I always I was told I was first year second but that was the year they did away with it they decided they're not gonna recognize those people so but yes my guidance counselor told me that so you didn't officially have the title in a sense in a sense but it was never acknowledged after yeah yeah okay so you're a smarty pants yeah I was just lucky and then you went to college at Valley City I went to Valley City for two years. I knew I was going to kind of go into teaching or something so I took all my basic teaching classes in two years. Then I went to mine because I knew I wanted to go into special ed but I really wasn't sure which area special ed so I went up there to register and there's these lines and the speech pathology line wasn't very long I got in and they convinced me to be a speech pathologist. So and I went for a year and I I got my degree in three and a half years two to I got an elementary and a speech pathology. So then I was up at my nuts so I went to one I applied for master's and I got it one quarter of master's but then I never made it back to finish but so why didn't you make it back to finish it was very hard because I came to Beach and then I actually taught in beach for two years and I resigned because I was going to go back closer to the other end of the state help my mom but I met this guy and I never got out of town. So then I think it was a pretty good it was a good it really worked out well but I always thought in the summer it's they didn't have the online programs then. Right and to the young kids and Don was you know first he had the car business but then he's farming and that's his busiest time and it just made it hard to a few summers I thought about it but I never never went to go and finish to go and finish that so was that for you said that your master's in teaching yeah is that what it was okay it would have been a master's in speech pathology okay but gotcha and then of course I was in speech pathology for 12 years and I really wanted a classroom so then I would have changed anyway. Yeah okay so how did you end up in beach in the first place? You know I interviewed for jobs in speech pathology I interviewed for one in Bismarck and then I interviewed I was I went to Dickinson and I'm thinking I'm interviewing for a job in Dickinson. And I went through the interview and they said at the end of the interview you can have the job you can choose either beach or Bellfield well I knew okay it's not Dickinson but Bobby and Howard had just moved back to Beach. And I thought you know okay that'd be kind of nice so I came to beach because they were here and I thought I'll start there gotcha and then you plan on going back after your second year and then you meet Don.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

And okay so so who is your husband and we keep saying Don.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

Yeah I know so Don is your husband how did you how did you actually meet yeah Don Hardy and what we did he actually you tell people he will yeah he will go through the story how he heard about me from his dad because his dad was on the school board and we've got this teacher that's leaving you need to meet her before she Don knew me of me before I knew of him because I was leaving and we met actually up at the 10th hole finally which was you know now is the restaurant it was a restaurant and a bar and they were having a I was in the JCS and he was in the JCs we're having a gathering for that it was it's a group and they don't have it here anymore but it's just uh like they do social civic oh okay they do like we had Halloween parties for the kids or you know have a citywide Halloween party or so we did that kind of stuff. Um so I had heard about Don because or that this guy asked about me and I wasn't out and but we happened to meet that night and uh the rest is history. We met in April and we got married in September of the next year. So now how how did your wedding go down was everything good was there any everybody was able to make it there was no yep I had my aunts from my dad's side even from Minnesota came all the way down you know so it went it went well I'm trying to think did you get married in beach or did you get married in beach oh it wasn't beach okay because I had more we had more people we knew in beach and you know I think back to then we didn't have the big we had I had made candies with a friend of mine you know and we had little sandwiches we had a bigger Swenda and Gary Brayton cooked out at the farm and then we went to Jack's club and we were going to hire a band but the guy said oh we already have a band why don't you just come over so so you did the reception stuff at Jack's we did the reception we had a a reception at the church basement okay then we went out to the farm had a dinner and then we went to Jack's club for a dance fun yeah it worked I mean back then it wasn't such a big deal and as much of the big production as much of yeah was was it hot that day with you excuse me that's okay of your wedding was it hot or no it was a beautiful day oh nice it was a Saturday afternoon um we have pictures from the church the trees are all golden behind us I mean they're just beautiful color and it was just it was a very nice day so and you know September usually is it's funny because we got engaged and Don told his dad that you know we're planning our wedding and Charlie just being who he said well don't have it during harvest or I may not come you know I thought I didn't even think of that yeah so actually they were harvesting the morning they finished the morning we got married so Don remembers them going out to the field and finished and so they make it work.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

Yep they do they're used to and he would have come I know but uh yes so how old were you then when you got married Don and I were both 25. You're both 25 okay so you guys are that close um now we said earlier you have three sons Thomas Michael and Mark I got the order right I know two of them a little bit more than I had more than the other yeah that's okay um but if I remember correctly you guys had a stillbirth we did our first hit was a boy um I carried him to full term and right at the like a week before um we were supposed to go in and have him I wasn't feeling any movement so I went up to the doctor our doctor was Dr.

SPEAKER_00 37:14

Marvella at the beach we were gonna we had you know Thomas at the beach clinic too but we were going to have the baby here well he didn't sense any movement so he sent us to Bismarck and they did the ultrasound and he had passed so I had him naturally they induced me okay and we actually got to hold him even but uh we had we had it checked and they think what happened is the cord got wrapped around or no they that and the placenta tore away so he wasn't getting his nourishment but anyway yes we uh that was hard because it's your first one everything's ready for him and my mom came out and she kind of helped me pack stuff away you did right away I did and I I was thinking I don't know if I would have done but I did it was okay and you know I just I remember thinking you know why God why yeah but I always think there's a reason I might not know it but maybe did you ever name the baby? Yes his name and we buried it we had a service at the um cemetery Matthew James Matthew James so which it kind of is nice you know kind of a final and you know we can still go to his plot and so yep and he would have been a year older than Thomas so he was gonna ask what's this he was born in April of 82 and Thomas was born in March of 83. So did that then affect how you when you found out that you were pregnant with Thomas how did how do you then process yeah wondering that's the best way to put it and I did all the way through you know when Thomas was when I was pregnant you just thankful for movement and you do just think and and they watch in fact I we went had it checked a little deeper they did a little you know everything looks okay and um when I was ready to have Thomas I remember you know because I didn't go through the up to the end with Matthew just my water breaking and of course I'd call Bobby and what do you think? Well you know and then about seven o'clock that night we were watching basketball and Bobby said maybe you should go up to the hospital and we did and Thomas was born up here as one of the last in fact in his class I think there's about five five of them that you were one of them you know all born around the same time so yeah but yeah you always and you're just so thankful when it's done that okay he's went okay yeah and he's good so yeah yeah do you ever do you look back and go what if yeah like what would they have been doing what would they have been like I mean especially because you did get to hold him you got to know what he looked like yeah I mean that yeah which is such a blessing but so hard at the same time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

And uh yeah you kind of think back that um would there have been would we have had four hardy boys or would there and then I kid Mark would Mark not have been there and what would we do without Mark so what grandkids or what grandkids or like you say or where would they be or you know yeah it's hard to tell and sometimes that just makes you appreciate yeah the ones that come after they're here they're held like yeah little things aren't that important or you know what I mean little things that they do to annoy you I know aren't as important.

SPEAKER_00 40:59

Um no you were I'm gonna go back a little bit but camp counselor yes I was a speech I when I graduated from well you know I worked in camps while I was going high school I would go out and help around Valley City they had camps and one summer I was in charge of the Easter seals camp at the college at Valley City. So and we had kids come in during the day for like six weeks and did things with them. And then when I graduated from college I got hired as a speech pathologist for Camp Grassick which is a camp for you know handicapped kids and stuff and so I worked there that summer and uh I enjoyed that it was I enjoyed the camps you know I always think they're fun for those kids too just oh what a what an awesome thing to be able to do and a little break from their normal yeah so what what jobs did have you all had like up until working as a teacher did you have different jobs when you were in high school in college and stuff like that in high school I remember one summer work I kidd somebody the other day as a waitress that was probably my first job a friend of mine her parents owned a restaurant so I worked not very long because I think I was only 15 you know maybe uh but I remember the first time serving people and I forgot to give them silverware and I was a kid about that. It's like oh okay you need silverware too yeah but I I would work a lot of time I mean I'd spend a lot of time helping my mom with my stress I was wondering if you could even because you were helping yeah I uh one of my first jobs out of high school I worked like three or four summers for the highway department and I worked the first summer we kitted because we were the first there were four of us the first four women the highway department in Valley City hired. So I always kid they really didn't know what to do with us.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Really?

SPEAKER_00 43:06

So we we would go to the rest areas or along the side of the road and pull weeds and you know they actually let me drive the truck once back to Valley City. I I think they thought oh I don't know if we should let her but um and then the next summers I worked for the highway department I would do the they would be working on the road and I would keep track of all the loads and total them and where they were coming from and do you feel like that was a little bit more productive probably they finally had an idea they finally had them put you in charge of something yeah and actually one summer after I met Don I worked for the highway department here doing that. So um some other job well I worked for the Easter seals one summer and um I worked for the city health nurse one summer and I laughed because she it was she her office was at the high School and it's like um there's this guy from Sanburn, he's a but he might come in and need an allergy shot. So I need to teach you how to give shots and uh so I had to practice on an orange. Well, he never came in, so I don't know if he never came in because he heard about who was in the office, anyway. So a variety of things. A variety of things, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:24

Now, how how long were you a teacher for?

SPEAKER_00 44:28

I was a speech pathologist for 12 years and in the classroom for 20, so 32.

SPEAKER_01 44:34

32 total. How do you feel like education has changed then? Since when you started to win state. Yeah, yeah. And it's uh when did you retire from teaching? What year?

SPEAKER_00 44:46

2008. Yeah, or yeah, 2008, May of 2008. And it just that's almost been 20 years. I know that blows my mind. And I always think because I didn't know if I was ready, but we had moved to the farm in 2007. So I taught one year I drove from the farm, had a few snowy days, you know, and and Don it I could retire, and there's things I could do on the farm to help out. So I retired, but it was a hard change because all my friends were in town here and and teaching, but um the changes in teaching, I mean, I could every year it would change. How do you do you teach phonics or don't you? Do you how do you discipline and how do you you know the parent involvement and you know, usually very involved, and then you'd find some that kids were on their own, and it's like my goodness, I hard to believe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:53

I also think too, me having kids in well, yeah, college, high school grade school now. Um, my I don't think my parents ever knew what my grades were until they got a report card. And now you can check every assignment, every go online and follow it or whatever. Yes, you know, the kids being like, well, they haven't entered it yet or whatever. And I think, wow, sometimes we probably have too much connection with that, and that's gotta be hard for teachers as well anymore.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

Um, even just the technology and fighting the technology. I don't know what it's like in Beach now, but whether they can have cell phones or not, or just I'm not sure. I'm kind of out of touch with that, but uh yeah, it's good. Do you wish it was back to how it kind of was when you had first started out? I mean, you didn't have the technology, but everything was I I kind of do because I think you had a real good handle on who was learning and who's not.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

And I I think technology definitely has its place, but the one-on-one or a small group, and and I mean teachers still do that, but technology does get in there.

SPEAKER_01 47:08

Yeah. How your opinion on when you were talking about whether to teach phonics or not, things like that. I'm sure your perspective is so different, being that you come from a speech pathology. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

You know, I just think it's so important to like the phonics at a young age is so important. It's a basis to give them. And granted, there are kids that don't need it, but in a large group, there's kids that do. You know, I just think there's so many different you need to touch on different ways of of learning so that you know, yeah, hopefully you can touch all of them.

SPEAKER_01 47:53

Did you I gotta think what grade did I have you in first grade? Yep.

SPEAKER_00 47:58

Okay. Did you always teach first grade? I taught first grade, and then one year the principal asked me to go to second. And I was torn because I really enjoyed first grade, but I did go. And I'm trying to think if I taught a straight second, but I also taught a first second. Yeah, and that was I give those teachers credit, like you know, Galva's always done that. They are so organized, and and I can see so many advantages, but you have to be, you know.

SPEAKER_01 48:28

Yeah, I do they do that anymore? Because I remember not up here. Okay, I I was in a class with Jared. Maybe it was fifth, sixth, or fourth, fifth.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Yeah, they and I always wondered why they did that. Yeah, it's because you know, they would always go like in the lower grades, it'll only go to a certain number. And it let's say it's they won't go over 20, and there's 25 kids. Well, you they one year I taught first grade and they did divide that 25 kids. One of us had, you know, 12 and one 13 or whatever, but sometimes you can't do that, and so they need to pull from the other it the that class size. And now the classes are pretty standard. I mean, they kind of stay small within a range.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

So what do you feel like was like a sweet spot for teachers to teach in, to teach like number of uh students?

SPEAKER_00 49:22

Number of, hmm. Well, in the lower grades, they do need to be a little smaller because they are very needy, you know, wondering about this, that. And in the upper grades, I think they range from 20 to 25. There again, depending on. I had a class once that was 12 kids, but the special ed director saw I needed. He got me two aides because of the degree of help the class needed. And they weren't in there all the time, but they'd come in and out and help the kids that needed it.

SPEAKER_01 49:54

So I just think of these a lot of classrooms now, not in necessarily the beach, but in other communities, and they're so large and they need so much help, or you have so many kids that don't even speak English, and then you have, you know, I know a teacher, it is, and I see the problems now, you know, teaching there.

SPEAKER_00 50:14

You get bigger groups, it it does make it very hard.

SPEAKER_01 50:17

And yeah. Hard to not have kids fall through the cracks, so to speak, because you're trying to deal with so many different things, and now safety is such a big thing, I feel like, with a lot of schools too, which is sad because I don't ever remember being I know like that. I was just like, who's in my class the next year? Who's my teacher? You know, that was our biggest concern over the summer and um whatnot. So um I think this was Thomas's question. What has it been like being involved in a family farm where the ladies do end up doing quite a bit of work?

SPEAKER_00 50:54

Well, personally, I would have uh have had a hard time not doing something. I always I just like to be involved and know what's going on. And um I'd never lived on a been involved in a family farm. So, and at first I was teaching and Don was farming, but his dad was farming. You know, slowly it's came down to Don farming, and then Mark came back, of course. But uh I still like to be involved and know what's going on. And I always used to tell him, you know, how much have you gotten seeded? Well, a little bit. Well, I like to know how many acres are you half done, and you know, so I like to be involved so I know where they're at. Yeah. So does he typically do certain fields first? Nope, they always it depends on what they're planting. Okay, that's like peas went in first this year, or you know. Okay. What do you guys all plant? A lot. We we're planting peas and canola and durum and spring wheat and winter wheat, and some years we plant lentils or sunflowers, and so it gets to be a lot to earn credit. Yeah. To figure out which field is going to be which, and they rotate crops and so a lot of planning for them.

SPEAKER_01 52:20

What has motherhood meant to you?

SPEAKER_00 52:26

Um, a lot. I I mean, I just love my kids to death, every one of them, and they're all special for a different reason. You know, the oldest is wonderful, and I mean, I see some of his, then the middle, you know, great. I just they all have different talents. The the youngest, you know, I just uh am in awe of all of them. They've all done so well.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

I said we are blessed with healthy kids and independent, and so um do you ever feel like with motherhood, do you feel like you like missed out on anything?

SPEAKER_00 53:06

I don't know. I I tried to be involved with the kids, you know, talk to them at night and you know, get them out of bed in the morning. Yeah, I don't know that I, you know, we Don and I would get to their sporting events and different activities. So I'm sure you always kind of as a mother kind of, I wish I would have done this, or I wish, and I don't know what just uh, you know, as you look back on it, because it does go so fast, you know. You wish you could kind of go back and just spend a little more time doing this with them or and of course sometimes when you want to, they don't want you to. Mom, just leave me alone.

SPEAKER_01 53:49

Yeah, soaking it up a little bit more in a sense, and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

I mean because you are busy doing all the things, and yeah, and you always I always think because you always hope as a mother, did I do this right? Did I do but you did what you could, and you did the best you could, I hope, and you know, like yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:09

How about being a grandma?

SPEAKER_00 54:11

Oh, that's great, it's wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 54:14

What what do you feel like is the the biggest, maybe the best part of being a grandma versus being a mom?

SPEAKER_00 54:24

I think with a grandma, you're a little more relaxed, you know, and Don always get, you know, if they get noisy, you can send them home. No, no, they're all, I mean, you get to really look and talk to them. And I mean, and they of course, at least our grandkids do, they just love na'am on par here, you know, and they um so that it's just fun to soak it in and and to see the little things they do that, oh, I'm sure my kids did that too, but you know. And when you're the mom, you're like, hurry up, we gotta get somewhere. Yeah, and I always feel too like going to church and oh, they're so noisy. And I would always tell them, you know what, people there love it. I love the noise. I love that kids are there, and don't worry. But as a parent, you're always, I hope they're not disturbing anybody, I hope they're behaving, I hope they're, you know. Yeah. So as a grandparent, you can relax a little more.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

And I always think too, when it comes to say church or going out to eat or whatever, and people kind of there's definitely the people who roll their eyes when you walk in with kids, right? The only way my kids are ever gonna learn how to behave in situations is to go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:41

And I think most people love it, they they understand it. There's always that. I had one of the boys once in church rocking on the and the lady was an older lady in front of us. Would you please have him stop that?

unknown 55:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

You know, you can only do so much.

SPEAKER_01 55:58

I think some forget to, yeah, that that's minimal for what they could be doing. I know, right? I know.

SPEAKER_00 56:03

And yes, they talk, and yes, they do this, and uh yes, you know, I still I remember the parent once that was taking their child out of church. It wasn't anybody we knew, but uh the child says, Are you gonna spank me? And it's like, oh my gosh, the parents probably devastated.

SPEAKER_01 56:20

Right. It's a good thing you couldn't see the parents' face. I know, I know we'd be red, and yeah. Now, Thomas wanted me to ask you about your prayer life, because your prayer life is a big thing to you. And he said that you do keep a lot of people in your prayers.

SPEAKER_00 56:37

I do. I try to, I have a little journal thing that I write names in, and because I getting to that age too where it's whose name did I just write in there? But um, it is very important because I think prayer is very important. And I always say, I always pray for my kids, and I pray for their wives and and their kids, and you just hope, because life is not gonna be easy, there's gonna be times, you know, but you just hope that they can get through it and know that you know things get better if you have a bad day or whatever. So it's it's just so important and grounds you though too.

SPEAKER_01 57:22

Yeah, you know, yeah, perspective, I feel like yeah, yeah. Do you when you say you have a list of names? Do you tend to pray for those that are here, pray for those who have also passed away? Does that make you think of all of your family?

SPEAKER_00 57:43

If you're mom and dad. Yep, it does. And I do, you pray for their souls and hope they're they're at peace. And um, and you know, it like I said, life is hard. Why? Because I lost Bobby and Joanne in the same year, my two only sisters, and they passed away within months of each other. And you know, why, you know, and you question, oh, if they were only here, but uh there's a reason, you know, and you just are thankful that you know, because it in my belief they're in a good place, and yeah, we always kid they're up there having Bobby was the overseer of kind of, you know, she was that oldest child, and she had Gary was the first, you know, Dean, Joanne. They all have passed away, and I just laughed, thinking Bobby's up there telling them now you guys need to listen. So who is all still with us? My two brothers. I have an older brother, Tom, okay, and a younger brother, Dale. Dale.

SPEAKER_01 58:47

Okay, so Bobby, Gary, Dean, and Joanne have all passed away.

SPEAKER_00 58:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:54

Passed away.

SPEAKER_00 58:56

And you said Bobby and Joanne pretty they were within Bobby died in you know March. March and Joanne in June. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:06

And we had Bobby's funeral on Thomas's birthday.

SPEAKER_00 59:10

Yeah. I know I said to Thomas, uh, kind of a hard time, but you know, yeah, what do you do?

SPEAKER_01 59:17

Yeah, but you raise such good kids that that is not important to them. No, no, I know. And do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 59:23

Like it is a birthday we can celebrate. Like that is just what's it? And I'm the type of person with my birthday coming up. Well, Don always kids we want to finish seeding before your birthday. Well, that doesn't always happen. And I say, you know, you can celebrate a birthday any day. Yes, it doesn't have to be on your birthday. And they always kid me about well, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 59:44

Whatever. Uh, this is a random one. What's your favorite song of all time?

SPEAKER_00 59:52

Oh dear, that is a random one because I can't even think of what it is. I enjoy music, I just enjoy listening to it play and variety. Do you have a certain favorite certain like type of music? Is there I I tend to listen to the country, maybe the older country, you know, 90s, or you know, you tend to go back to that kind of stuff. Sometimes I'll just because sometimes Don's the type that will have it quiet. But if I'm by myself in the house and there's I don't have to listen for anything, I'll turn on just some music in the background. And yeah, you know, I'm sure I have some favorites, but right now I can't think. I just, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:33

You helping on the farm, I'm assuming you probably drove green truck a lot, or no?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:39

No, no, no, because the boys were always around, and then by the time the boys were gone and they needed a truck moved, I said, I'm too old to learn.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:48

Yeah, but we we've got hired hands. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:52

So even when the boys were little and didn't have driver's license and stuff, I didn't know because I wasn't, you know, when the boys were little, um, we didn't farm quite as much. Don was out there, and I would maybe bring food once in a while, but uh okay. I I drove truck, like if it was a smaller, it was they were green trucks back in the 70s. Now they have semis.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:19

I have driven not with green, I've moved trucks, you know, the green smaller trucks, but not taking like a green truck.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:26

Not taking a green elevator.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:28

I have not done that, and I have no desire to when they talk about what could happen, and I'm thinking, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:34

So that see, us growing up, that was a big time that we would. I don't even, I don't know that we had a working radio in great in our green. I know, see, that's it. So we sang as a family all the time. Yeah. But you know, now I look back. I mean, my mom made it fun, but I mean, there's things that you do on a farm that are just so different when when you are in that, then somebody who does not grow up on a farm and in that environment would not understand.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:05

I know that like what is going on?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:07

Yeah, we any unique talents that people would be surprised to hear about you?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:15

Not really, you know. I've always I loved music. I wish I would have some musical training, but going from school to school, and then when I finally got to the final school, you had to try out individually, like, and I didn't have any instrument or any music. I love music, though. I wish I would have an instrument or something I played. But no, I'm can't think of, you know, they always Don will kid me, but uh nothing special that I do, just keep busy.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:48

You know, you you there is something special that you do, and I'll I'll do a give a little bit at the end, but um any have you spent much time traveling in your life?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:00

Um now that uh Donna, you know, we go to Arizona in the winter now. We bought a place down there, so we spend three months this year closer to four, you know, kind of back and forth. And we are actually going to Italy in the fall. We just signed up for a pilgrimage type. Uh Bishop is taking some, so we're gonna do that. That'll be a big thing. And and we go to, we've gone to places, you know, like you know, Nashville and New York. We took a trip to New York a few years ago because I always wanted to see a Broadway play. So we went there and on a tour and we saw lots of stuff, and so and we're going to the we've gone out to the coast several times. We're going the whole family's coming. The Hardy's the older Hardy cousins are having a reunion, but all the kids are coming.

unknown 1:03:52

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:52

And we're gonna spend time out in Cannon Beach and stuff. So very cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:58

So it'll be a bigger group then.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:00

It'll be not a huge group, but uh I'm thinking there might be Don might you know maybe he'll have 30, 40 cousins. His cousins, a lot of them live out on the coast, so okay. A lot of them from around here that are in Fargo or wherever, Bismarck, they a lot of them aren't going, but uh we're gonna go out and that's awesome. And you know, we've done things like family trips, go to Disneyland and some of the So it sounds like more so once the kids were older, yeah. Not as much when they were well when they were growing up, we took them, you know, every summer we'd go camping, or we had a pop-up camper, we'd go. Yeah, and we'd go to Minnesota and spend some time and you know, we would places with them. But now Don and I are doing a little, you know, here and there. And it's so fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:53

Yeah. You guys are still able to do that. I know that's well enough to do it. I know you can do the walking.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:58

I know. We are blessed for sure. We were talking about that, and we haven't had any parts, you know, knees and hips, and uh so hopefully which is great.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

Take advantage of it now.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:10

Hopefully we can enjoy it a little more.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:14

What's an important life lesson that you have learned?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:18

I think one of my things is it that just to have that if something bad happens, whether there's a reason or not, sometimes we don't understand, but you know, that you're gonna be okay, and life's gonna go on. And don't let it drag you completely down. And and sometimes things happen that it's like, why me? But uh then you look around you, why them? You know, there's people all over that have it a lot worse, I think. We are pretty blessed, I think, in what we have, and you know, family and the town, you know, friends, you know, people, and I think. You just have to take things in stride. And and like I said, you know, we've taught prayer is so important. You're gonna get through it. God's gonna get you through, but you have to have that faith too that He is.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:13

Absolutely. So what is a memory from childhood that you didn't realize was important until later in life?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:24

Boy, that would have to think about. And like I say, my my memories from childhood that I didn't know would be important until later in life. I think part of it is having my handicapped brothers and sisters around. And I think some people who oh, how can you do it? But they teach us a lot that patience and that maybe things don't go the way you want it to.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:53

Or yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:54

Um I think of families who have kids who they deal with and they deal very well, you learn a lot from that that people don't realize, you know. Once in a while you'll hear of people that they just don't want them around because they're different or whatever, right? What if somebody sees them? Or I don't know. I mean, there I don't think there's that much of it, but once in a while you hear a story and you think it's you just don't realize how much you learn from them. And they teach us, and we tend to think everything's gonna fall in and it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:27

Because it's hard, yeah, and it's uncomfortable, yeah. And but that doesn't mean that it's bad.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:33

No, it's you know, I know. I just I think part of the reason I'm the I mean you know, my parents are because of their patience, their love for every one of us, they're just you know, you help out and do this and that, but my brothers and sisters that I learned a lot, you know, that uh and I it's unfortunate some people don't realize that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:55

So who in your life do you feel like had influenced you the most while you were growing up? Do you have anybody?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:04

Not really, because it was just my mom and dad, you know, they would have, I just think of their how they raised us, and you know, we didn't have a lot, but we were happy, and they always, you know, you don't need a lot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:22

What's something or is there something that you always wished you did, but never got around to doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:28

My big I would love to have played a musical instrument, and I would love to. I never got wasn't choir because, like I said, moving again to a new school and you gotta go try out individually, and I had no idea, you know, so I didn't do it. I wish I would have, you know, but at the time I was kind of the quieter, I don't want to get out in front of everybody type. So but I wish I had some musical.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:57

When you're I know Thomas played the saxophone.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:02

Did your other boys do?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:04

Mark had a saxophone, also, I believe, and Michael was probably a trumpet or oh he's one of those. They all did.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:11

I think I would know Michael because I think he would have been in the van with me before.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:14

I know, but yeah, that was a while ago. And and I, you know, that Thomas had piano. Okay, and then he quit, you know. That was just, but I always thought when I was that maybe I'll take piano lessons, but it was hard, you know. After school, making sure everybody's where they're supposed to be, it just didn't work.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:38

Yeah. Well, something has to give. Yeah, do it. Yeah, I know. Right, right. If you could go back and give yourself a piece of advice, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:52

You know, and I I know I'm I'm patient, I don't get flustered and stuff, but just that everything's gonna be okay, you know, because sometimes you do, and I've said, you know, you've just got to know it doesn't, but even I get that feeling sometimes is why, you know, why can't you? But everything works out, and even with your kids, you worry that they make the right choices, but again, they have to make their choices, and I kid Mark, because he's right here, that I guess you are almost 38 years old. You probably can take care of yourself, you don't need your mom's advice. Poor Mark. But uh no, that you know, things will be okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:40

Do you? I mean, obviously, um Michael, if I remember correctly, he is in Bismarck. Yep, right, and Thomas is in um Oklahoma. Oklahoma.

unknown 1:10:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:53

Do you wish they were like even closer? Oh, I'd love to have them closer, but I also know Michael and his wife, Kayla, are moving to Florida this summer. So they uh have always wanted to do like that. And in fact, they're out of their house next week. Really? So they're going to roam from parent to parent, you know, and they they get to keep their jobs, but they uh are venturing off.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:20

So that's hard, but thank goodness we have park close and whatnot.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:24

And I mean we get to see Thomas and we usually two, three, maybe four times a year sometimes. But uh yeah, you always wish you could just see them all the time, or wish like for Thomas's kids, you know, you could get to some and we've gone, we've flown down twice for basketball games or soccer games just to try to, you know, because his oldest is 13, and you know, they're really getting involved, and you're gonna have to do it because pretty soon it'll be all done. And yeah, but um yeah, but they all check in with us all the time, and so I mean, I still feel that. But as a parent, yeah, you'd love to be able to give them a hug all the time and be there for them, and everybody just be the family compound, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:11

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:13

No, Mar talking about Michael, he what happened to him? He when he was what was he about, because it was in 2000. That's why I think of myself retiring in 2008. My mom passed away that Christmas, and then the next in the spring and stuff, Michael got he had some swallowing problems. He was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, whatever. Oh, okay. But anyway, he was having trouble swallowing, so he went in to a doctor in Bismarck. They were gonna stretch his esophagus. Well, little known to us till right after that. We went to see him a week later, and he looked terrible. And and then we went home that night, and Kayla called us and said he needs to go in, but he won't. So we got in the car and went and got him. And he would have probably died.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:16

What what had happened?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:17

His when they stretched the esophagus, they cut it open, and he was taking medicine, it was going into his um cavity.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:28

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:29

Yeah, abdominal cavity and just so they put him in and they did surgery. Um they didn't even they it was so bad, they didn't know if he'd make it through the night. Well, then they airlifted him to Mayo. Yeah, and he was in Mayo for like five weeks, came home, went back. Came home, but he is so healthy now. I mean, he's very uh diligent about working out and walking, and he eats smaller meals because what they ended up doing is stretching his stomach up. Somebody who has esophageal cancer has that surgery. They stretched, took his esophagus out, and stretched his stomach up. So that's his stomach is smaller. But there's a a thing of you think it's you know, it's hard to see your child suffer like that. And but you know, things are gonna get better. And it did, but he came through it, got married, and like I said, he's very healthy, he's uh very diligent about staying in shape.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:32

And I forgot about that.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:35

Yeah, that's right. So that was uh you know, really hard, but again, who knows why? But uh great luckily thankful, yeah. Luckily, the and then after the doctor and Mayo, they're the ones who operated. And it like Don said, we went to the waiting room in the morning and see all these people, and slowly everybody's leaving, and we're the last ones there. We're he's still in surgery. It was a long surgery because they had to clean the whole cavity out, and but uh then the doctor sees you, and of course, I'm sure part pretty typical, but we'll see. You know, I don't know. This was very extensive surgery, blah, blah, blah. And then it was the nurse practitioner a few days later that said, Oh, he does these, he'll be, he's gonna be fine. I'm going, why didn't the doctor tell me? Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:32

And he was, yeah, to give you a little bit more reassurance almost. Yeah, yeah. Um, what's one thing you would want people to remember about you when you're gone? That sounds terrible. I know when I'm gone.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:48

Well, you know, getting up there in years could be. Um, I just hope they know I was a caring person and you know, cared about I, you know, you try not to judge people because I always think there's a reason the way they are. You know, if you always if you only knew what they were raised like or what they've gone through, and you know, and some people don't agree with us or we don't have the same views, but we still care about them as a person. And it's just my faith that I, you know, had that.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:22

So are there any other memories that you would want to share?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:28

Boy, we've covered so much I can't think of any right now. No, I mean, I like I said, I just feel we've been so blessed with so many things, even though we've had our hard times, you have many more blessings.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:45

So I want to finish off because Mark had sent me a message because I was said uh to give me some if there's anything that he wanted me to ask you. Yeah. And oh, he had the sweetest thing. So I just wanted to put this out there. So he said, You are definitely one of the most selfless people to walk the earth, faith, family, and friends. I'm gonna cry, I know, all before herself for everything. A quiet leader, PEO, church guild, manor board. She's willing to do anything just so someone else doesn't have to, regardless of how it affects her. Handicapped siblings really shaped her soul, caregiver.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:26

I thought that was so perfect.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:28

And like I say, I know that's probably part of the way I am because I just grew up doing that. I didn't think of it as a chore or oh, I've got to do this. It's just part of life.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:39

And I think, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:41

How beautiful. And your son.

unknown 1:17:44

I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:45

You know, he didn't have to say that. He didn't have to. I know. But all I will say is you and Don are just amazing. I wish there were more people like you and Don on this earth. And I think anybody who has met you would both of you would probably say the same thing because you guys are, you just you give and you give and you help out wherever you can. And you're just the most down-to-earth people. I just yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:13

Nice to hear. Thank you. I we appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:16

So thank you for doing the interview. And last minute, see, you helped me out and did yourself. So I appreciate it so much.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:26

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:29

Thanks for spending a little time with us today on the Simple Lives We Live. If these stories mean something to you, one of the best ways to support the podcast is to follow, share an episode with someone you love, or leave a review. You can also support the show through the links in our website or social media bios. Until next time, don't forget, ordinary lives often hold the most extraordinary stories.