SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to the simple moments we live. The stories that made us who we are. I'm your host kind of similar. And each week I sit down with everyday people to come for their extraordinary life experiences. The moments of love, lust, laughter, and resilience that echo through to money. These are the stories that remind us of our moments, connect us to generations past, and show us that the simple lives we live are anything but ordinary. So settle in and let's listen back together. Welcome everybody. Okay, today's quote there is a large measure of joy in ordinary moments. That is my Susan Gamble Wix. I think that's wicks. But my guest today is I have the lovely Swenda Braden joining me. So I'm super excited. Welcome, Swenda. Thank you. I know a little about you, but not really. I don't, I do not know anything in depth about you, I will say, because you were a CCD teacher to me. For me. Um that's about all I know about you. So we're gonna start at the beginning. First off, I always like to ask how old you are because it gives us some perception of kind of the life you've lived a little bit in the time frame. So how old are you?

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Well, I will be 74 next month.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

74 next month.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Yes. I'm a February baby, Pisces.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

February. That's a good month. That's a good month. Might as well have a birthday in February because there's not a whole lot of other great things about February. Exactly. So where were you born and raised?

SPEAKER_01 1:35

I was born right here in Beach at the old hospital, and I was raised here, left for a few years, and came back home. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

We're gonna get so you are you've been around Beach for a long time, so you're gonna have a lot to share, and you're gonna have so many people that you can talk about who've been here. So, how many siblings are in your family? What are their names and what's the order?

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Um, I have four siblings or half siblings, um, two brothers and two sisters. The oldest is Helen, um, she's 17 years older than me, and then my brother Jim is would have been 12 years older than me, a brother Tom, nine years older than me, and my sister eight years older than me. And they are all past except for Tom. Okay, yes, and their last name was Schefer.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Okay, so who who are your parents?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

My parents are Oli and Mary Thorson.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Yes, my mom and dad were both married before.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Really? Yes. Okay, so that's a new one. Pretty so how was that dynamic? Were you babied? Were you not liked by the older ones?

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Oh, well, it's it's kind of a mixture because um having my sister 17 years older than me, you know, it was like having another mom. And the one closest to me was jealous because she wasn't the baby anymore. Wasn't the baby anymore. And there were there were two after me, they had the RH factors, so they they did not survive. So I have two younger sisters, and um so I was like the baby, the only and the youngest, and and the oldest of another family. Which is a weird it's a weird combination, but but there it is.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

Yeah. What were your parents like?

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Well, my dad was a carpenter, and he was he was actually born in 1897. Is that your dad was? Is that a kick? He was he was 55 and my mom was 33 when I was born. So there was a huge uh difference in age. So when I grew up, um my cousins were like my mom's age on my dad's side. And I didn't know his side of the family very well, but he was he was a carpenter, he did several houses here in Beach, and he he built um the rest areas in the north part of the park.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

Wow, so yeah, that's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Yeah, and he had his hands in the like Bringles and the swimming pool and all kinds of places. The house that um was a Hudson house and now it's um oh the banker. Yep, just Gene Hamilton's house. Oh, okay. Yep, and Thompson, the two Thompson brothers that owned the um lumberyard. He built those houses too, or was part of that that building crew that did that.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

So then your mom okay, so there's 22 years between them.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

And you're okay, first, what was your mom like?

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Oh, my mom was she was a great woman. Um I've mentioned to lots of people that if I ever grew up to be half the woman she was, I would be a happy woman. She um she was kind, she wasn't critical. She always had um an open place at the table for anybody. She brought in lots of people. Um she grew up in Minnesota, and when they moved out here, um and she married and had her first family, and then when they divorced, and sometime during that time, her siblings moved out here from Minnesota also. And I think she took every single one of them in at some point in their life. Really, housed them, found jobs for them, whatever they needed, and you know, then they went on to their own lives. She had two brothers or had a brother and three sisters, and the boy was right in the middle. So yeah, she was she was one of a kind, hardworking, hard working. Um I always said that she just never talked about anybody. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

What I well, I you was saying that there's that age difference and stuff too. Was so was your dad, did he divorce or did his first wife pass away?

SPEAKER_01 6:15

No, he divorced too. They didn't and there was no there was no children. Okay, and the funniest part of this is, and I didn't know her at all. I never met her. Mom said I saw her one time, but I don't remember her at all. But her name was Lena, and my dad's name is Oli. Yeah, so all those Oli and Lena jokes. Yeah, I had no idea about that until I was older.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

Well, I can kind of see then why your mom and my grandma were so like they are so similar.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

They are.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

I mean, even the age difference between them and their spouse, because my grandpa was so much older than my grandma as well. And just you describing your mom is so much how I would describe my grandma, you know, like even though my grandma had nothing, she would still give the shirt off her back. Exactly. And that sounds like what your mom was like, too.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

That's exactly who she was. I think that's why they were such good friends.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

And I I worked with your mom when I my mom?

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Not your mom. I'm sorry, your grandma. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Um, she worked for my mom at the service center, Exxon Station, where um Marmons have their building now. Okay, and we just had such a good time, and they were both fabulous cooks. You know, they could bake pies and rolls and anything you wanted. And in no time. In no time, exactly. Don't know how. I don't either. I've I never acquired that. I'm not I can make a pie, but it's nothing like what they did.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

And I can remember waiting tables, and um her and Rena would be in the back, and they would be giggling like little schoolgirls over over some, probably one of their kids or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

Right. Oh now. Did you grow up in town?

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

You always lived in town, did you guys always live in the same house?

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Oh no. Um when I was young, which I don't remember, little, like two and three years old, we were in an apartment, and then we moved to a house, and uh probably till I was maybe 12, and then we moved to what is what was Noise Cabins. I never heard it's where Cedar Liquor used to be up on the highway, those cabins.

unknown 8:34

What?

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yeah, that was that's when old Highway 10 went through, and um, we rented the cabins, and I we did laundry. We we I learned how to use a mangle. If you know what a mangle is, it's like a wide iron, and it was round, it turned, it was a cylinder, and and you'd put the sheets in there, and they'd go around and they'd they'd come out all iron. Interesting. Yep, very interesting. The cabins were old, and I think people would be appalled if they ever had to stay in a place like those now. Yeah, yeah, they were not quite primitive, they had a shower and a toilet and a bed and a TV that probably didn't work.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Were they clean though?

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Oh, they were clean, yes. They were clean though, okay. And we had um, I can remember we had a family come in. There was a cabin number nine, and it had a little kitchen and two bedrooms and a bathroom. And and he was oriental and he kept asking about a keychain, a keychain. And my dad couldn't understand when I didn't know what he wanted. And finally he says, you know, pots, pans, keychain. He wanted a cabin with a kitchen in it. That was hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

Oh, that is funny.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

And a cabin for a single person was five dollars a night. Wow, yeah, crazy.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

I want that now. I need that now.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

I would definitely stay in one of those for five dollars.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Now, where did you go to school at? Grade school was in beach, high school was in beach. Yes, was it Lincoln? Was Lincoln Lincoln?

SPEAKER_01 10:13

Um, I don't know what the old school was called. I just knew it was the grade school. I was there. So it wasn't this one that we have now.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

When they built this school around, you know, like this is kind of an L-shape or whatever you want to call it. The school, the old school was right in the middle of the block. And they built around it. And I was in the first grade and part of the second grade in that old school. Okay, before the new one. Very faint memories of that.

SPEAKER_03 10:41

Okay. Any um favorite teachers? Well, you know. Do you remember some of them? I am amazed.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Oh, so many.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

Really?

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Yeah. Mary Miller, I loved her. Um, I had Mary Canenberg, I had uh Helen Reisler, who would be Steve Risler's aunt.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Um, was probably a favorite. And and if you ever talk to Steve, he'll tell you that I was teacher's pet, must much to his chagrin.

unknown 11:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

And and which is probably which is probably too because we shared a birthday. And um, so did my I shared my dad's birthday too. But um, I remember lots of those teachers all the way from grade school through high school. But I would say Helen Sonic and Mary Miller were two of my favorites, the ones that really stand out. We had a couple single teachers that were probably first year teachers.

SPEAKER_03 11:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

And um things are way stricter.

SPEAKER_03 11:42

Yeah. So that's what I was gonna ask. What was school like? What do you remember about that school back when you were in grade school?

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Say grade school. Um well, strict. I I I think that's the one thing that comes to mind if I try to compare it to now, like in in the fifth or sixth grade, to kids that are now going in that same age group. It was um there was no talking, there was no horsing around.

SPEAKER_03 12:11

There was a lot of respect for the teacher.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Absolutely. When we were in junior high, um, the teachers moved from you had a homeroom teacher and it in each one, but the eighth grade teacher would teach whatever in the seventh grade and vice versa. Oh, okay. You know, so like if he had history, he'd come in. And I remember his name was Joe Solas, and he was very good looking. And he wore wingtip shoes, manicured nails, I'm telling you, and and a suit every day and tie. And the boys had been giving, and I was in seventh grade at the time, and the the boys were giving our teacher kind of a hard time, and they and she ended up crying. So us girls all had to go into the eighth grade room, and all the boys from the eighth grade had to go into the seventh grade room with the other boys, and Joe Solas went in and talked to him, and it never happened again. I I don't know what he said to him or how that happened, but I'd love to be a fly on the wall. But what did he say to get them to totally turn things around or you know it's exactly what you said though, Kylie, about the respect. And he had three paddles on his wall. They were boards, you know, three different sizes. One of them had holes, one was solid. I don't remember the other one, it was big, and he never used that. But if we got in trouble, the girls had to outline chapters, and if the boys got in trouble, they went to the end of the desk and grabbed the each corner and they bent over and they got one whack with the wow, yeah, yeah. There was discipline, corporal.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

Yeah, we definitely couldn't get away with that now.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

No, and nobody thought a thing of it.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

I mean, it was just how things were handled, and and there was no problem with it. That's so interesting.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Now, you seen like Mary Miller, and there was another one that you said that really stood out to you as more of your favorite favorites. Why would you say that? Like, what was it about them that made them your favorite?

SPEAKER_01 14:21

I think because Mary and Helen were both a lot alike in the fact that they would they treated every child, no matter what they wore, no matter what family they came from, in town, out of town, whatever it was, they treated them all the same, loved on every one of us. It it just didn't matter. And I suppose at my young age already, I I knew there was something special about that. And the teachers were all really good, but it just seemed that those two had a little extra dose of love and care. Love and care, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

Which does go to show you too that and then they never had the discipline problems in a sense. They probably gave so much, in a sense, respect to the kids and love, and therefore then they were respected also by the kids.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Like it's such a mutual because when they would tell you to sit down and you know, get your pencils out or whatever, nobody hesitated. Nobody ever said you didn't question it.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

No, we just did it.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

We just did it, and and I think you're right. I think it's just out of respect and and love that they gave. Any favorite subjects that you had? English. I liked English. Really? I yeah, I know. Not as much literature, but I loved English.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

Why was that? Was it was it the teacher who was teaching it? I think so.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

I probably in high school it was it was Mrs. Cohane, Charlotte Cohane, that taught English, and I think she had such a love for it that it would be um how was that related to Janet? Jan would be Janet Cohane's mother-in-law.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

It was her mother-in-law. Brian's mother, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

So yeah, she was she was an awesome teacher. In fact, we would do a term paper, and it would be excuse me, it would be a it would be a double thing. Let me think about this just for a second. Um the term paper and the correction of it, we would get graded on the term paper itself, the subject matter, and then she would also use it for grammar. Okay, if that makes sense. Yep, yep. And um, that was a huge part of our grade. And we didn't have to do long-term papers. She said, I just need to know that you can do this. And they would maybe be three pages long. Okay. Yeah, they weren't terrible.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

It was definitely written. Yes, handwritten. Handwritten, yeah. If you make a mistake, you gotta start over.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Well, unless you could get to one of the typewriters, I mean, and typewriters at the school.

SPEAKER_03 16:49

Definitely typewriters, no computers.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

No, no computers.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

What were some of your earliest memories of growing up? They can be like with your siblings, with just anything.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Earliest memories. I think probably I stayed with my grandma, my mom's mom, quite a lot, you know, in the in the very younger years, because my mom was such a hard worker. She she seemed to work all the time. So I would stay with grandma, and I can uh that that's some of my earliest memories. She lived in that little house right next to the skating ring. Oh so I went skating whenever I wanted to go and could come in and get warm and go back out if I wanted to. And um that I remember that's when I got my first Barbie doll, was when I was living with grandma. I had a Barbie Anakin.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

Anakin?

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Anna Ken, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

That's called spoiled. I know it's that was spoiled back then, and she made all the clothes.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

She made the clothes for the Barbie doll and stuff wedding dress, tuxedo for kin. Wow, it was amazing. When I think back to that now, and the intricacy of making those little dolls, and she would crochet like um fancy little dresses that look like um square dance dresses, you know how fancy they that's what they would look like. Wow, and she would make like the little scarves that go with it, and it was amazing.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

So, did your mom always work when you were little?

SPEAKER_01 18:21

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

She was always a worker, yeah. So then you would go to your grandma's during the day and after school and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Well, I'd go down there for lunch too, because yeah, it's not too far. No, no, it was, and we didn't have like you either packed your lunch or you know, well, until they had the new school, and then you could have lunch there.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

So your mom and dad both were workers, both were really hard working.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Yeah, I can remember then when I was probably 12. I started, well, quote unquote working for my mom. I would be in that back doing dishes.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

So that was your first job. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

I did babysitting and stuff, but that was like the first job I got paid for, like by check.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Or just cash under the table, like doing a babysitter.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

But my mom also had the cozy cafe, which is just where this blank is next door. Um, and I can remember coming from the school with a couple of my friends, and we would come in the back door, and my mom would have fresh buns, and she would open them up and she would put um frosting from uh from um long johns.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

On these buns, and then giving them to us warm.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

I was gonna say, when we're talking freshly made, like it is freshly made.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

I had a lot of friends back then now that I think about it. Come to the case.

SPEAKER_03 19:59

Were they true friends? Were they they'll never tell, right? So wait, your your mom had Mary's cafe.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

No, cozy cafe.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Cozy cafe. Yeah. Who's who had Mary's? Wasn't there a Mary's cafe? Or did they just always call it? Was there there was a Mary's cafe.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

Mary's corner.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

Mary's corner?

SPEAKER_01 20:22

That was not my mom, no. And my aunt and uncle had Pat's Cafe.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Well, I want to say that when my grandma was working with your mom, we're gonna get off topic for just a second, but that was my mom's first job is washing dishes. So, would that have been for your mom? Or was that a different?

SPEAKER_01 20:47

That was probably either Derner's or the Park Cafe.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

Mary's Park Cafe. I thought they said Mary's. So that's why I'm wondering if see now. I'm gonna have to go back and ask. Was it actually Mary's Cafe? Because you're saying, like, no. I'm wondering if that's just what they have called it.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

It could be.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Do you know what I mean? Like just like we don't always have the correct name, the correct name, and we call it something else by who owned it or whatever. So that's just yeah, I'll have to ask. I'll have to ask. Because she remembers washing dishes.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

But I mean, maybe it wasn't. Yeah, I gotta I'll have to go listen to her interview again, you know.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

But well, down by Rhones, there was a cafe in there. That was the Park Cafe. So it could have been there, it could have been there, and then there was a cafe down here on the corner where um probably how many cafes we used to have.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

Yeah, you didn't you yeah, there wasn't just one.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Pat's Cafe was several different places at um Buzzi's, and next door to that was the um dime store, variety store. Yeah, I worked for them one time too.

SPEAKER_03 21:58

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

I did, I did. And I worked, I worked for um Pat and Tommy when I was in high school, and I worked for my mom when I was in high school. I worked night shifts for a summer. Because the night shift was open 24. The only night, the only night it was closed was a Saturday night. And then it would close at like eight o'clock at night, and then it would open at five in the morning on Sunday. So there was it wasn't really like having a night off.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

Right. No. Now what were what were Christmases like when you were little?

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Um a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

Really? It seemed like Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Did you guys celebrate it more one or the other?

SPEAKER_01 22:47

I think more just our family on Christmas Eve, but Christmas Day, it just seemed like everybody was there.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Um, you know, my aunt has 10 kids. Um Pat and Tommy had five. Um, and it it seemed like at some point during that time they were there. And there weren't 10 kids at that time when I was little, but five anyway. And still a big family gathering.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

Was there certain meals that you guys had? Was there like a certain menu, shall we say? Traditional that you always had Christmas Day or Christmas Eve.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

Oh, I think I think it was just like we had Christmas Eve, was a lot of times we had oysters too. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

I do remember that. I remember my mom hating oysters but loving the broth. And I just ate whatever my dad ate because that's how I rolled.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

But no, I think it was just traditional.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Um, turkey, all the trimmings. And just thinking, man, I hope I can cook like this someday, because and I we always seem to have enough food no matter how many people came in the door.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

And now, did you guys have a bunch of gifts? Was it more like here's one gift?

SPEAKER_01 23:59

How many there wasn't a lot of money? Right. You know, and and we didn't know it. I mean, I don't I don't remember thinking, gosh, I don't have anything, I'm poor. Right. And and it wasn't thrown in anybody's face. I had when I think back now, I had friends that well had more had more money than we did. I'm not saying they were wealthy or anything, but nobody cared. It was just we were friends and we we cared about each other. But no, we there wasn't a lot of people. I never heard that from anybody. Yeah, in fact, I think lots of times we had to ask, what did you get for Christmas? Of course, then you know we'd share. But I remember one Christmas getting a pair of furry earmuffs and a pair of beautiful pajamas that I thought was the cat's meow. Yeah, yeah, those earmuffs super practical.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

You guys were so excited to get them.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Yep. And and they were the long kind, you know, that everybody wears now. The long pants and stuff. I never had any like that. I either had a nightgown or you know, it was grandma made nightgowns for all of us. Sure. Flannel. Yep, you know, that you can't turn over.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

Oh, yeah. Well, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

But no, I had I was I was really happy that year. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

What were what were birthdays like? Were birthdays pretty simple too for you guys as well?

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Well, not for me. They were very, very special because I was born on my dad's birthday. Okay. So we we had each our own cake every year, and his was always bigger, of course. Yeah. I have pictures.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

We're going, I I think I got chipped here.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

And my mom always took us to Jack's club for shrimp supper for our birthdays. So yeah, my birthday was a big deal.

SPEAKER_03 25:51

Yeah. Did you get a ton of gifts too? Or was it more just in fact?

SPEAKER_01 25:55

I don't even remember gifts per se. And I'm sure I got something, or maybe it was just money. I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:03

But it was really more of the Oh, yeah, to go out to Jack's Club. That was a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

I remember when I went to college and I had my birthday. I spent my birthday down there. Disappointment. Yeah, we didn't get to go to Jack's club. But I also remember a shrimp supper was probably$2.75.

SPEAKER_03 26:24

Which was big money then. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

First off. Yes. Now and all three of us would have shrimp. It was great. Sometimes other people would join us, but most of the time it was just mom and dad and I.

SPEAKER_03 26:35

Yeah. Did you get a lot of one-on-one time with your parents then because your siblings were so much older than you?

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Oh, I think probably more so than they did, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

Yeah. Yeah. And the the older four were all from your mom? Yes. Right? Yes. Right? Because you said your dad didn't have any from your first marriage. Okay. Um, how about Sundays? Were Sundays special in your house? Well, were they kept as a day of rest? Was it was that a day where family got together?

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Well, my dad and I would spend Sunday mornings, we would go for a drive. I probably knew every country road within 25 mile radius, and he started teaching me to drive long before my mom ever knew. Because yeah, she she wouldn't be happy about that. And then when mom would get off at two, we'd pick her up, and then we'd go, we'd drive to Medora and get a cone, or we'd drive drive to Glendive. And I just remember she always wanted the back sleep seat, and then she took a little snooze.

SPEAKER_03 27:42

She'd been working absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

But so those were really special.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

I mean, it's not like we did anything huge or did you guys go to church on Sunday mornings?

SPEAKER_01 27:51

No, my dad was Lutheran, and um with mom being divorced, it was just something that got left behind. They saw it too that I got to church most of the time.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

So what church did you go to? Catholic.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

I did.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

My grandma took me for a long time. And then um my dad would make sure I got to CCD. And so I would, I would, I went to church by myself most of the time. Or I'd find, you know, one of the kids that I knew and go sit with them.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Because you're talking about them being divorced. That is kind of it is different for that. At that time, that was really different. Um did your mom feel did she feel more judged then? Do you think? Is that why she didn't go to church? I well, I think.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

My mom had such a deep faith. She didn't know. I always knew that.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Um, growing up, it was I was it was never a doubt. And I think faith is caught more than taught. And that's how I felt. And she just emanated kindness and and all the things that you would expect someone as a churchgoer would be, a person of faith. She lived it. She live, thank you. That's exactly what she did. She lived it. And um until I think my dad passed away, and then she came back into the church. Oh, okay. So And she she was always there for any anything that happened with my kids or um, you know, baptisms, first communions, confirmations, all of that.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

How old was your dad when he passed away?

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Um, 86.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

And how about your mom?

SPEAKER_01 29:38

87. My mom was only 73. Yeah, she had a really bad heart. They had they had told us that she probably would never be in a nursing home. Her heart would just give away, and that's what she did. She passed away in her sleep, which I'm so grateful for. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

Yes. How how old were you when she passed away then? Um you were still fairly young then, because I mean if she so um she died in 84.

unknown 30:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

No, my dad died in 84. My mom died in 93.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

93.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

So 52, 93, 40 something.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

That is still really hard though. It don't you feel like it would no matter how old died?

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:25

You still it's still hard.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:27

It's still your mom and dad.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

I just have so many. Well, I apologize to my mom a lot posthumously because you know, you do stupid things as a teenager, and um I can remember waiting up for my kids, and I think, oh mom, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_03 30:46

I'm so sorry. You don't appreciate it until you're in that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Absolutely. Um, what did you guys do for fun as a kid? Because you were kind of almost on your own. So did you go run around finding friends?

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Or there was always five or six of us that lived on bikes.

unknown 31:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

And in the summertime, I took swimming lessons in the morning and swam all afternoon, and then they had evening swim with with the lights and everything. Yeah, I spent as much time in that pool. And if we weren't in the pool, we hit every corner of town on bikes.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Yeah. Do you did you guys get together for like baseball games or just pick you know what I'm saying? Like you know, outdoor play. Let's go play, let's go play baseball, let's go play or whatever. Um, things like that. Did you guys do a lot of that? Or did they have organized baseball in the summer?

SPEAKER_01 31:38

They did, but I I I didn't participate in baseball or softball or or basketball or any of those things. You didn't do any of the sports. I was kind of on the brink of getting into girls stuff, you know. Um I I really liked being outdoors and we would make up our own games, you know, as a kid, and we my dad had a lot of like lumber left over from jobs and stuff. Sure. And we would we would build stuff. He had these tall um saw horses and plywood that would be uh pieces of it, and we would make houses. I remember one time. My mom was not happy with me, but she had she would buy things in case lots and it would be at the house for the restaurant. And some of two of the things were ketchup and peaches. Well, we we had a war, and so yeah, yeah, you're yep, you guessed it. I opened up a thing of ketchup, a gallon, a gallon of ketchup, and we were bleeding all over the place. Oh, it was terrible, Kyle. And then then we were hungry. Then we were hungry, so I opened up peaches, and but we never wasted them. We wasted the ketchup, yes, but we ate the peaches. How old are you?

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Oh, probably that was in the nine ten. Yeah, for you, that was probably like best day ever, ever.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Your mom came home and because we had swords and shields and oh yeah, it was the best day ever until the hammer came down. Until the hammer came down. But I think she laughed more about it than she was mad, honestly. Because I would have had my kids in that age group and doing that. Yeah.

unknown 33:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

I would have said, no, you can't do, and then turned around and just went, What the world are they thinking and laughed.

SPEAKER_03 33:40

I I would have had some choice back for my kids for sure. I dealt with so many broken windows though that I'm like, kidney. Oh, yeah. Many times we were like, I love my kids.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

I love my kids, I love my kids, right? Like, I mean, we've all had those, and I'm sure your mom had that same thing. It's what it's good that you're cute. It's good that you're cute.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Any vacations that did you guys take vacations this year?

SPEAKER_01 34:04

No, we didn't. No, no, I just don't remember vacations. Come on, Swendic.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

I mean, you were so deprived then. You didn't fly. So deprived, I know. You didn't fly anyway.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

I know. But we had picnics, Kylie, out of 18 mile bridge on Beaver Creek, and the whole family would go out there. They would, my Aunt Bernadine would fry chicken probably for hours to get it ready to go to us. And then they would make potato salad. They took lawnmowers out there and mowed down this tall grass, and they would take wool blankets. The guys would play poker on these wool blankets on the ground. And us kids would go down to the creek and fall in and nobody.

SPEAKER_03 34:51

Probably catch yes. I want to say salamanders and brogs and all the things, turtles, yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

Yeah, and come in with suckers between our toes, bleaches.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

Yeah. Don't you wish you could like go back? I I always say, I wish I could give my childhood to my kids.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

Oh, me too.

SPEAKER_03 35:11

Because you didn't know what other people were doing. You just were so in your own world having fun with your own family, your own friends.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

And there'd be 35, 40 of us out there at different times, coming and going, and and um babies and diapers.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

No, but I mean, you really didn't. People went on vacation?

SPEAKER_01 35:29

What?

SPEAKER_03 35:30

Yeah. Because that was a vacation. It really took that.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

And it was like one day. But we spent the whole day out there, and I'm sure kids were asleep long before they got home. Oh, yeah. And that was the days of cloth diapers. You know, when you went out there, you you had to be ready for all kinds of contingencies.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

We didn't and we didn't have the conveniences in any way, like even to make that food and to keep it hot and to keep or whatever cold, you know, they didn't have what we have now, the supplies.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

The norm was potato salad, pork and beans, chips, and not even so much chips, and chicken and probably hot dogs.

unknown 36:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

I mean, we didn't really grill, we just took everything ready out there. Yep. Yeah, it was great. The picnics forgot about that.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Yeah, the picnics are were were so such a staple. Maybe I should put it that way. I do feel like they were a staple, and that is how you got together with so many people in the community or your family or whatnot. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

And so I'm sorry. We did take a vacation when I was um probably a senior, junior or senior, and we went out west to see my dad's brother out in Oregon, and and they took us around out there.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Yeah, it was always to see family.

SPEAKER_01 36:49

Yeah, always.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

Yeah, yeah. That's really where people and it was a long trip, and a lot of times you didn't have the AC and it it was uh a chore to get out there, yeah, put it that way. And so you really appreciated it.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Yeah, we took the old highway, which was probably I think they were probably just building the interstate. So it's not like we took it. I think that's where we had to go. And we saw so much more stuff than you do now from the interstate because it's re up and go and get there and but um it was it was just such a fun trip because uh um for one thing, my mom got to get away from I was just gonna say when you own a business, yeah, people forget that.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

Exactly. I mean, I have the same issue myself, right? Oh, it sounds so great. It's hard to leave. It is it's very hard to leave it, and you kind of feel a little there can be some resentment also almost because you don't get the value, it's so relied upon.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

I I think having a a restaurant especially is like having cows. Oh it's you you can't get away. I mean, you have to have somebody that you really trust because you're obviously working a shift, and you gotta find a replacement for that.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

Plus, you gotta have somebody that can take care of the business aspects of it and really manage, yeah, make sure everything is running well.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

Yeah, I think one of the greatest things of that vacation was when we got to Billings, I was so excited to see my first mountain.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

I was probably 17, and I went, Oh my gosh, there's the mountains.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It was crazy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, and you think about it too, because maybe you saw mountains and pictures, but not anything in person, and you didn't have the even first seeing it in a book, it's not like now where we have the internet and you can look up what that view is like or whatever, you know. Yeah, um, and no, you said you didn't play organized sports growing up, and I think that that's so funny because you still didn't feel deprived. Like I look at you and you know, my mom's family is the same way, and I mean, even for us, we did play, we played sports, but sports was not our life. No, it was never our we loved it, and we would go to like some camps or whatever. But even my mom, like, she didn't really like sports, and girls' sports weren't her own, they just had sure leading, you know. But they the childhood, the free, the freedom that you guys had, the carefree, carefreeness, I don't know the right word. But there is never a time in your life where you are going to have that because once you become once you graduate, and sometimes even once you are old enough to work in the summer, you have a job. There is something tying you down. When you're little, you don't have that, and that is the only time that you will ever experience that. And now you have this and you have this and you have this lesson, and you have you know it's not it's and the pressure from all that is unbelievable.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

Well, it's not healthy, no, it's really not healthy. It isn't healthy, what and and my parents. If I would have been in something, it they wouldn't have gone to every out-of-town basketball game. I mean, people just didn't do that back then. Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 40:07

Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

You know, you went on the bus, you went with the pet band or whoever. And and oh yeah, the pet band.

SPEAKER_00 40:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

So it wasn't it wasn't like um I and I don't want to use this term, but I'm going to helicopter parents that have to be on top of everything. There was never that. I mean, you went to school, if you did sports, you did sports, if you did music, you did music.

SPEAKER_02 40:32

And um it really was for fun. It really was for fun.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

It was kind of like rounding out your whole experience of high school and everything.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Getting to try it, try this, learn about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:47

Um, we talked about work, we talked about how old you were when you started working. Um what are some other well, after you graduated, did you go to college?

SPEAKER_01 40:59

Only for only for a semester. I went to Wapaton. Okay, what did you go for? Well, I was in data processing, and I'm thinking, if I would have stayed with that, I'd be one of those wealthy people that we talk about.

SPEAKER_03 41:14

But would you have been happy in that? No, I can't imagine you. You're such a people person. I can't imagine you sitting there doing anything like that.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

Well, I didn't even like it then. It's like, I I've got to be doing something more active than this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:29

So you went for a semester, you came back here.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 41:32

And what did you do for work after that?

SPEAKER_01 41:34

Um, I got married.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

And got married. Okay, so let's talk about yes. Now, is Huey your Osmans' full name real name?

SPEAKER_01 41:43

His name is Gary.

SPEAKER_03 41:44

It is Gary. I knew that, but everybody has always called him.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

Yep, he's always been Huey. He picked that up in grade school.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

Okay, yeah. Well, and as I have talked to so many people, everybody had a nickname.

SPEAKER_01 41:56

Yep, it's true.

SPEAKER_03 41:58

And a lot of it has nothing to do with their actual name. So you met Gary. How did you how did you? I'm gonna call him Huey. Yeah, how did you guys meet?

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Oh, that's a funny story.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

Um and my cousin, Rick Lynch, were good friends, they were only a block apart um from living from by each other, and they both lost their license. Their driver's license from exhibition driving.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Yeah. This is a whole different area. I'm not surprised. Not surprised.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

And so they'd be walking, and I had um a rambler, a 63 rambler, and I would pick them up on the way because Rick and I were close cousins, and and um I'd start taking them to school, and that's how I got to know Huey.

SPEAKER_03 42:54

How old were you both?

SPEAKER_01 42:56

I was a freshman and he was a senior. Okay, and then we really didn't get we didn't really date or anything until I was a senior and uh and out of school.

SPEAKER_03 43:05

And out of school.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:06

And after he graduated, what did he did he go to college?

SPEAKER_01 43:10

Yeah, he went to Wapaton. He was uh auto mechanic.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

And he came back here and went to work for um Cameron Hardy.

SPEAKER_03 43:18

Okay, so at that point when he came back, that's when you guys probably started dating.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:23

How long did you date before you got married?

SPEAKER_01 43:26

Uh probably a year.

SPEAKER_03 43:28

Okay, so you got married right out of high school pretty much.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Pretty much, very young, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:33

But would you do it any other way?

SPEAKER_01 43:35

No. Like looking back, I I wouldn't change. You know, yeah, people talk about regrets. We all have regrets about something.

SPEAKER_02 43:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

You know, I regret not having a v uh an education to do whatever. But it's not a regret that would have changed anything because I would do it exactly the way I did it.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:55

I I do typically ask about regrets, so that's good to know. Yeah. And and it is um some of those things that you that you may regret could have changed the trajectory. Yeah. And maybe that wouldn't have ended up so well either, right? So you can always play the like what if in a sense, but that doesn't really get us anywhere. And Father Father Eli always said went to a talk and he said, um, the devil is the king of what ifs. Yeah. And I was like, right? Because then you're living in like what's not your reality. So what is the point of that? Then you don't live in the present and and whatnot. And Emily's like, that's a really good way of putting it.

SPEAKER_01 44:33

Well, it's it's just another way of comparing yourself to other people when or what your life could have been, or what you think it yeah would have been like.

SPEAKER_03 44:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:42

No, I I I wouldn't change anything.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

So you guys didn't date long, you got married. What was your what was the wedding like? Did you do a big it was small?

SPEAKER_01 44:50

No, it was small. I had um one attendant and Huey had his brother, Dale.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

And um it would it was it was a small wedding. He wasn't Catholic, so we we didn't have a mass. The whole ceremony was probably 20 minutes. And God rest the priest now, but he talked about um juvenile delinquency at our wedding.

SPEAKER_03 45:21

Wait, so you still had it at a Catholic church? We had it at the Catholic. But you didn't have the full mass because okay, exactly. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 45:27

Father Canopic was his name, and he was he was not a homilist, but he was such a great priest, otherwise.

SPEAKER_00 45:39

Well, I started off pretty good, but I don't and and I looked at Huey that going, what is this?

SPEAKER_02 45:49

That's great that you guys remember what I was about.

SPEAKER_00 45:51

It was so funny. Was that supposed to mean something to Huey?

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Are you are you reflecting on our childhood? Are you saying something for what's coming? Or I didn't know where he was going with that. Oh wow it's a memory, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 46:07

Now, did you do the the whole um reception, wedding dance, that kind of thing?

SPEAKER_01 46:11

We didn't do the wedding dance, but we had a reception at the church like they always used to. I I couldn't tell you what it was. My guess it was probably roast beef, potatoes. Did you have Garden or no? The women of the church, the church made it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:26

You know, at that time we had like think of how much money you saved.

SPEAKER_02 46:30

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

When I think of how weddings used to be done, yeah, versus now, and it's I heard something. It well, it really is. And they were saying it was like you know, something on social media that's like a divorce letter. He's like, usually the bigger the wedding, the bigger the wedding ring, and the whole hoopla, almost the greater chance of a divorce. And I I think that's why I like to ask about people's weddings because so many had such great marriages, and their weddings were like the simplest of weddings, and you just tried to keep it more I don't want to say low key, but how they did it back then, and it has gotten even from when I got married. Um, we'll be married 21 years this summer, which is crazy to think. But you didn't have to save the dates, you didn't have um none of that. It's it so we ours was still considered pretty minimal, I would say, compared to what they do now, even with everything. I'm like, whoa, what's it gonna be like in another 20 years? Like, how extravagant are these things gonna be?

SPEAKER_01 47:35

I found our invitations not so long ago, and they were typed out on little fold cards.

SPEAKER_03 47:42

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:43

Typed out, you were invited, blah, blah, blah, blah. And and that was it.

SPEAKER_03 47:47

My sister-in-law made ours. Yeah. She was like, oh I'll make a heads and you know, and they look beautiful, they were fine, you know, but not.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

And at the time, my mom and dad had the cabin camp yet. Okay, excuse me, and a lot of my friends came up from Wapaton that I had just gone to school with.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

So and mom and dad put them up in the cabins for nothing. My mom fed the whole crew the whole weekend. And when I say fed them, it's like we were talked about the picnics.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

Chicken, roast beef, good.

SPEAKER_00 48:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:26

It wasn't let's order pizza from whoever. We we never did any of that. It was all mom cooked ahead and it was all ready. I think about how much work she did. And I'm embarrassed to say I I hardly helped her. You know, when I think about the way yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

You were well, you were the ARG AI, and you were probably hanging out with your friends that had come. Yeah.

unknown 48:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

So it was really interesting, and and all those women from we had three altar societies that put that supper on. Three different groups of women, and now we can barely put that supper on it as well.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

Yes, get one right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:06

And it was all glass dishes, there was no paper plates, glasses, cups, silverwork, the whole nine yards.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

Yeah, and you had to wash those dishes.

SPEAKER_01 49:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 49:15

That's that's the thing, too.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

And the kitchen was always full of women, full of women. It was a great time to get married. Yeah, it really was.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

Well, and it's sad. Um, I've talked about this in uh some of the other interviews too. I think the thing that I miss about even listening to your guys' generation um was the the face-to-face communication, the face-to-face getting together, community events, the um just things that people did together. And now I will always say that I am an extroverted introvert. Like I love to be around people, and then I'm like, I want to be home. Yeah, you know, but I think a lot of that is because I am around people so often. Yeah, but I love conversations like this. I love visiting with people and getting to know them better. Yeah. In this, it's not, but it is deeper, it's not that superficial.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

Yeah, how's the weather? How's the weather and whatnot?

SPEAKER_03 50:12

And people back then that you know they didn't have the social media and stuff, and that is how they got together.

SPEAKER_01 50:17

That is how they're so grateful for that.

SPEAKER_03 50:19

And they had deep conversations while they were making all the meals, washing the dishes, and I think even that with like families, and we constantly try and tell our kids like a lot of conversation happens around doing dishes and drying together. You don't leave the dishes. We never had a dishwasher, you know.

SPEAKER_01 50:38

When when my kids grew up, I never had a dishwasher, and that's that's what I did. One wash, one dried, and um I learned so much about what was going on, and just listening to them, yes, while they were doing that. And my grandma used to make quilts, my grandma had be mom's mom, and she always had one of the frames set up in her living room. Well, not you know what I mean when she was ready to make them, and we either tied them or she quilted them, but we tied most of them, and it would be like my mom and her two sisters here, and whoever else, and that's where I learned to tie a quilt, and it would take up the whole living room, and I was the one that went underneath to take somebody the yarn, so I went underneath the whole quilt that was spread out on this frame, and and now they have to set up times and places and call it whatever they call it for women to get together when it was so natural back then. You know, you take care of somebody's kids and they'd go do something, and then Teresa your kids would go to their house, or if you did something together, some of the guys would hold down the fork.

SPEAKER_03 51:51

That was the village. That was the village. That was the village, yeah. Yeah, so you guys had doing the wedding and everybody coming together to make this meal. And yeah, how long how long before you guys had your first because you have three children. Am I correct?

SPEAKER_00 52:07

Well, I had four.

SPEAKER_01 52:09

Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

So let's talk about them.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

Well, Tara's the oldest, okay, and um then we had a stillborn girl between her and Trish. Okay, and then um Trish and then Michael. Okay, my little Mikey. So there's like five different five years difference between Tara and Trish. Okay. And then there's only 18 months between her, and there's only 11 months between Trish and Teresa, the one oh that passed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:43

How how was that? How how did you manage that back then? What did you do a burial? Did you mentally how did you deal with that?

SPEAKER_01 52:54

Well, it was so hard because um I think it was as hard on my doctor as it was me.

SPEAKER_02 53:01

Really?

SPEAKER_01 53:01

Yeah, he was he was just beside himself. It was Dr. Thompson and Glendiven and when before I came back home, God bless my husband and his folks and my mom. I think that what they thought they were doing for me was the right thing. Um they went home and they took the crib down and they had a burial and I wasn't there. You know, and I don't know when when you're in that state, you you don't think of those things being not what you wanted. Right, it's just what happened. And um when Huey came up to see me after it was all over, he said um I have the rest of the stuff to put away. And I asked him, I said, Please don't do that. I need to come home to something, I need to come home to have some closure.

SPEAKER_03 53:59

Instead of like she didn't exist. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 54:02

And I I know what they were doing. I mean, they were thinking of my feelings that you know maybe it would hurt less or whatever. Well, you can't take that hurt away by not having those things. It's it's just what it is. But one of the worst parts of it was I went out to the cemetery and I didn't know where they buried her. It was awful because I was wandering around out there crying because I couldn't find my baby. But um I had to work through a lot of that with a lot of help from priests and friends and and whatever. But she would have been 50 this year. Is that crazy?

SPEAKER_03 54:46

But you still think of that. Oh, like that's the thing that I I wish people would understand is that it doesn't go away.

SPEAKER_01 54:52

No, it doesn't it really doesn't. No, so when people say how many kids do you have, and I say, Well, I have three on earth and one in heaven, because she's she's our little saint now.

SPEAKER_03 55:03

Yeah, how um how did she pass? Like what was the circumstances?

SPEAKER_01 55:11

She she actually tied a knot in the umbilical cord.

SPEAKER_02 55:15

So when she dropped fluke things, yes, it hold it tight.

SPEAKER_01 55:20

And uh yeah. And my my kids were all overdue, so they were all big babies. And Trish was induced, so she was the smallest one, but they were all over nine pounds. And her she was no exception.

SPEAKER_02 55:35

So I just think bigger babies are stronger. Does that make sense? And I think tying that cord was part of her strength.

SPEAKER_03 55:49

Yeah, so you went through the whole labor and delivery and everything.

SPEAKER_01 55:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 55:56

And that's so hard too to recover when there's not you do all the work, you know. It what it was hard, but did you get to hold her though? I don't know in those days.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

Did that ever I asked, I said, can I see her? And and Doc Thompson said, No, I don't think you want to. And that was the end of the conversation. So I never even I never even got to see her.

SPEAKER_03 56:21

Yeah. So is that that to me, looking back, would that that would probably be a regret that I would have. Is that maybe a regret of like I didn't get to hold her, I didn't get to see her. And I feel like too, sometimes those are the things that I don't want to say eat at you, but you can still think about. Well, absolutely, right? Like what did she look like? What yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:41

And I dealt with a lot of anger for a few years because I'm sure that others got to see her, like my mom, and you know, but oh God bless us all. We never talked about it. You know, it was just one of those things that oh, it was a hard thing and it happened. Now we we need to move on with our lives and go on to the next happening, whatever that might be. And then when I got pregnant, like almost immediately, it it was like I was caring her all over again for four or five months.

SPEAKER_03 57:16

Did you have a lot of like um during the next pregnancy, did that cause you to have a lot of anxiety because of the previous experience?

SPEAKER_01 57:27

I think it caused Huey more anxiety than it did me.

SPEAKER_02 57:30

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 57:31

Did he ever talk about it? Did how did he handle it? Because I think oftentimes we do forget that they also lost it.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

Yeah, you know, he didn't handle it well, but as a lot of guys did back then, it you know, you throw yourself into your work or whatever it is that, yeah. And um we talked about it, but not not in any depth.

SPEAKER_02 57:58

That probably helped either one of us at that time. We talked about it later on, but at that time, no. This is so raw at the time, you know.

SPEAKER_03 58:10

Yeah, and too, it's a different, a different, I'm gonna say a different generation. Yep. But you didn't, it was it was more like and pros and cons to that. I think like two, yeah. Maybe sometimes we over talk about so many things, right? And our problems and our feelings so much, and they're all out there, yeah. Whereas it would be nice to have maybe back then a little bit more of that, but today maybe a little bit more toughness, and we still have to move on, like we still do have to have to move on. How do you find that balance? Right, you know, a little bit, but um so then you had okay, I gotta think of your Tara's your oldest. Then you have the Silver, and what did you name her?

SPEAKER_01 58:56

Teresa.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

Teresa, yeah, and then you have um Trish.

SPEAKER_01 59:01

And then Mike. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:02

Okay. And how many, how many grandbabies do you guys have now? They're not babies. No.

SPEAKER_01 59:08

My youngest grandchild turned 17 yesterday. And then I have six grades. So I have nine nine grandkids plus two um extras from Bart and a relationship. Yeah. So I have 11. They're just as much my grandkids as the other ones, they're just part of the family. And and then um Terrace boys have each had a baby in the last few months, and of course, uh Teresa has the two boys. So there's four right there, and Jade, Trisha's oldest, has um a little girl, and then JC has a little boy. So I have six great grandkids.

SPEAKER_03 59:55

Life's good.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

It is, life is life, is wonderful.

SPEAKER_03 59:59

So I want you to talk about first off, if you can share some memories of Huey.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:04

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:05

So I want you to tell any of your favorite. You can tell as many as you would like. I want to talk, I want to start there with.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:13

Oh. Well, he was always larger than life, you know. He was such a kidder and and um big personality. Big personality. And he, I guess he would be the type of person I would say, um, what's that saying about I haven't met a person that isn't a friend, or I haven't met a friend that I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:34

Oh, yep, yep, I know what you're saying. I don't know how the saying goes, but yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:38

And that's kind of how he was. He could just make friends with anybody and everybody. And um I remember one time there was a couple that was having some financial difficulty, and they they had um a house fire, and I had just bought a table and chairs at a rummage sale, and had asked Huey to go pick it up and a couple of other things. And on the way home, he ran into this couple and gave it to him.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:10

So he came up empty-handed, and you were like, What'd you do? I said, Where's my table and chairs?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:15

And I couldn't be mad at him. Oh, yeah. You know, it's like he said they really needed it. I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

They needed it more than us, I guess, right? Right. And that's just the kind of person he was.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:28

He he was he was full of BS. But I remember when he I think he was working for the no, we had the shop, we had our our meat shop and catering business. And he went out in the pickup one day and it's full of like uh bags of shredded uh paper, like from a regular shredder. Yeah, but stuff the cab of the pickup was full of these bags. It wasn't just the shredded paper, thank goodness, that they filled the cab up with, but it was bags of shredded paper where you couldn't get in the vehicle. And he came in and he said, Who do you think did that? And I said, Well, let's think about the places that would that would accumulate that much shredded paper. I said, It's either gonna be the school, like home on the range, or like the FSA office, places like that. And of course, who came to mind was Cheryl McCaskey and Mary Bartle. And sure enough, so he he just mowed that around and let it go. I mean, he called him and gave him a bad time, but months and months later, um, Bartles were going to be gone for the weekend, and and I don't know whatever made him think of this. He got a hold of a flatbed trailer from uh probably I I don't even know who went out to the landfill and picked up old tires, an old car, I don't just junk. He ran into Sherry Zaplin and she said, What are you doing? He says, Well, I'm gonna show Mary Bartle what it's like for paybacks. Sherry went out there with him. Oh, totally, not even surprised. Not even a little bit. She finds an old bike, and I don't know what all. And and Mary's yard is pristine, to say the least, yes. So we went down there and she has this big driveway, and people are walking by. One of them was Joe Kreidinger. He says, What are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:42

So Huey told him, he says, I'll be back. He came back with me.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:47

I think he's the one that brought the washer and dryer, too. But he did bring the toilet. So we had a toilet on her step, a washer and dryer. We made signs, we never put anything in her lawn. It was all on the driveway, and we we didn't mess any of that up. But we had beer cans and popcans, and it looked, and we thought they were gonna be coming home. They even were gonna go get um bleachers from and invite people to watch it when they came home, but it didn't turn out that way anyway. She she just shook her head. They were walking up down the driveway, just going, You went through all this? Oh, yeah, he doesn't mess around, he does and he does a payback. It was great, but it went from the bottom of the driveway all up to the front of her garage. So it was ironing board, oh my god, it was just that's awesome! Yeah, it was it was fun, and that's that's the kind of guy he was, yeah, and he was a firefighter, he loved fighting fires. He went out west in the 80s when the fires were so bad out there, and he had his own crew. Howard fought fires with him, they went out there lots of times, and um he loved that job, and he hated his birthday, and he was out there on his birthday. Best birthday ever.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:06

Why did he hate his birthday?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:07

I don't know. He he never he never liked his birthday from the time he was little, so we tried to make it a little bit low-key, but that's kind of hard when you've got kids and you want to celebrate dad's birthday. Yeah, but he took it with a grain of salt most of the time. Most of the time.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:22

They wanted cake, okay? They wanted a reasonable cake and so now when did Huey pass away?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:30

He passed away. It'll be 12 years in May.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:32

It's already been 12 years, and it was really unexpected. How did he pass away?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:38

Well, he ultimately died from liver cancer. Okay, but he had um is it bilier billion, where all these places come together from your pancreas and your kidneys and your and all that. Okay, and they were trying to put um a port. In there. And it it just they had to clean it out, and then it kept getting worse, and then his but ultimately he died from liver cancer.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:10

Okay, so it wasn't as unexpected. I was seeing it, or maybe it was just sooner than maybe he went he he went to the doctor, I think we started in October of 13.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:21

And his dad passed away that month, and then he was gone the day after his 65th birthday. His dad's birthday was the 24th of May, and Huey's was the 22nd of May, and he died the 23rd of May.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:39

Right in between.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:40

Yeah, that was that was a bad few months. Um I had hip surgery and then had to have it again, and then Floyd passed away. Trish had her house burned down, Floyd or Huey died, and then his mother died, and it's like we need to be done with this year. It was it was just so much. But yeah, 12 years. 12 years it'll be.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:06

How do you because at some point for all of us, typically the spot one right one spot is gonna go first? How have you been able to navigate that? Because that's like your person, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:24

Yeah, like well, it was a struggle for a long time, and I was stuck for a while.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:30

Um, I just can't imagine life without your person.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:33

So well, I couldn't either. Yeah, I couldn't either. Um, lots of very, very good family and friends that surround you. But at the end of the day, you go home to an empty house, you know, and it's all those things that you did together. Um Sundays are still hard because that's what you know. We both worked so hard and had um busy, busy lives. But Sundays were always special. We would we would go in the country and drive, and he'd tell me the stories again about where he shot this deer and that deer, and it was in that field, and you know, but um I always had to remember that my kids lost their dad too. And and we've talked about it a lot.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:27

And especially with his personality, yes, that's a it's uh so many things noticeable presence that is not there.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:38

Um so many things come up that one of us will say, Oh, dad would have liked that, or dad would have whatever it was. And when he passed away, there was a lot of his firefighting friends that came down. It was awesome. It was really and to hear stories that people had of him and how they were affected by his presence and what what he did for them, lots of stories I never knew about. I mean, I knew Huey was a good guy, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:10

But yeah, that's why he married him, is that right? Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:14

And how awesome that you got to share that life with him. Like what a blessing. 43 years, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:21

Yeah, we were married in 71, so it would have been however many now. I don't know, 55. Yeah, but yeah, we made it 43 years, and I'm I'm grateful for those 43 years, and I think that's something that I have to remind myself often about a lot of things, you know, when I'm thinking, gosh, I missed this or I missed that, or I shoulda, shoulda, coulda, woulda. And but to be grateful for what I had had, what we did have, and you know, got to see grandkids and all kinds of stuff. Yeah, and yeah, he he's probably missing out, but is he really? Right, yeah, right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:59

Well, and what a life well lived.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:02

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:03

I think Father Mike Schmidt says something about he had done a homily, and it says something like, We should all I'm gonna totally butcher how we said it, okay, first, but something about like hopefully we we get to the end of our life, basically with a lot of scars. Because that is like it's true, you know, and I'm like, that is because then you lived. Yep, yeah, you got to experience a lot, and he did probably do experience.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:31

Marilyn Mo and her her kids lived across the street from us um after she was divorced, and and we gave those girls such a bad time. They were just little girls at the time, probably.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:46

Well, they have their huge personalities, and they they picked him picked on him mercilessly.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:53

So one morning when they were all in church, he went over to their house and all their bikes were in the driveway, and he took rope over and hoisted them all up in the trees. Yeah, I'm sure they would share that story.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:09

Oh, he didn't think of that.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:11

And Steel Steadman was our neighbor Kitty Corner the other way, and she was out cleaning on a Saturday, shaking rugs, you know how you do, and sweeping and whatever. And Huey calls her on the phone and says, I don't appreciate all that dust coming over in my house from your rugs and just giving her a bad time. So him and Tara sat down and cut up. See, he pulled his kids into this stuff too.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:37

And cut up a bunch of newspaper and magazines and just little pieces, and went over to her house and knocked on the door, and she said, Well, come on in, you know, and he goes in and he shakes out all this stuff on her floors. And her girls were little, little, they're sliding in it, going through that. And she just stood there, you could almost see the steam coming out of her ears.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:59

She says, I just spent three hours vacuuming this house. And he says, I'm sorry, and he leaves. Oh my gosh. But he's probably the only one that could get away with that, you know, and not, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:14

Not have gotten hand over the head, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:20

Um so we talked about some of those regrets. So I'm not gonna ask you because we did we did touch on that. Um one thing that I didn't have written down, but I I would like to hear your perspective. If there are things from your childhood that you wish your grandkids could experience, what are some of those things?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:44

Freedom to run around town, to be able to walk anywhere you wanted to without worrying, um, without parents worrying that somebody's gonna grab them. All the things that you worry about that they would grow up with without social media. And I I know there's a lot of good things about social media. I use it all the time. I think I'm on every Catholic website that there is, you know, and it comes up all the time. But I I just I I wish we could just go back to the times when everybody took care of each other and we didn't depend on government. We could disconnect. Exactly, exactly, and that they would be able to do that, and and money and things didn't mean anything, people did. I know my older kids are my older kids, my kids got more of that than my grandkids, and now my great grand grandkids are in the middle of probably a mess. But I also go by the the theory that God made you for this season, this time, and he's gonna equip us too. And he's gonna equip my great grandkids for their time. I I just have to believe that, or you know, the worry would consume me. And no, not gonna let that happen. Because ultimately, bottom line, at the end of the day, God's still on his throne.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:12

Yeah, you know, and we're still in charge of our kids to be exposed to what they are exposed to, but also equip them to be prepared in a sense, like to good people and like constantly reiterate like into the values, morals, things like that. You know, and to have more of that influence so they can be exposed to what the world maybe has to offer, but no, to put it put it in its place that is hard, yeah, you know, and to have make happening.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:46

And I I don't think kids need to be going to school and preschool and all that at three and four. You lose so much of your own morals and influences on your kids when you put them in the care of somebody else. And don't misunderstand me.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:03

I you especially because your daughter does daycare. Exactly. So you're you're coming at this from like you know, like you understand them.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:11

I know people have to work, and I wish they didn't. But a lot of women choose, and that's good. But our our main resource is our kids.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:23

Yeah, yeah. And if we don't take care of them and teach them. Jared often says he's like, I should interview you. And I was like, I tell everybody, get married young, have all the babies, don't work, don't go to college. And he's like, Really? I'm like, that's probably yeah. That's pretty much what I did. Um, and just because it's just it's just money. It's just money.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:45

It you know, you can't take it with you. You can't know and then if you have money, they're just gonna fight over it. It and I don't really is I think no matter how how well you raise your kids, when there's that looking at you, if there's uh an inheritance or something, that there's gonna be misunderstandings and yeah, all kinds of stuff. So my kids won't have to worry about that. They say which one of us are gonna pay the debt? No, I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:11

Yeah, right, right, right. Well, I have to say too, sometimes you can you can spend your money and not worry so much like to die where you have just enough. Really, just enough, right? Like used up and there is nothing to fight over. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:31

What's something you would want people to remember about you when you're gone?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:35

Oh, I looked at that long and hard. It is a hard one. It is a hard one. I can think of all the material things that I would want people to remember about me, but I think I think the most important one right now would be my faith. And and to be able to be bold enough to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:55

Not hide it.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:57

You know, and and to just know that I love people the way they were.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:04

I didn't expect more or less. I just love them the way they are. That's a hard one.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:14

It is. Yeah. Well, and we were even talking about like your mom and my grandma.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:19

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:20

Right. See I look at my grandma and or think back to her, and she didn't have anything really materialistic that she left us, her ceramics that she made us, you know, I guess it'd be the most. But what she left in us, the memories, she always made us feel important. You know, when we were over there, we always felt important. And even if it was helping her do the tours around the house, you know, it was if we could go and get a little ice cream cone, it was probably a junior cone because that's all she could afford, or a baby cone, or whatever. And it was never the thing, but she spent time with us, she was present with us. Whether it was baking or the recipes that she would make us, that and we still think about her, we still cry about her, we still miss her, but she didn't leave us any material things.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:19

You know, it's yeah, that's the way it was with my mom and with Huey's mom and dad. You know, they became my parents early, they they lived well into their 90s. So I I'm so grateful. My kids grew up between the two grandmas and grandpa Floyd with the best of the best. When my kids were in high school, they went down to my mom's to eat dinner or lunch lots and lots of times. And they'd go back to school and they'd say, Well, what'd you have for lunch today? And they go, fried chicken and mac potatoes, and you know, and they just had such a good relationship with my mom to spend that quality time, and I will always be grateful for that. And for Floyd and Ida, they don't come any better, they just don't. When people would talk about their mother and father-in-law and have all these, I couldn't even get in that conversation, never ever, because they were always so good to me, so good to me. And my kids, of course, it's the only three that they would ever have, and they spoiled them rotten, but not as much in the material way as you'd think. They would go up there and play and play and play.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:31

Um, Tara probably won't re-appreciate this story, but um you don't have to share it with her, no, share it with the rest of the world.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:42

When they were like just preteen, you know, that that fine line between dolls and boys right in there. Yeah, they could go up to Ida's and play house, play dress up, play whatever it is that you still are on the little girl side. And she would bring her friends up there and they'd go up in the attic and they would just play, or upstairs, and they would just have such a good time and and and and be safe. You know, grandma never told anybody, it was just for them to go play there. And when they were all little, she always had a a pool, a little blow-up pool.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:22

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:23

You know, and she'd fill, she'd take hot water and haul buckets and pour it into the pool with the cold water because it so they wouldn't get cold. Oh, and it was that kind of spoiling that she had. And sometimes my kids had to go there when they were sick, and they all tell the story about they had their own TV tray and their soup and their drink and the TV. Absolutely. And she had little toys in different corners of the house, like like they were little um areas of separate play. Yeah, it was awesome. And they would go swimming in the pool and they'd get all wet, so they'd be running around. This is like when they were two, three, four years old, and they'd be running around naked, and then she'd dry their clothes and get them dressed before I'd come back. But it was all protected up there, it was all trees and shade, and and it and nobody ever saw them. But those kinds of things are the things that I think grandparents are for. Because you can spend that one-on-one time with them. And I'm so grateful that my kids got to experience that. And I hope that their kids will appreciate like me and all the other grandparents that they have. It's it's just such a blessing to be a grandparent.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:41

And to get especially for you with them around, the ones that are around, to really be able to spend that time, that quality time, and not just sending gifts.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:52

Yeah, because it's from a distance. Oh, there's so many.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:54

Yeah, oh my gosh, right. Which is wonderful and such a such a beautiful thing, too.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:00

I've given my kids kind of a bad time about, you know, one of you could have moved away so I could go visit. I don't mean that.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:06

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:06

I love having them here. We get together often, which is awesome. Yeah, you know, okay. Ian Teresa's youngest always says, When are we doing a family night at Trisha's? Because that's where we gather, because she's got the biggest house. And then we do a family night, whether it's soup or whatever. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:28

That's what makes that's what makes you rich. It is that's that is what makes you rich. That's success.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:34

Yep. If I died today, I would die definitely a rich woman.

unknown 1:22:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:39

I'm not dying today, but you know.

unknown 1:22:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:42

Any other memories that you would like to share?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:44

Oh, no, it was a nice walk down memory lane. I think when I think back on all the jobs that I've had over my life, you know, like Floyd, my father-in-law had the same job for 40 and 50 years. And I think I probably had a job every four or five years. Because some of them are longer, like 10, 11. But I I just feel so rich about having so many jobs and working with so many wonderful people. Home on the range, I worked with Fritz Schmitz's, um, I worked for Pat and Tommy, my mom, especially. All those things just you know, they just make me the person that I am, having spent time with all those people. It's a great town.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:33

It is.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:34

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:35

No town no town is perfect. Oh boy, it's a great one.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:39

It is, it is. So that's about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:42

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:43

It's my life in a nutshell.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:44

I know, I know, it really is. It's like you could talk for hours, but to try and get the big yeah, yeah. But thank you so much for taking the time to do it. I thank you for asking me.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:54

It's been fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:55

It's been really fun. Really fun. Thank you for listening to today's episode of The Simple Lives We Live. I hope this story reminded you that everyday life holds beauty, meaning, and lessons worth sharing. If you enjoyed this conversation, please take a moment to fumble the pumpcast and leave a review and help some more people discover these stories. Do you know someone with a story worth telling? Reach mum. I'd love to hear from you. You can connect with me, um, Instagram about the simple lives we live. Until the next mum maybe hum in the ordinary moments of ingratitude in the simple lives we live.